I decided to create something that I wish I had when I first got diagnosed with autism - so here’s my comic for ASDComicTakeover!
You can find out more about the project here!
- Two Josh Swains were in attendance. OG Josh, hailing from Arizona
- And Nebraska's own Josh Swain, from Omaha.
(feat. An Audio Engineer doing THE MOST for that sound quality)
-All the local news stations were there
- The majority of attendees were from out of state
- The two Josh Swains battled for supremacy by Rock Paper Scissors duel.
- The victor? Josh Swain, from Arizona. A crushing defeat for Josh Swain, who despite having none of Josh Swain's newfound Twitter Clout, DID have the home team advantage, as well as a Great Look.
- Following the Josh Swain Duel and coronation of the One True Josh Swain, there was an All-Josh pool noodle battle royale
- A brief list of notable Josh Variants I saw in this battle:
Josh Swain (Prime)
Josh Swain (Secondary)
Medieval Josh (full chain mail armor)
Spider Josh (x2)
"Josh Wick" (had pool noodles mounted to two electric drills for spin-attack capabilities)
Furry Josh (A Josh in a fursuit)
Big Josh (A large man with the words "Big Josh" painted on his bare torso, and "Dad Bod" painted on his back. Armed with pool noodle wolverine claws)
Little Josh (A small boy of about 5 years old)
Luchador Josh
Roman Centurion Josh
The rules were simple. Enter the ring and fight honorably (no headshots, no hits below the belt.) If you are hit with a pool noodle, you are dead, having fallen in glorious battle. The last Josh standing would be the winner.
The battle lasted a little over sixty seconds in total. The final victor was....
LITTLE JOSH, THE SMALLEST COMBATANT.
The crowd was going wild. The chanting for Little Josh was deafening. Truly there could have been no better outcome.
pool noodle combat was then opened to the general public, for fun rather than glory.
As for Josh Prime, he seemed like a very cool dude! As of last reporting, he raised $6600 dollars for the Children's Hospital and a truckload of nonperishables for the local food bank alongside the other Josh Fight attendees! He offered masks to any maskless people he met, and did his best to keep things as safe and socially distanced as he could, despite the ungodly amount of people who showed up to this random fucking field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.
(Also for the Nebraskans: Yes he tried a Runza, and yes he says he enjoyed it.)
So anyway. Shoutout to the one and only Josh Swain.
Update on the Ever Given: between the tides and the tugboats, she was straightened out by like...30 meters. The tide has gone back out, so she's not gonna be free TODAY it seems, but they are making progress.
Fuck the idea that all bisexuals experience attraction towards different genders in the same way, all my homies know sexuality is personal and subjective and what matters is towards WHOM you’re attracted, not how
Fun fact: I know exactly who this woman is. I also know who her clown of a husband is, because I’ve met them. Let me break this down for y’all.
For those of you who are unaware, this godawful crossbreed between the wicked witch of the west and a crazy cat lady is Sister Cindy. Her and her asswipe husband, Brother Jed, take a cross-country tour of the US every year. How exactly do they fund this? I have no fucking clue. The point is, every year, they go to every college campus that they possibly can to spout their nonsense. The basic gist of it is incredibly sexist, homophobic, you name it. All across the board, just shitty views and shitty people. Just absolutely batshit insane nonsense. There’s MUCH more below the cut.
These two nutjobs also have their own website, brojed.org. It’s supposed to explain their views, but it’s so poorly designed and incredibly convoluted that no one can quite figure out what the fuck they’re trying to get at. It looks like it was last updated (design-wise) in 1997, and it has so many different articles/tags that I don’t know how anybody could possibly read it all. It’s fucking bonkers. look at it at your own discretion. (Another fun fact: Around this time last year, when I first discovered that this website existed, I found out that if you typed the address into Google and clicked on it in the search results, it redirected you automatically to a site where you could buy boner pills. So somebody spent money on that. It has since been removed.)
They also have TikToks: @/slutshamingsistercindy (yes I swear this is real) and @/brotherjed. Look at these also at your own discretion. These two pop up on the Internet around the same time each year, and now it’s about that time, so right now their TikToks have been going insanely viral.
Long story short, Brother Jed has been doing this shit since (I believe) the late 70s. At some point early on, he headed over to Florida and found Cindy, who was apparently a “disco queen” college student at the time, according to her own recollections of the event. Somehow or another he brainwashed her into going out with him, I don’t know how. He spouted his regular bullshit, and lo and behold, she “converted,” and became the Sister Cindy we know and hate today.
Now here’s the question: How do I know Sister Cindy and Brother Jed?
Picture this: it’s late February/early March of 2020. The pandemic has not yet hit the US, and this TikTok has just gone MASSIVELY viral.
I had seen it, as had most college students– everyone knew her catchphrase, but nobody really knew her name. So everyone just called her “titty whip lady.” 
Well, guess who moseys on down to Texas at this same time each year? Titty whip lady! Sister Cindy and Brother Jed both arrived at my campus just a few days after I had first seen the video and figured out what they were doing. (It was also shortly after they had just been banned from UT Austin for inciting physical violence. They have been banned from several schools for this. Currently my school has not yet banned them, but we are waiting with bated breath.)
