[what-even-is-thiss]

I often forget that people outside of my little corner of the internet don’t see problems related to reproductive organs as gender neutral and making jokes about my very manly uterus won’t go over well with the normies

[7777777awawawa7777777]

patrick is short for Patricide and squidward is short for Squealing Edward and spongebob is short because he has little legs

[orcboxer]

happy pride I'm glad I'm gay I'm glad you're gay I'm glad we're both gay and alive

[dragon-in-a-fez]

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

[vinceaddams]

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

[freshstaplegun]

Happy Pride Month from these gays guys

[oneheadtoanother]

[byjove]

Let me give you all a tip that I doubt will be helpful for you, do not build a house if you do not already own a house. You might see “new construction, buy the lot and pay us and we’ll build this” listings on real estate sites, do not fall for them. A shitty one bedroom bird in the hand is better than a three bedroom new construction in the bush. These contractors suck ass. There is an 85% chance it will take YEARS to build that house and they will do it so incorrectly you will spend the rest of your life suing them to fix it. It’s not ALWAYS a scam but it is not a risk you want to take if you’re already renting and scraping buy. Get a house with good bones (get a private inspection) and work on making it your dream house, avoid paying for the concept of a house.

[screenshotsofdespair]

[zoazoaa]

I'm a time traveller from the 20th century. I travelled 26 years into the future to deliver this message. At a speed of 1 year per year

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[catkola]

Bitches wanna buy their boyfriends the latest consoles but when was the last time he CONSOLED you? ps 5 years ago

[byjove]

your life is too easy. you need to go to the nearest animal shelter and adopt the first tortoiseshell cat you see

[cutecipher]

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

[cipher-fresh]

the 20th century is crazy what do you mean that airplanes didnt exist in 1900 and by 1999 Futurama was airing

[3000s]

the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

[freshstaplegun]

no thoughts, head empty