Garak Is Gay

Julian loves his gay lizard soulmate

[thesituation]

i'm in a discord server where some 30 yr old is in the vent channel every other day having a crisis over whether theyre abrosexual or omnisexual or a bi lesbian and i want to tell them that it does not matter and they are working themself up to the point of panic attacks over a problem that can very easily be disappeared but i would probably get shunned for being Unsupportive and i don't want to lose access to all of the pirated software links in that server

i think people like that would be one of those medieval monks who agonized over the order of the trinity or the eternal vs mortal nature of christ but they were born in the 20-21st century and similarly decided they need put great personal spiritual meaning into things that mean absolutely nothing

[gayarashir]

I remember people getting so mad when someone was like “lollol why’d you call it A Bro Sexual?” But like. You named it!

[dogpuppy]

[nonbinarynow]

Reminder that you don't have to call yourself AMAB or AFAB. You don't have to say "I'm AFAB nonbinary." Saying "I'm nonbinary" is enough. You don't need to identify with what you were assigned as by some doctor however many years ago. Mentioning your ASAB is scarcely relevant to most conversations, even those about medical transitioning.

Nonbinary is enough, you don't have to supplement it with a binary system of any kind. It doesn't matter how many people want to know your "transition direction." It doesn't matter how many people want to know what your genitals are (which wouldn't be alluded to by your assigned sex anyway). It doesn't matter how many people what to binarise you. It doesn't matter how many binary people you confuse. No one needs to binarise you. Nonbinary. Is. Enough.

[towerologia]

[gayarashir]

There’s this academic on the social medias I love who absolutely refuses to disclose or preempt conversation about their gender with their ASAB and I admire them so much. They get so much shit for it and told they’re stealing valour but all they’re saying is mind your own business

[that-satireguy-deactivated20250]

I think I'd be more willing to listen to anti-transandrophobia posters if so many of them didn't seem to have a weird fixation on hating everything that makes transmascs happy?

Like don't get me wrong, I do have an issue with their politics. But also like. Why do you ignore transmascs in all contexts except for making pages of posts on why their kinks are bad/wrong, why their identities are bad/wrong, why their musics, their poetry, their names are bad/wrong.

I mean you have made your intention of not wanting to be present in transmasc-inclusive communities clear. Why do you need to spend so much energy trashing everything they like?

I mean I can hardly think of a single anti-transandrophobia poster who doesn't have at least 10 posts on anti-forcemasc content, making fun of tmasc names, making fun of tmasc music or just general art.

Its like they can't even hide where its coming from.

[gayarashir]

I got into a fight with someone about the music thing, I was fully willing to take the transphobia but like “haha ukulele is an inherently bad instrument for people who suck” isn’t funny to me and I wanted to poke at it. Whew I got a lot of hate just a wall of noise as if I’d said I eat IRL living babies for every meal.

[yaoi-orc-pussy]

just straight up mask off transandrophobia. this post was made by a cisgender woman

[dreadfulman]

Not even the point but there's something so funny here about concluding that forcemasc is uniquely toothless when a large chunk of current forcefem on this site is just cute fluffy gender affirmation but kinky. That is fine I don't think kink being used for cute fluffy gender affirmation is bad, I get it, but it's extremely funny to insist that "it's toothless" is a complaint unique to forcemasc when you can apply that to not only a lot of forcefem but large swathes of several other kinks

[dreadfulman]

It is genuinely fascinating how many feminist cis women, including those who are on paper openly supportive of trans people, struggle to actually think about trans men as a concept.

A few months ago I ended up having a very long talk with a friend of a friend. She told me that she'd never really spoken to a trans man before, the only trans people she knew were trans women. There was a point, after the third time I reminded her that I was a man, that she just sorta of slotted me into her mental box of "man", and I could tell that happened because after that point she started trying to explain things to me as if I was a cis man.

I categorically do not "pass" and likely never will. I'm very short, my hips are prominent because I'm fat, I keep my hair long, charitably I could be said to have a baby face, I have D-cups and cannot bind due to spinal problems. To the majority of cis people I do not "look like a man".

But for the rest of the conversation I had with this friend of a friend I had to keep reminding her of how other people are going to view me, because there was no room in her mental idea of "man" for a man who is not treated as one. This was not malicious on her part, she was very nice to me, and I believe her when she says she wants to support trans people. I do not think she was lying when she told me how horrified she was to learn about how her trans woman friends were treated.

