it is my solemn duty to fag this place up

dion - 24 - they/them - credit to @m-4r1a for the beautiful, lovable, perfect trans weevil

[iilef]

Resisting the feminine urge to say I love you to everyone I have a positive interaction with

[lollytea]

My cow had a baby IF YOU CARE!!!!

[lollytea]

Lets glare at the intruder with Mama

[probuccalfat]

why do so many freaks go right to “there should be exams or tests before you have kids” when the real solution is better social services, robust infant and child development education that is accessible both financially and schedule/distance accommodating, and resources throughout any stage of a child’s life. genuine question like did you think about any social development before going straight to eugenics

[fleshengine]

I think we need a different word for it other than "AI Psychosis" tbh

[inthefallofasparrow]

i'm sorry, WHAT is this now?

[uneclipsing]

Tumblr mobile pros; drag the post button weeeee rainbow

Tumblr mobile cons; the most graphic and horrific ads you have ever seen in your entire life

[sabertoothwalrus]

this idea came to me in the shower and I actually doubled over because I was laughing so hard

[sabertoothwalrus]

Visit Original Link

here's the unmuffled version. if you even care

[foxbirdy]

A short comic I made about my experiences as a seasonal worker, and the way places change you.

Prints & PDF

[aroundmeblackbats]

when you go to bed significantly earlier than usual, a little menu should pop up asking if you want Wake Up Early or More Sleep. and then you should get what you requested. that's my human body UI improvement for the day.

[furryprovocateur]

lmfaooooo

[transmechanicus]

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

[transmechanicus]

Experienced people eater weighing in with the most galaxy brain option

[inthefallofasparrow]

Call 911, they'll come to you

[quinnspinkcamera]

when people are like "i didn't come here to make friends" i'm like thats sooooo unrelatable. i am always on the look out for some girl friends. I would be in that hunger games cornucopia like "your ex boyfriend did WHAT."

[larkandkatydid]

New local scandal is an old woman who will walk down to her mailbox in her robe, then, when no cars are driving by, lay down next to her mailbox as if she’s fallen or been hit by a car. Tourists will stop, help her up, and walk her to her house. Then, after they leave, she’ll repeat this until she’s bored with it.

Her neighbors have called the cops a bunch but have been told that it’s not illegal to fake being an old lady in peril so soft-hearted tourists or newcomers are nice to you. One of the neighbors sometimes yells “oh, get up, Lois!” at her. But overall local sentiment is that this is at least somewhat enviable levels of not giving a fuck.

[dogpuppy]

[larkandkatydid]

New local scandal is an old woman who will walk down to her mailbox in her robe, then, when no cars are driving by, lay down next to her mailbox as if she’s fallen or been hit by a car. Tourists will stop, help her up, and walk her to her house. Then, after they leave, she’ll repeat this until she’s bored with it.

Her neighbors have called the cops a bunch but have been told that it’s not illegal to fake being an old lady in peril so soft-hearted tourists or newcomers are nice to you. One of the neighbors sometimes yells “oh, get up, Lois!” at her. But overall local sentiment is that this is at least somewhat enviable levels of not giving a fuck.

[pangur-and-grim]

my house is scary at night

[storyweavingspider]

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

[schmergo]

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

[caesarsaladinn]

Lincoln Lincoln