So I’m on campus between classes, and I see a huge crowd surrounding a very distinctive squawking voice. Oh, it’s the titty whip lady! I stay there for a couple of minutes and listen to her rant and rave with her husband, who is just as bad of a person, if not worse, about how everyone around us deserved hell. After a while, Sister Cindy took a break and Brother Jed took over for her, because they seemed to go in shifts. As there was a pause and the crowd died down a little bit, some of my friends who were also watching walked over to me and asked me about what I thought of it all.
I went ballistic.
Y’all... I cussed out Cindy, I cussed out her kids, I cussed out her grandkids, I cussed out her ancestors, I left no stone unturned. I said some things about her that should never be repeated in any sort of polite company. I don’t remember exactly what was said, but I remember the general gist of it, which was that Sister Cindy can suck a horse dick.
After I finish my rant, which had to be several minutes long at least, I look at my friends, who all look visibly shaken. One of them is laughing her ass off. One of them looks horrified. The other points behind me.
Sister Cindy had been standing there the entire fucking time as I said this, and listened to every goddamn word that came out of my mouth.
Apparently part of their routine is to circle the crowd like a shark and pick on anyone who seems to be unprotected. Apparently our tiny group of women had seemed like a ripe target, and just as she went in for the kill, I had absolutely verbally obliterated her and everything she loved.
Now, did I take back anything I said? Of course I fucking didn’t.
Guys, I have literally never seen anyone so angry in my entire life. She didn’t say anything. She just stood there silently and then turned away after several excruciating seconds. My friends are still freaking the fuck out, and explain the situation to me. Apparently she had showed up just as I started losing my shit, and they didn’t know how to signal to me that she was there.
So yeah. I don’t know if she remembers me for that.
...................but she might remember me for for all of the things that I did and said, and what they said to me in return.
Here’s a non-exhaustive list:
Called me a whore for wearing leggings.
Called me a sinner for listening to rock ‘n’ roll.
Called me a whore for being a part of a sorority. Their tagline was “soWHOREity girls.” I genuinely want that on a T-shirt.
Said I was possessed by a demon because I supported Pope Francis’s efforts to try and make the Catholic Church slightly less fucked up.
Said I was possessed because I was Catholic. (Note: I only said I was Catholic at the time because I was raised Catholic, and they asked. I didn’t actually give a fuck about Catholicism, however, I am very well educated in it, as someone who was raised in the church for their entire life.)
Called me a foul-mouthed Catholic. Again, I would like this on a T-shirt.
Jed specifically said that I had small boobs and that nobody would want to sleep with me.
Jed also stood uncomfortably close to me in my personal space to try and intimidate me.
“ANUS IS NOT ON THE FOOD PYRAMID”
“You women shouldn’t be in college. You should be in the kitchen providing for your family, like God wants you to. It’s your purpose.”
“She’s only interested in MARGARITAS”
“1 STD, 2, STD, 3 STD!”
“He will insert his PENIS”
“You fags/lesbos/queers/homos/etc. need to quit being faggots”
“These sorority girls and fraternity guys, they all just want SEX”
“In the back of my father’s 1954 CHEVROLET BEL AIR”
“You let him put his penis WHERE? Are you out of your MIND?”
Called me a “fool” and a “blasphemer” as well as various other things whenever they tried to quote the Bible, and I would go “hey, that’s not even in the Bible, nor is it even remotely close to what Jesus would have said”
I blasted Lady Gaga at full volume over them with a speaker, and they just stopped talking and stared at me with pure contempt.
I then proceeded to blare multiple gay pride anthems until my speaker ran out of battery.
Like 50 other things that I can’t think of rn because it’s 3 AM but were equally batshit insane.
And by the way, this is INCREDIBLY tame compared to some of the other shit I witnessed in person and have read about online.
So yeah. I don’t know if they know me, but I sure do know them. And if they don’t know me now... they will soon. Because I’m going to give them hell for as long as they keep coming back while I’m in school here. I’ve got a mental grocery list of what to do once they arrive.
And you may ask yourself, well... how did i get here? Why are you doing this? They aren’t going to change their minds. It’s pointless.
Oh, I know. I know that they’re way past saving. I don’t think Brother Jed has many years left in him anyway, because not only is he old as dirt, he’s admitted to crowds multiple times that he has a “virgin anus” and has never had a prostate exam. I personally bore witness to this. So cancer is a possibility.
To recontextualize this clip:
But I’m not doing it for the sake of making a change, and I’m not doing it for the sake of decency. No, I’m doing it because– I like making fun of idiots.
When I went to Texas State, they were constantly there. The theory is that they get money by posting this on social media, they’re paid by a private org based on turnout of angry people.
also her being lit is going to eventually melt her and reduce her to nothing
match guy is an abusive sadboy who thinks he’s the victim when candlegirl just wants someone who will keep her alive
2087
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
izzy806
theartofmadeline
germansingergirl
areudirty
