normalcy will not save you

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[fucxingcuties]

[rnismatch]

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

[mtfoss]

I'm fucking sippy juice

[hospitaliers]

What doesn’t kill me gives me kinks that are difficult to explain

[hospitaliers]

Damn dude at least give me a vowel

[todaysbird]

had a dream last night where i bought a hawk at a flea market for $20. when i pointed out that 1. i don't have a space for a hawk in my apartment 2. i don't want a hawk my roommates were like "bro its $20....get ittttttt or you're so gonna regret not buying that hawk"

[todaysbird]

needed this perspective

[yossyislandd]

the white house is such a stupid name. if i were president the first thing i would do is call it the pussy pavilion. the second thing i would do is unleash the bugs of the night

[anti-potato]

sources? a little birdie, et al. (2024)

[bwooom]

going to someones blog and they have their pronouns listed as "dey/dem" and youre like "oh ok neopronouns i havent heard of before" but then you start scrolling through deir blog and dey exclusively post in an exaggerated mafia goon voice and now you're genuinely unsure if dey use they/them but spelled it funny as part of the bit or if dey use neopronouns which are an extension of the bit

[izzy-mccalla]

rip mythbusters you would've loved destroying cybertrucks

[monster2001]

[easel-eisel]

you should probably worry about the wraith as well

[audarcy]

Found several packs' worth of pokemon cards strewn across a target parking lot and took a pic to show my friends without realizing how much my outfit elevated the scene to "aftermath of a wizard duel"

[tentacleteapot]

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

[charl0ttan]

thats not how they told it

[sundayafternoonsurvivor]

[weekly-eons]

[fleshdyke]

you cant fucking hurt me bitch im protected by the migratory bird act

[juney-blues]