UNDER CO.

indie rp blog for BENNY from FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS. loved by puck. revamped feb 2023.

[gameriigged]

#GAMERIIGGED. an independent, selective, private rp blog for benny from fallout: new vegas. established 2019, revamped february 2023. minorly under construction as i finish setting things up. personals dni. 18+ only. memes never expire.

loved (begrudgingly) by puck. she/they, 23.

DOC. PINBOARD. PLAYLIST. AESTHETIC SIDEBLOG. USFW SIDEBLOG.

blogroll beneath the cut.

@spiritdreamt - persephone potter, medium. fandomless oc. most active.

@bearsrelic - v. cyberpunk 2077. semi-active.

@contrariian - multifandom multimuse. low-activity.

@atrellas - kay atrella, jedi knight. star wars oc. low-activity.

@puckrph - meme resource.

[gameriigged]

@cheatdeaths // con't from here

"ma?" now there's a woman worth remembering, even for benny. "she used to be chief." beautiful and harsh as the desert she called home, shrewd and always carrying the interests of the tribe above all else. "bingo challenged her for leadership 'cause he thought she was giving me special treatment. said she'd gone soft. the fink got lucky." bullshit, and everyone knew it. but the reason didn't matter; a challenge was a challenge. and bingo winning was proof enough that maria didn't deserve to lead anymore.

just like benny sticking a knife in the fucker's neck was proof he didn't deserve to lead anymore, either. he's told six as much—it's how the chairmen became the chairmen, after all. benny reaches down to tap the holster where his 9mm rests. "maria ain't just called that because she's got our lady painted on the grip, you know."

[gameriigged]

@cheatdeaths​ said: did you have a good relationship with your father?

HE'D SCOFF IF HER QUESTION WASN'T so damn sincere. benny ashes his cigarette, glancing at her. "never knew him," he answers truthfully. the mojave is a cruel mistress; it took his father before benny was ever born. a radscorpion sting halfway through maria's pregnancy, if old dorothy was to be believed. you're your mama's spitting image, benito, the old crone used to tell him from around a mouthful of pipe, but you have your papa's spirit.

but benny doesn't like dwelling on the past, especially not when he's sober. maybe some night he'll tell her the whole sordid tale over a glass of whiskey, but not now. "but don't go pitying me now, doll. i'm sure he was a swell guy, but i never missed him. nothing he could've taught me that someone else in the tribe didn't." and that's where he'll leave it. he takes another drag, exhaling the smoke away from her—he can be a gentleman, when he wants to be.

misc. prompts

[ashsources-deactivated20230215]

POCKET POETRY PT. II. an rp meme containing quotes from poetry and literature that i've saved to my phone over the years. feel free to change the language of each sentence as you see fit. part one.

'i killed a plant once because i gave it too much water. lord, i worry that love is violence.'

'also, i wanted to be able to love. and we all know how that one goes, don't we?'

'you have survived so much that no one remembers.'

'i want it to be my fault so i can fix it.'

'be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where i cannot find you!'

'i know my life's meaningful because i'm a good friend. i love my friends, and i care about them, and i think i make them happy.'

'i've gotten so good about not flinching at the sound of your name that people don't know i'd still throw myself, mouth open, into the ocean for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.'

'how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else? before it's some kind of murder?'

'i would have died for you, but i never had the luck.'

'i have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine, and the rage the likes of which you would not believe. if i cannot satisfy one, i will induldge the other.'

'your childhood hunger is the one that never leaves you.'

'this is my problem - i want other people to tell me how they feel, but i'm not so sure i want to return the favor.'

'i had a feeling there was something wrong with me. i guess i was a mystery even to myself.'

'the trouble with letting people see you at your worst isn't that they'll remember; it's that you'll remember.'

'some days i am brave, but other days, i almost disappear.'

'horror should have buried me. it didn't.'

'i want to be myself, again. i want to stop knowing everything i know.'

'the life of a body is a nightmare.'

'the ways i sometimes want both to be looked at and to disappear.'

'you listen, and you know you could live a better life than you do - be softer, kinder. and maybe this year, you will be able to.'

'you do not have to be good. you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.'

