brain vomit

you can call me Fungi! he/him 20yo

[fungifunguy]

Casually thinking about the time my parents thought removing my bedroom door as punishment for staying up late was a good idea.

in reality it just resulted in sleep deprivation (I love my cat but she's a little shit), worsening grades, and a hospitalization.

They would've never removed my door if a family friend hadn't told them about doing it to his daughter. Boy do they feel silly now!

[mahgck]

you have to outlive donald trump

[mahgck]

imagine how funny the internet will be on the day he dies.

[nattousan]

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

[fungifunguy]

Had a weird af dream last night about me and my boyfriend getting stalked during a camping trip by two of our ex's (one of his and one of mine). I don't know how but at some point we ended up in Brazil??

[neenarchive]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[neenarchive]

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

[elektrashocktherapy]

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

[stillgotscars]

this part of stevie nicks’ interview with rolling stone is taking me out

[fungifunguy]

It might just be me but it always seems like the Katy Perry / Taylor Swift era pop singer women are fighting with each other or trying to make drama *on purpose*. Don't we have enough of that the way it is?

[momowho34]

Here’s to hoping that every single person with schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder or DID or NPD or any other ridiculously demonized mental illnesses has a wonderful day

[momowho34]

oh and people with ASPD and borderline and bipolar disorder and anybody who experiences psychosis but doesn’t have schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder. i love all of you and i wish you the absolute best <3

[mycroftrh]

catholic guilt vs protestant belief in your own inherent superiority, fight

[mycroftrh]

wait no I just remembered a few hundred years of history I take this post back

[bananahomo]

[anarchocunt]

[bread--quest]

[ID: Tags reading “#is there like beef between catholics and protestants?” End ID.]

[ID: A realistic painting. A man dressed in red with a jester-ish hate on his head sits, hands folded, staring with an intense and dark expression forward, as if deep in thought about something unpleasant. A modern laptop has been edited into the image so that it looks like that’s what he’s looking at. End ID.]

[ID: A message from “conorv93”, with the Irish flag and “Ireland” appended to their name, reading “Ah lads not again”. End ID.]

[pocketss]

the girls...

[octobersociety-deactivated20241]

[stalker-among-the-stars]

There is another way

[saintofpride201]

By the Nine, keep your whore mouth shut

[lierdumoa]

Pretty sure the other way involves keeping your whore mouth open

[space-blue]

[itsapmseymour]

Yknow when sunlight hits a black cat just right and it gives their fur that orangey tone?

That’s the proof that inside every black cat is a stupid orange one

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[yourlocalxenomorph]

please can we do inbox trick-or-treating this year. can we make that a thing on tumblr. please please please please please

[yourlocalxenomorph]

literally all it entails is sending people "trick-or-treat" asks and people answering those asks with pictures of candy or those silly spooky plastic toys or whatever else you would give a trick-or-treater. please. please can we have some whimsy

[coelii]

Don’t forget trick or treating this year everyone!

[marvelmaniac715]

I won’t forget this year

[bigmilkymantatas]

You'll all get treats this year if you send those asks my way!

[that-mf-under-your-bed]

Mutuals

Get ready

[sandmandaddy69]

[oarfjsh]

they probably cant love me back in a human or even mammalian sense, but my goldfish with their smooth pea-sized brain have learned to trust that i will make them better when they are sick. i feel like crying about this often

[cantabilechaos]

Maybe Princess the tarantula never had anything resembling what we as humans know as emotions, but she still came out of her burrow and up to the glass when we’d talk to her and used to stare at the drawing I’d tape to her terrarium. Maybe she couldn’t even comprehend what we were, but she knew we were there to take care of her. And even if she never showed that sort of curiosity or trust we’d still love her.

[gay-jesus-probably]

Idk if Munchie the praying mantis felt love for me, but I do know he trusted me enough to climb onto my hand when offered and was comfortable with allowing me to carry him places despite me being absolutely massive in comparison to him. So that's close enough in my book.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

in case you were wondering how things went down at the pokemon world championships this weekend:

-during the top 8 of the TCG masters division, chilean player fernando cifuentes was running a gimmick deck that consisted exclusively of four iron thorns ex and a whole ton of control-focused trainer cards in a strategy that either completely shuts down opponents or shits the bed entirely

-through skillful play and some good luck, fernando made it through 2 days in a tournament with over 1100 players to get to the quarterfinals

-fernando lost 2-0 to ian robb, who was running regidrago vstar (widely considered one of the best decks in the current format)

-in an overexuberant victory celebration, ian did what can only be described as a jacking-off gesture, on a stream with tens of thousands of viewers run by a company with very firm player conduct expectations

-the judges determined that this warranted a penalty of game loss, but for some reason, rather than applying it to ian’s next game in the semifinals, they applied it to the one he had just won in the top 8

-(it should be noted that the prize money for making top 8 is $15k while top 4 is $20k, so this jerking gesture cost ian robb $5,000)

-nearly an hour after fernando came to terms with his loss and the end of an impressive run, he was told that he was to get back on stream because he’s now playing in the semifinals due to winning by default

-the player he was up against in the semifinals was playing a deck (miraidon) that happens to get shut down hard by iron thorns’s gimmick, so fernando wins the semifinals

-said player, jesse parker, had notably had an undefeated run throughout the whole tournament up to this point, and likely would have continued that streak had his intended semifinal opponent not gotten a game loss penalty for miming a lewd act on stream

-meanwhile, the other semifinal winner is japan’s seinosuke shiokawa, running a deck (roaring moon) that players had largely written off as underwhelming months ago

-the grand finals are on the following day, so saturday evening was abuzz with a lot of people baffled by the absurdity of the situation

-come sunday afternoon, the grand finals are set to begin, with fernando cifuentes running iron thorns and seinosuke shiokawa running roaring moon

-it should be noted here that the roaring moon deck doesn’t rely very much on abilities, so iron thorns’s gimmick has very little effect - this is basically an even matchup

-fernando wins the first game of the set, and seinosuke wins the second

-the third and final game of the set is a bonafide cheek-clencher, with both players reaching a state where a single KO will win the game, but fernando manages to clinch it at the last minute

-and that’s the story of how a guy pretending to jork it led to the first instance of a pokemon world champion who also lost the quarterfinals

[fungifunguy]

Funniest shit I've seen all week

[lazylittledragon]

enrichment for the baby rogue

[fungifunguy]

PAINTER ASTARION FOR THE WINNNNN

[zomb13queen]