She said she was envious of me going out alone and how I need to understand that's a facet of male privilege and I asked her to look at me and explain why I'd be any safer. She was shocked to learn that I've been catcalled, been assaulted, that I regularly get spoken down to by cis men, shocked to learn I don't have a single transmasc friend who hasn't. She couldn't understand that I'm going to be treated the same by misogynists as any fat cis woman who doesn't wear makeup. There was no room in her feminism for trans men, because there was no room in her understanding of gender for men who are not cis.

We ended up talking about politics. She told me she was terrified of abortion being banned, and that this would never be a threat if men could get pregnant.

[frogsandfries]

I think, if I'm understanding, that I share the perspective of this friend of a friend:

I've known one single trans-man, only at the very beginning of his transition (just coming out, but they didn't go much further). If I have encountered others, I guess I may not have been able to differentiate "trans" from "butch"?

I don't really have a division/classification for "men" versus "trans-men", like I've had pressed on me about "women" and "trans-women". I'm not asking total strangers for their gender identity; I have/choose to make assumptions based on presentation (to go off on a tangent here, wouldn't it be nice if we didn't feel it was necessary to classify people by gender so that we have this pre-existing template for how to treat them? Unfortunately, it feels necessary to differentiate, because I need to know if this person might potentially be dangerous to me). I also don't really have a separate classification for butch women; they just get classified with women. So yeah, again, to be insensitive, I don't have a classification for trans-men

From the perspective of a fem-enby, while trans-women are loudly and visibly othered, trans-men (who pass) seem accepted in a positive way. It seems that it's more honorable for a woman to want to be a man than a man to want to be a woman.

But I also think (if I'm understanding correctly) that I agree with OP: Feminism needs to evolve.

Feminism is supposed to be good for everyone. It's supposed to be good for cis-men because men can be stay-at-home dads or work in childcare or be nurses and that shouldn't make them lesser. It also shouldn't put them on a pedestal for doing things that they should be doing in their lives anyway. Feminism is supposed to be good for trans-women because trans-women should be able to pee in peace and just exist as humans.

Trans-men should be able to benefit from feminism as well. They should be allowed to exist wherever on the gender spectrum they would like to. They should still be able to live their lives without feeling like they have to Perform Masculinity.

[dreadfulman]

Alright I'm saying this as gently as I can because I do not know how much you agree with your own statement here.

"Trans men (who pass) seem accepted in a positive way. It seems more honourable for a woman to want to be a man"

This is categorically a kind of bonkers view of how a cis-centric society views any kind of transness. By your own admission you don't really know any trans men so I'd like to take this opportunity to say that this kind of vague assumption that we must automatically have it easier in some capacity is the kind of unthinking dismissal of our experiences that I'm criticising in my original post.

While any binary trans person who passes as a cis person of their gender is able to gain some extremely conditional privileges, basing your understanding of that identity's experiences on that small, situational group is not helpful. For every trans man who is lucky enough to pass and be praised for it, there are a hundred who run the range from forcibly closeted as "misguided girls", to socially punished for being "failed women", to being ostracised by communities who see them as predatory degenerates and sex traitors.

If we pass, if we perform cis masculinity to a degree near parody, we might "earn" a very conditional kind of manhood. But a cis-centric society does not regularly see it as honourable for a woman to become a man, a cis-centric society sees us as delusional, ugly failures of our assigned sex.

The violence we face is often handwaved as violence against women and thus unknown, or dismissed utterly as it often is for any marginalised men and thus lost. Our invisibility is not a shield, it is the erasure of our personhood and experiences. It is not easy for any trans person to escape the perceptions society places on us, and when our perception is as something that should be a woman, the punishment is often silencing.

[gayarashir]

I’ve seen a lot of “well you can understand why someone would become a woman women are beautiful but men ew” from people who are overall trans accepting.

[fall-of-efrafa]

we did NOT have a period of discourse about how 'if trans women don't pass as women, but they do pass as men, they don't pass as men - they pass as 'queer' or 'other'' for yous to fucking go 'if trans men don't pass as men, which they're privileged for if they do, then they pass 100% as cis women, which they're privileged for when they do'

like SHUT UPPPPPPP I DID NOT PASS AS A CIS WOMAN EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS A DYKE/TRANNY/QUEER. I NEVER PASSED AS 'WOMAN' I PASSED AS 'FREAK OF NATURE'. I WAS BARELY TREATED LIKE A HUMAN BEING LET ALONE A WOMAN

