i hate like Starting Discourse but like … as somebody who has seen kind of a lot of messed up posts this pride, i want to point out that inter-community violence and exclusionism is … frankly inherently anti-pride. just… listen for a bit and if you don’t agree, that’s fine. but listen.
there’s a reason people say “no homo.” even though we hear all the time about how we’re *special snowflakes who get special attention*, people know that this isn’t a safe community to be in. i mean belonging to it - identifying openly - is a scary thing, one that paints a target on your back. so when someone voluntarily says “this is where i belong”, what the heck am i saying when i say, “no, you don’t.” they don’t get special buttons, they don’t get hugs and kisses. people who come out get kicked out of houses, abused by parents. we know that, but we lose sight of it for some reason. i was kicked out of my school’s lgbt+ group by some of the students because i was “not gay enough”. i believed it. i couldn’t say “i’m bi” for another four years after it. i said i was straight but like, playing. i said i was straight and i went home to catholic parents and i said i was straight and i went to prom alone because the girl i loved was out of state and i said i was straight until i was nineteen and drunk and whispering “i like her” to myself in a completely dark room. i still sometimes wonder - do i belong at pride? because of how much people seem to think we don’t.
and i might be alone in this but it makes me sad when people say “oh such and such an identity is taking up our space!!” there’s not a limited amount of space. that idea is something that the straight world wants us to believe, that we can only fit into this tiny little corner and that’s it. but the more of us there are, the more space we take up, the more force we have. so of course the outside community wants us to silence those who “aren’t gay enough,” because if you have only those who qualify shouting, you’re not going to have nearly enough voices. but if all of us - and i mean every person you call “fake bi”, every person who “just went through a phase” - whatever - if all of us are shouting, how much louder would that voice be? if we didn’t kick out every teenager who said “i’m just experimenting,” if we included every mom who “had a fling in college,” if we…. were together…..
those who oppose us want us to fight. divided, we are a mess, as every revolution is. they want our pride to be spent biting at each other instead of turning around and fighting. stonewall wasn’t where we fought each other. stonewall was when it finally stopped mattering, we were all angry, and hurt, and willing. and that fight? that’s what started us on the path to being free. an entire tide of people, all “enough”, no matter where they fell in lgbt.
i know this: people cannot steal my identity. just in the way that stars cannot steal each other’s beauty. let them in. if you won’t love them, send them to me. but a nation of gates and locks and tests is not a community.