'in the beginning, i was so young and such a stranger to myself, i hardly existed. i had to go out into the world and see it and hear it and react to it, before i knew at all who i was, what i was, what i wanted to be.'

'as it has been said: love and a cough cannot be concealed. even a small cough. even a small love.'

'out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field - i'll meet you there.'

'you will live as you live anywhere. with difficulty, and grief. yes, you are dead. but what does it matter? you still have to go to work in the morning. you still have to live.'

'it's 4 am, and the smell of cigar is gone. so is the ghost. i should sleep, now.'

'the ache for him is stronger than my anger.'

'i want to speak of something not dead or divine.'

'am i supposed to be grateful to have survived this?'

'i like people too much, or not at all.'

'today, the world looked beautiful again. i'm starting to remember what kept me alive last summer.'

'sometimes i think i must enjoy suffering. but i know i'd really prefer something else.'

'i can't be gentle, or loving, or tender. i have to be strong. what is the cure?'

'i want you to hold the knife, but i don't know what i want you to do: plunge or mercy. i deserve both. i want to hold and be held.'

'i felt both wildly, piercingly glad to be alive, and also like i did not know what to do with the life i now held in my hands. it was as if someone had handed me the moon, and what does one do with the moon? what does one do with a life when one had expected to be dead?'

'self destruction felt unbelievable - until i got older and learned how to make pain feel like home.'

'we can never go back. i know that now. we can go forward. we can find the love our hearts long for, but not until we let go of grief about the love we lost long ago, when we were little and had no voice to speak the heart's longing.'

'i'm strangely tired. not from having talked so much, but at the mere thought of what i still have to say.'

'no one can ever figure out what you want, and you won't tell them.'

'to feel anything deranges you. to be seen feeling anything strips you naked.'

'i lost myself so long ago that i'm hesitant to try to find myself. i'm afraid to begin. existing sometimes gives me heart palpitations. i'm so afraid to be me.'

'i want to be good. i want to navigate this hate in my heart somewhere better.'

'i'm so busy. i'm practicing my new hobby of watching me become someone else. and there's so much violence in reconstruction.'

'sometimes you get so close to someone, you end up on the other side of them.'

'all my grief says the same thing - this isn't how it's supposed to be. and the world laughs, holds my hope by my throat, says: but this is how it is.'

[mcflymemes]

MISCELLANEOUS SENTENCE PROMPTS *  collection #3

we can’t stay here.

i’m not here to be spoiled.

how should we go about this?

that’s a spatula.

you should get behind me.

is that a serious question?

that’s what i’m trying to do.

cover me.

have i ever let you down?

i can’t think straight.

i guess i’m out of practice.

what kind of music do you like?

how many people have you been intimate with that you actually loved?

you’re just telling me something i already know.

if anyone needs their rest, it’s you.

i can only assume your life has been rather lackluster without me.

i appreciate that more than you know.

i really enjoy the person you are today.

i’m not accustomed to the cold.

did you just drop my phone? is it cracked?

give me a second. i need to sit down.

where have you been hiding?

you look incredible.

that’s a lie and you know it.

you are a work of art.

we should go on vacation.

how did they find us?

you’re mocking me.

the world isn’t very kind.

i have pictures i could send you.

oh, good, you caught onto my bitterness.

you could have just led with that.

fools will be fools.

i’ve seen you on the news before.

is there a reason you asked?

and now we’re being followed.

it’s pretty nice up here, isn’t it.

if you need any help, just let me know.

perhaps we’re imagining things.

you’ve got better aim than i thought.

i thought you knew everything.

i’m not used to it.

you broke my door!

mind if i join you?

i yearn for quiet holidays.

fancy seeing you here.

i hardly think that’s necessary.

do you have a gun on you right now?

give me your phone.

i’ll try not to be too offended.

you could have called.

i like when you smile.

you’ve got a deal.

are you blushing?

that was the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard.

i thought you were supposed to be hard to find.

trouble always seems to find me.

i need your help, old friend.

i miss the cold weather.

you don’t need to thank me.

it’s just me.

that was cruel.

i deserved that.

