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@galacticcannabilism
I see your humans are space orcs and raise you that some humans are space floridians.
Some old lady banging on a cave with her cane screaming "get out of there you brute you're not gonna eat any of my pets today!" While an apex predator is huddled in the back of the cave sounding like a frightened avalanche as it tries to make her go away with it's fiercest roars. Her small little pet bird standing behind her feet completely u afraid.
out here rolling for the Most Important Story Reasons
had no choice but to make this
Dr Ryland grace: *comes back to earth and is revealed to have been alive just living on erid for the past like 40 years*
Well and truly absurd humans are space orcs proposal - human and earth life in general are some of the only beings in the universe that can't perceive math. Every other race doesn't have math or numbers because that would be like if we had to invent an unbelievable complicated system to describe the state of experiencing visible light or sound. Everyone everywhere except humans has got a "math organ" and numbers are tangible physical things that can be measured, except measurements are completely foreign to everyone because those are described by numbers which are simply a sense we lack and had to create for ourselves.
Every other race thinks of us as similar to highly intelligent, blind cave salamanders who have learned to develop a horrific party trick where they turn the sense of sight into a nuclear bomb.
suddenly thinking about the courtroom scene, of Stratt being accused of pirating literally everything, and Grace later having everything in the various computers aboard his ship that he gave a copy to Rocky without issue, and the beetles having such a massive memory capacity and...
Stratt was a historian. She wasn't just pirating for the sake of entertainment for the astronauts, she was doing a full historical backup of the planet. Who knows how much knowledge and communications ability, how much art and culture and history, how much niche knowledge of how to make specific pieces of modern technology or modern medicines, was lost as the wars for resources isolated everyone, as the death tolls led to the deaths of specialized trade workers and scientists, as the power grids failing across the planet (or cut off, potentially) led to all the cloud servers going dark. Stratt was facing methods of combating extinction and she did her best to ensure that if/when the Hail Mary worked, it would send back not just the hope of the future in the solution to the astrophage, but the restoration of history and culture and knowledge.
Just.... she pirated everything, and put it all on the Hail Mary.
ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten
Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.
Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch
Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are
I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.
"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen
In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly donât get it. I call it the Pascal Method.
Taylor Swift does this
no she doesnât
You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.
#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic
Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.
The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there
Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.
And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.
love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears
My dad was a public defender when I was a child and he would have to drive all over the district to visit various defendants in various jails which I thought was very interesting and I liked to hear about his experiences in various jails and how different they all were. He drove me to school every day and sometimes Iâd skip in and tell my classmates âMy dad is going to the jail in [TOWN/CITY] today!â mind you, I went to public school in a not very nice little town so my teacherâs first thought wasnât lawyer, she had other students with incarcerated parents. This was also occurring in the south where everyone is nosy as fuck so she eventually called my mother, presumably to scope out why her husband was a jail bird and if the chargers were relevant to me and my education in any way. My mom had to explain that my dad wasnât an inmate who kept getting transferred and that going to jail is his job.
So your teacher called home because she wanted to know your personal business?????????????????
She worded it more like âYour child keeps telling his classmates that his father is going to jail, I wanted to touch bases and see if everything is alright at home.â you know, pretend concern for my social wellbeing. But I know she was just nosy and my mom picked up on that immediately.
My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying
Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"
4 year old me: why must we do this
Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"
4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect
Movement nudge, getting up off the floor!
X
real talk, i saw this other vid 7 years ago where a trainer like this lady gave some of the most important physical health advice I ever heard that changed my life:
#1. You should be able to lay down on the floor (face down or back) and be able to get up without your hands. If you can't? Spend a little bit every day just doing that, laying on the floor and getting up again no hands style, then laying down again (you'd be surprised how fast it wears you out after a few times)
#2. You should be able to get up out of a chair without using your hands or grabbing on to anything. Can't? Fucking start training mother fucker! Just a few uppies every day could save your damn life when you get older!
#3. You should be able to turn your neck to the side without twisting your upper body in the same direction, you should be able to turn your head freely without moving your shoulders, chest or torso! Start looking up loosy goosy neck exercises! It makes such a HUGE difference!
#4. You should be able to motherfucking stand on one foot and keep your balance for longer then 15 seconds. Haha sounds easy right? Thats what I thought when I tried after watching that vid, i was horrified to find how hard it was! I started doing "one leggy style" standing any chance I got, when I'm in line somewhere, when I'm watching a video... just do a few rounds of 10 seconds on each leg for like 5 min every day!
Like for real I work out 3 times a week and walk all the damn time, but damn this advice was so eye opening to younger me
You get older and you think you still have all the same limberness as you did when you were 8, but whens the last fucking time you ran around and played like an 8 year old? You loose that flexibility from crawling around and being all wiggles and rolling around on the floor... and then one day when you need it? BAM ITS GONE. Well fuck that, thats not gonna be me when i'm like 60 plus
Start getting into these habits now, i don't care if you're 18/25/30/45/50 OR WHATEVER JUST START YOU WON'T REGRET IT! Don't think "lol I'm young, shut up olds" cos thats what i thought when i saw that vid at first, but if you don't maintain your body in all these small ways yer gonna wake up at 35 unable to turn your damn neck without moving your entire body above the hips
Rest = Lying Down, Eyes Closed Because other parts of the program from England made sense, I decided to try resting every afternoon. After some experimentation, I determined that the most restorative rest resulted from lying down in a quiet place with my eyes closed. I was surprised at the results from taking a 15-minute rest in mid-afternoon. Even that short break seemed to help, reducing my symptoms, increasing my stamina and making my life more stable. After a while I added a similar rest in late morning. Over time, I came to believe that my scheduled rest was the most important strategy I used in my recovery. Resting everyday according to a fixed schedule, not just when I felt sick or tired, was part of a shift from living in response to symptoms to living a planned life. The experience showed me that rest could be used for more than recovering from doing too much; it could be employed as a preventive measure as well. In the terms suggested by someone in our self-help program, I learned the difference between recuperative rest and pre-emptive rest. Surprisingly, taking pre-emptive rests greatly reduced the time I spent in recuperative rest, because I was experiencing much less Post-Exertional Malaise. The result was that my total rest time was reduced.
sometimes like an idiot i assume everyone has read bruce campbell on resting/pacing to handle post-exertional malaise affiliated with chronic fatigue. that is obviously not true! anyway here's the hot guide, i linked straight to the "schedule in mandatory complete 15 min rest as part of your day and hopefully you will get to do less surprise many hours of rest to recover" section but the whole thing is laid out pretty clearly
grandma ate my fucking pizza
make neccessary corrections
I think it's hilarious that hands down the worst way to learn magic is the actual rulebook. Please do not read that. It's just there for reference when something weird happens
posts that i know are about magic the gathering but i have to check to make sure op isn't just living in a way doper world than me