[fall-of-efrafa]

like people make that joke like 'why go to a doctor for an autism diagnosis over years when a highschool bully can do it in 10 minutes' and like that's my exact experience of being a trans man. since primary school i got bullied for being too boyish by girls and boys alike, teachers knew i was distinctly Boy in a not-just-a-tomboy way (cos 'just' tomboys never got the same flack i specifically did). and i'm british so we had school uniforms so i didn't dress particularly 'boy' and cos my parents were still buying all my clothes without my input i didn't dress very 'boy' anyway. that only happened when i was 14 or so (where it all got worse, too).

like, no one was surprised when i initially came out as a lesbian, cos of course i was a lesbian. look at me. then, no one was surprised when i came out as a trans man, cos of course i was. look at me. but coming out as a trans man didn't immediately stop people treating me like a woman/girl, either. i was Just A Tranny. i was a freak. i wasn't girl enough and i wasn't boy enough. my actions of being a 'manly woman' made sense but they were not enough to be seen As A Man.

even as an adult who passes as cis 100% of the time (given i don't take my shirt off or something) people still clock me as queer. i've been told my mannerisms are not very 'man' except for certain contexts. my voice is still higher-sounding, i speak from my throat most of the time, i never did voice training. i've been told i 'talk like a woman' with the words and phrases i use (and the logic i use. which is. baffling. but whatever)

like, even when i pass as cis, i don't pass as cishet, i pass as queer, i pass as different, i pass as strange. i am uncanny to cis men who have extended conversations with me. and i passed as strange as a young girl repressing her transness and trying to be a girl fully. women have always said i am 'different' to other [cis] men cos i 'get it' even without letting them in on me being trans. i have never been 'cis' to anyone; i have always been distinctly different, my gender a big ??? to strangers who have longer conversations with me; not woman enough, not man enough. people always know something is wrong. people have always known i am queer, and a lot of them were a stone's throw away from knowing i am trans.

[fairuzfan]

I will forever find it funny the way Americans are so scared of "Chinese surviellance" like bro you live in THE surviellance state

[squarehammermp3]

We don’t have a social credit system.

[actuallytodojewski]

we have a shitty healthcare system and to make any large purpose you need to have debt. china absolutely has its own stuff going on but acting like everything is a-okay here is kinda stupid.

[squarehammermp3]

This post is about surveillance. Last time I checked, that was not the same thing as the healthcare system.

[fairuzfan]

We have a social credit thing here in the US that prevents me from getting jobs and making friends and having a healthy life except it's invisible and called racism, ableism, and islamophobia

[afro-elf]

[castledvania]

how the fuck is it the year 2025 and you wholeheartedly believe there is a way for any country on earth to track the social behaviors and patterns of 1.4 billion people?

every single time you fearmonger about something chinese it’s usually some shit thats actually very american. worry about yourself bitch

[gayarashir]

Right! Like did you know landlords are supposed to report every time you pay your rent on time to the credit score folks? America is not a serious country

[jewish-tutter]

someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old

[rizaoftheowls]

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

[rizaoftheowls]

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

[galaxy-of-great-possibilities]

thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated

[ahs-memes]

is the amish version of a vibrator putting sugar water directly on your clit and sitting spread eagle in the fields, waiting for the hummingbirds?

[thatcupidmf]

Oh, to be a handsome young navy man in 1930 with curly hair and dirt on my nose on my break from hauling cargo from the shipyard, reading a Little Blue Book titled Homosexual Life that I bought for 5¢, pretending not to notice the banker’s son eyeing me in a truly sinful way.

[sweetlangdon]

…Killer likes to cut off ears.

Xavier wears an earring

Our boy is fucked. 

[ahs-memes]

guys stop youre giving hot topic too many Ear Necklace ideas

[c3rvida3]

Simply cannot get enough of these nasty little guys.

[creekfiend]

Oh TERRIBLE

[whitmanic]

Like the thing is is like I get people not liking reddie because they'd be the most unprogressive gay couple ever like. They DO call each other slurs but also they're deeply in love and also they're sometimes queens but never at the same time. They're like Eddie voice : I'm ur wife tonight and richies like okay but only if I can be YOUR wife tomorrow night

[whitmanic]

[gayarashir]

monkeys paw: he becomes a household name but only bc of a meme dunking on his crypology vid

[mamidlo]

Kalluzeb wedding day please

[catofillomen]

truly gay and iconic of doctor julian 'ilya' devorak to conclude that the best way to kill himself so he can reach the realm between life and death is to be publicly tried and hanged for murder instead of literally anything else

[gayarashir]

julians are just like that

[ppaarraassaauurroolloopphhuuss]

[aflo]

Boy Where Me God Damn Body Warsh Is