i suppose it’s too late to say no.

we’ve all got a past. some are better hidden than others.

are you trying to tell me how to live my life?

what you did took guts.

no, that’s not what i meant at all.

i wanted to be closer to you.

it used to be cheaper.

you have powers, don’t you.

you’re a bad kisser.

that wasn’t supposed to happen.

sorry for startling you.

make sure you keep me in the loop.

did you hear anything else?

should we get moving?

do you want it? free of charge?

you’re just trying to hide the fact that you missed me.

was this always your goal?

i don’t want to put words in your mouth.

did i find you at a bad time?

did you have a good relationship with your father?

please keep your pants on.

we’re closing in on our suspect.

could you get it working again?

if you would take a second to actually listen to what i just said.

are you asking me to pick a favorite?

i wish i could unsee things.

you go that way, and i’ll go this way.

what accent is that?

can i kiss you?

i’m just happy they sent someone nice.

i think you would make an excellent dance partner.

keep telling yourself that.

the picture’s crooked.

hang on, i’m taking a picture.

you never let yourself relax.

we mock what we love.

i trust you. i always do.

i really wish you would ask first before taking that.

[contrariian-archive]

thinking about how benny’s attempted coup is as much out of love for the strip as it is because of his ambition. like he wants to be in power, he wants to be the driving force for change because he likes it & he’s always been the one to shake things up (there’s a reason his card is the joker, just saying). but he also loves vegas, and he has this idea of what vegas should and can be, and he thinks that the only way it’s going to achieve its full potential is if house, the ncr, and the legion are out of the way.

[rylandgraces]

A Most Violent Year (2014) dir. J.C. Chandor

[contrariian-archive]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓  𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂  𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌  𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓  𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐊  𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄  𝐀𝐑𝐄  𝐘𝐎𝐔  ?

MEDEA.     you are medea from from the argonautica by apollonius and medea by euripides. you are ambitious, ruthless, and unforgiving in getting what you want, and unapologetic in your self-preservation. the truth is, you have let your romantic ideals get the better of you before, and time and time again you have had to relearn how to build up those walls and thorns that guard it. the only person who can protect you is yourself, and you have learned that the hard way. sometimes stoking that fire of hate and anger in your heart hurts more than whatever you’re fighting against.

[contrariian-archive]

HEY, LITTLE SONGBIRD — BENNY & SIX

for @spakona​

wishbone, richard siken // you killed me on the moon, blow // love slowly kills, adrian borda // andy virgil // young man in america, anais mitchell // candles, daughter // queen of the rodeo/roses are falling (official music video), orville peck // candyman, christina aguilera // blank space, taylor swift // a most violent year (2014) // you know me too well, nothing but thieves // off to the races, lana del rey // cat’s eye, margaret atwood

[contrariian-archive]

logging back into here to drop This while at work <3 i blame @cheatdeaths

blank version beneath the cut

[gameriigged]

yeah new tag dump :)

[gameriigged]

haha what if i,

[gameriigged]

contrariian‌:

PSA! hey guys! just so you all know, i’m going out of town for tomorrow and saturday (i’m seeing beetlejuice in nyc with my uncle) & i’m not taking my laptop, so i won’t be able to do replies on here! i’ll be back on sunday probably, maybe saturday (but i’m also supposed to hang out with friends saturday night, so… we’ll see).

[gameriigged]

cottonbelles‌:

【 💣】— Judy, the local bartender of the Prospector Saloon, side-eyed the two with the amount of suspicion as any regular citizen from a small town would give two people who obviously weren’t from there, before leaving their presence briefly to prepare their order.

        “Cottonbelle~” the courier introduced, noting the extra caps that Benny had given the bartender. Man this guy must’ve been loaded, who even bothered tipping anymore, let alone that much? She couldn’t wait to get him out of here.

        “So then Benny, what’s a sharp-dressed man like you doing in a town like this?” She had to admit that someone this loaded, by himself, and not afraid to flaunt the money he had, was raising some red flags here and there. This guy was obviously the city type, so why was he out here?

