[urso2000andlate]

“dinner’s ready”

“there’s 5 minutes left can you set the table”

[loadbearingsonicjpg-deactivated]

Why dont you go watch a studio ghibli movie and think about the power of love and kindness and maybe you'll calm down

[solarsyrup]

when you build up trust with a cat and they finally let you touch their little paws

[officialunitedstates]

i just saw someone with their blood type in their tumblr bio like what???  like the paramedics are gonna be like “quick check her tumblr account”

[insomniac-arrest]

I think if I was an ancient human I too would believe in multiple terrifying Gods given that I’d be strolling around and might run into one of these bastards

or these dnd-esque shadows of fear coming from above

I think humans invented sophisticated language just to describe this thing to each other

as our father art say, religion is stored in the fucked-up-looking-deer thing.

[ewil]

murder is bad? even if i say sorry afterwards? even if i am an anime girl.

[delusional-cannibal]

[ewil]

this is the worst website

[permaculturefarmingdesigns-deac]

[sputternutter-deactivated202010]

I was very okay and even proud of the English for this right up until “crinkle crankle”

[captainboringposts]

I love that they saved that until the very last moment.

It’s like being hugged and then immediately punched in the face after.

[tracing-rivers]

[jemariel]

The fuck are you talking about, crinkle crankle was the best part

[w04hxo]

I legit just deleted another reblog of this to reblog this one. Youre right and you should say it

[punbeam]

101 Dalmatians: The Reckoning (2022)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I ever tell you about the time I accidentally kidnapped my neighbor’s dog and took them for a walk?

[lizard-of-choice-deactivated202]

Be a dear and tell us already!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this is the most polite reply I have ever received, I feel like I’m accepting an invitation to tea with someone’s grandma.

*settles down into comfy floral armchair* ok so I was new to the neighborhood and one afternoon there was a small dog wandering the sidewalk. we get very little traffic but it was still a safety issue, so I got a dog leash and (after a frightfully one-sided game of Tag You’re It) managed to convince the slightly chubby corgi to let me attach the leash to their collar. Unfortunately their collar didn’t have tags, no address or phone number, and I was new to the area and too shy to knock on random doors. The corgi, meanwhile, was champing at the bit, so I decided to just hope they knew their way home and could lead me there. We set off through the neighborhood and walked for about a mile, which would have felt like a goose chase except the corgi was trotting along seeming very purposeful about where we were heading. Sure enough 15 minutes later we’ve made one big circle and are pretty much exactly where we started, except one house over.

And that is how I met my next-door neighbor, a friendly older lady who informed me her corgi’s name is Biscuit.

[souls-and-desist-deactivated202]

I appreciate the story but you’re staining the armchair

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i have BECOME the armchair!

[pointnclick]

enough “chicken soup for the soul.” how about some chicken soup for the hole

[woodrider]

that’s just regular chicken soup

[pointnclick]

not gonna lie i forgot mouths existed

[nicolerichiecirca2003]

[weaver-z]

I don't just think kink should be "allowed" at pride, I think we should train a huge pack of those puppy mask dudes to bark at all of the floats that have corporate branding on them

[weaver-z]

You get it

[slightlyunofficial]

[ID: a response from @chamomile-crow that reads: “bud light alcoholism float dismantled by pack of rabid kinkster dogs.” End ID]

[ultrawandit]

ok thats all for tonight

character i have a humanoid form for a storyline, he uh, doesn't have an english name yet (right now it's xeier). i haven't developed him enough yet for a concrete backstory but-he's here alright. yep.

jellinu ahhaha

[anxietyproblem]

[toadschooled]

This absolutely miniscule little specimen is a baby Amazon milk frog [Trachycephalus resinifictrix], a species native to the Amazon Rainforest but commonly bred in captivity. Adults of this species breed in water filled tree holes, with females laying around 2500 eggs which form a gelatinous mass. They spend their entire span of their tadpole stage in these holes, only emerging once they’ve developed into little frogs. Images by Kate Cholamin.

[parkchanwoohoo]

"Q: It is illegal for drivers under the age of 21 to operate a vehicle while under the influence, True/False?

A: False! It is is illegal to drive under the influence at ANY age."

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

[parkchanwoohoo]

I passed the test because it was fairly simple compared to the damn psychological warfare conducted by the practice test I used

[parkchanwoohoo]

Actual test: Identify which of the following is a stop sign

Practice test: Four cars at a four way unmonitored intersection and youre the only one turning right. The car across from you is hydroplaning, and the driver of the car to your left exits the vehicle and pulls out a gun

[restlessreylo]

I walked into my local grocery store and found….this