Listen:

Hi there. I like to call myself Orlando Wood for mysterious reasons. To quote the philosopher/sailor Popeye, "I yam what i yam."

[wiseaufilmsofficial-blog]

when ur from texas and you freakin’ love your ridiculously tall jacked up truck

[adamazur]

“Victorian Velociraptor with Violets.” Acrylic and liquid gold leaf on Rives BFK. Made by Adam Mazur. 

[ipomoeaj]

“MOTHER WHY HASN’T THE DUKE CALLED AGAIN?”

[ishipitlikeups]

Someone painted this.

Someone out there sat down and said that they were going to paint this.

Somebody planned this out and then did it.

What a time to be alive.

[sarahbennet-deactivated20180416]

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FUCKING THING FOR MONTHS

[maisonderriere]

The Onion’s review of Mamma Mia 2 is the only one I need

[jonah-dean]

I feel like this is directed at a specific person. I don’t know who but I hope they got the message.

[gookied-deactivated20181011]

it’s me

[did-you-know]

Source 

[norahmayberry-deactivated201712]

“When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”

[catbountry]

“I asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. “Of course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, it’s the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But I’ll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone else’s cat.””

Wow.

[fuckyeah-nerdery]

Cats now control the prisons. They now have an army.

[thesocratease-deactivated201510]

This post went exactly where I expected. Well done.

[my-middle-name-is-awkward]

[paininthejas]

THAT is big dick energy

[beaft]

going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half

[beaft]

“And so Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, and Eve turned to Adam and said, 'Nice going, loser.‘” 

iconic

[beaft]

whilst you were listening to avril lavigne, i learned the way of the Lord

[your-bald-majesty]

This is amazing

[surreal--memes]

[Src]

[ronin134]

Never forget

[taviacw]

[killin-the-machine]

Character development

[boss-of-the-plains]

This is exactly what Steve would have wanted

[lydiduh]

In 15 seconds of dialogue Francis Wilkerson sums up what’s wrong with how women are criticized in our society and it’s great

[fieldbears]

I literally remember when this aired and something clicked in my head. He was putting to words what I kept seeing over and over in media without apology or explanation

[sunnybuttercup]

Thanks American Girl!

[balinkim]

My brother is a senior in high school and his weirdo English teacher gave the class these terms lol

[thepurposeofplaying-blog]

ok no i think this might just be the most important post i have ever seen

[bearynice-archive-deactivated20]

Why is the x files so….. dark. Like, visually. 90% of the episodes are at night, I can’t see shit!

[snally]

[etherealcomics]

“Oh yeah… That’s… Batman…” “Batman’s real?” “Yeah, he’s… He’s over there.”

[dimestoretajic]

this sounds like a pair of stoners meeting

[gerrycanavan]

for your convenience

[arandomthot]

Making conversation can be tougher than it seems

[nessaaageee]

This one time at work, I was training someone and the system froze so I decided to have some small talk and I asked her if she had any kids or anything (she was older) and she started crying. She asked me if it was cool if she went to take a walk to get some air and I told her okay because I mean what was I supposed to say? Anyways, she came back clearly still upset and told me that her husband left her for one of her daughters.

After that, I kept all my conversations strictly work related.

[hameenahatesyou-deactivated2023]

👀

[skinoutqueen]

Bitch whet

[the-howling-storm]

[clockworkmachineking]

[baddayatwork]

And Coworkers wonder why I never talk socially. 

~Ash

[unfortunate-waitress]

I have this couple that comes in all the time. The woman is my dad’s distant cousin, she knows that and exploits me to get free shit. I honestly hate her. Anyway. Her husband has a severe seafood allergy. Severe. I work in a seafood restaurant, so I always wonder why she drags in there if every time they leave, he has to take an injection so he won’t fucking die. ANYWAY. I had this large party and she was there. Usually when they come, I go ahead and get fresh hot oil working in the back so the food won’t take too long.

I greet her, hug her, make light conversation because i’m fake as fuck and I needs that coin. I look around for her husband and I say, “Is your husband here? I want to go ahead and prepare his dish so it can come out on time with everyone’s food.” Without missing a beat, this bitch says, “Girl, he died last week! Can I get a peach tea?”

…

YALL.

[unfortunate-waitress]

::UPDATE:: So I tell my dad what happened to her husband and he looks me dead in the eye and says, “Hmm. That’s her 4th husband. They all keep dying.” … So I am convinced that she’s a black widow and she just keeps killing off her men for that check.  Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger…

[heyoscarwilde]

From imdb: ”During the filming of some scenes for The Princess Bride, the weather became markedly cold for Robin Wright Penn. Andre the Giant helped her by placing one of his hands over her head; his hands were so large that one would entirely cover the top of her head, keeping her warm.”

comic by Box Brown :: via flickr.com

[midnightsylph1]

This is so sweet how can I NOT reblog this. 

[catbountry]

D’aaawwww.

[coelasquid]

All of the behind the scenes stories about Andre the Giant were adorable like this, Apparently Wallace Shawn is deathly afraid of heights, so he was freaking out while they were doing the scene scaling the cliff and Andre was like “it is okay, I’ll keep you safe.” there’s a behind the scenes thing on the DVD and everyone is choked up and misty eyed when they talk about working with him.

[poupon]

Andre the Giant was a radiant human being.

[triss19]

I’m so glad he gets to go down in history as everyones favorite giant. What a legacy!

[narwhalsarefalling]

fun fact

im weirdly knowlagable in the history of soda i dont even drink soda why do i know so much about it

[narwhalsarefalling]

coke and pepsi taste different because coke was invent before refrigeration so it was designed to be drunk warm, while pepsi was designed after refrigeration was invented so it was designed to be drunk cold. as a result the tastes are different but if you drink pepsi cold and coke warm theyll taste the same.

[yoon-ity]

Why the fuck do you know this

[narwhalsarefalling]

i honestly have no idea

coke’s recipe was originally green but the designers made it brown so it looked more like tea

[squirrelstone]

Had they never seen green tea?

[narwhalsarefalling]

i dont even know if green tea was invented in 1886 but they wanted to make the public more open to eating the fizzy drink

[gostaks]

Green tea was invented in the 13th century and made up 22% of the tea thrown off the ship in the Boston Tea Party 

[narwhalsarefalling]

alan i know about soda not green tea