          No guards, no armor, no decent weapons on him that could fight off anything that wouldn’t take an entire clip of that 9mm he had carrying, it made her wonder how he managed to get past Freeside intact, let alone how he got all the way to Goodsprings. Whatever he was going to say, she was going to take it with a pinch of salt.

       ‘ cottonbelle ,  ’   he  repeats ,  though  it’s  hardly  difficult  to  pronounce .   ‘  fitting .  ’  now  came  the  real  game :  keep  her  from  getting  too  suspicious .    he  knows  he  should’ve  put  on  a  different  outfit ,   but  he’s  too  vain  for  his  own  good  and  he’s  partial  to  this  jacket ;  it’s  in  better  shape  than  anything  he’s  ever  owned .

      ‘  truth  be  told ,  doll ,  i  just  missed  the  road .  ’   a  blatant  lie .  he’s  about  the  only  chairman  who  doesn’t  miss  the  old  ways .   ‘  some  old  friends  and  i  decided  to  wander  for  a  while .   we  made  camp  outside  of  town ,  but  i  was  the  only  one  who  felt  like  coming  down  to  get  a  drink .  ’   that ,  at  least ,   is  a  little  more  true .   the  khans  ain’t  his  friends ,  but  they  did  make  camp  outside  of  goodsprings .   ‘   figured  i  could  leave  my  armor  behind  and  that  the  most  protection  i’d  need  would  be  maria  here .  ’

[gameriigged]

atcmbcmbs‌:

A tease, yet she finds herself not surprised. Feigning hurt, Evangeline gasps as her hand clutches over her heart and she leans away from him. It’s all in good fun, though she can’t deny the twinge of disappointment from not getting an honest answer. She pouts to further sell the act. “You wound me.”

Sticking around is near impossible, but not any less tempting. She can pop by at any time - especially if she’s needed - but there’s too many places she’s required to visit. With luck to share, and people to spare, she does so much more than sit and look pretty. For him and his fascinating stories though? Evangeline will make time to visit this casino specifically. Not that she’ll let him know it that easily. 

“Oh, I don’t know, dear… I’m awfully busy.” Her chin rests in her hand as she sighs regretfully. It wasn’t a lie in the slightest. Soon that sparkle begins to dim as do all the promises with it, threatening to disappear forever if not revived. “Is there anything here worthwhile for me to return to?”

        ‘  should  i  kiss  it  better ,  doll ?  ’    a  broad  smile  accompanies  the  question ;  it’s  a  joke ,  and  it’ll  remain  a  joke  unless  she  makes  a  move .   he’s  not  going  to  do  something  foolish  and  scare  her  off ;   she’s  too  rare  a  gem  for  that .   even  the  prettiest  dames  tend  to  show  the  slightest  signs  of  wasteland  life  ⁠—   a  smudge  of  dirt  here ,  a  scar  there  ⁠—   but  her ?   she’s  PRISTINE .   he’s  willing  to  play  her  game  for  a  chance  at  her .

        her  question  doesn’t  quite  send  him  scrabbling ,  but  it  DOES  mean  he  has  to  think  fast .   what’re  the  chances  she’s  a  spy  for  house ?   because  if  the  big  man  catches  whiff  of  what  benny’s  got  going  on ,  his  goose  is  cooked .   forget  taking  control  of  vegas  ⁠—   he  won’t  escape  with  his  life  if  house  decides  he’s  too  dangerous  to  keep  around .  still . . .   he’s  done  stupider  things  for  pretty  girls .

‘   worthwhile ?  baby ,   i’m  the  king  of  this  casino  .   i  can  get  you  anything  your  pretty  heart  desires .  ’    but  something  tells  him  that  this  won’t  be  enough .  that  hunger  in  him ,  it  seems  like  there’s  something  similar  in  her .  alright ,  then ;  he’ll  give  her  a   little  taste  of  what  he’s  got  cooking .   ‘  but  if  you  do  stick  around ?   i  got  a  feeling  i’ll  have  vegas  in  the  palm  of  my  hand  soon .  ’

[gameriigged]

TRUTH IS, GAME WAS RIGGED FROM THE START

[contrariian-archive]

INDIE & SELECTIVE MULTIMUSE || LOVED BY PUCK

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