C’s Gender Journey Journal

Age: 25 she/they This is a personal blog for me to journal all my gender thoughts. I’ve been having trouble exploring my gender and my therapist recommended I make a journal. Some stuff will be explicit. And all of this is going to be very personal. Please keep that in mind

[wolfertinger666]

i love not being a sex negative reactionary freak unlike the people that piss themselves over me in anger

[wolfertinger666]

"Salem your portrayal of non op transmascs are too evil and horny"

Kay. 1, I look like that, 2, suck my (hypothetical) dick and balls

[wolfertinger666]

i hate the idea that drawing trans people especially non passing trans people/trans ppl with clocky traits with desirability and sexuality is seen as evil, especially parroted by leftist who still hold onto puritan beliefs about sexuality.

it's extremely transphobic to me that us trans people cannot express ourselves without being policed to hell

[wolfertinger666]

reblog this version please:

but I feel like the biggest thing that comes with the weird negativity towards my transgender art is the fatphobia and racism, but ESPECIALLY fatphobia. fat characters should be allowed to be depicted with a sexuality.

[drchucktingle]

how about no

[drchucktingle]

posted this four months ago but tonight as buckaroos like mamdani sweep elections i will post again. hope this is sign to all establishment goofs that trotting to the center is not the move. protect the buckaroos who are in perilous circumstances and do not give an inch

[lucifer-usurping-sun-of-dawn]

given all the rising transphobia and shit, we should remember that white trannies are still relatively safe and will be able to endure more escalation more easily, we're not at the top of any shit list even if we near if, trans women of color however are very vulnerable, and we need to remember they're our sisters, not our shields

[lady-viccy]

First time I opened the notes on this the latest reblog was "stooooo this is causing infigthing!"

Second time was "also men!"

Fucking stop.

Stop being so fucking fragile and just support black transfems. Can you do that? For even 5 fucking minutes?

[creacher-feetcher]

Black Trans Travel Fund

- Tabytha Gonzalez, Recipient

Here's a pretty good organization that does this type of work!

The Black Trans Travel Fund is a Black trans-led collective rooted in self-advocacy and mutual aid for Black trans women globally, our mission is to provide travel support, connect communities internationally, and establish paths towards ​opportunities, safety, and success.

[deejwalker]

Keep thia post in support and circulation till the link doesn't work. Till we don't need it anymore. Till you're blue in the face.

[genderjourneyjournal]

Gender Journal Day #439

Date 11/5/25

This is a personal journal about my gender journey my therapist recommended I make. Mostly about gender stuff but also anything else. Feel free to keep reading but keep in mind it’s going to be my unfiltered, personal thoughts.

So Halloween passed. I wore a little witch outfit and no one blew up. My dad seemed awfully supportive of me wearing a dress. Especially after he said he’d “wouldn’t believe it seeing me in a dress”. I talked to him about it. I think he just needed time to adjust. So that’s good. I think he’ll come around

I’ve also recently been in a haze of not being sure if I’m a girl. But the dysphoria has also been worse than normal so I think it’s dysphoria

[touhouweed]

2 more years and itll be a whole decade since I walked into lil rock planned parenthood and asked for estrogen

Looking back on it still blows my mind, I heard all these stories of people needing to go through so many hoops to get on hrt, I was certain it would be a long process that my family would find suspicious...

so imagine my surprise when I just sorta

walked into the first ever appointment i ever set up with a dr on my own in my life and walked out with estrogen and spiro in my bag

it still feels surreal tbh, looking back on it....

[touhouweed]

Transition is more possible than you think, dont be afraid to go for it!!

[vurrkit]

PT11 of my lgbtqia+ graphic designs/edits!!

Reqs open as always, just req through my ask me thingy (or strawpage!!) n' I have over 100+ variations of these on my pinterest! I also have a couple drives for pfp use!!

Pfp/Icon drive for sexuality/genders: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-KeanlRDZAqOflVMY92lZVigGSrBaYNj

Combos: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1hS0IzeBns6Wu--RqmHypKZ90zOWnkCw8

[genderjourneyjournal]

Gender Journal Day #412

Date 10/8/25

This is a personal journal about my gender journey my therapist recommended I make. Mostly about gender stuff but also anything else. Feel free to keep reading but keep in mind it’s going to be my unfiltered, personal thoughts.

Well, I came out to my parents and sister. My mom was supportive and even offered to take me bra shopping and teach me makeup. Unfortunately my relationship with her is tenuous so I probably won’t take her up on that. My dad didn’t go over so well.

He took a day to think it over. Then the next day we went for a ride together. He started laying into me. He doesn’t get it. He was calling it “some social thing”. He thinks I’m just doing it because I don’t know where I want my life to go. That I’m just “throwing darts at the wall to see what sticks”. He even told me “I’ll never look like a woman”. I told him that hurt, but I was otherwise mostly quiet. I didn’t know what to say to change his mind.

I’m so fucked up right now. I wish I never came out at all. Maybe being seen as a pervert was better than this. Does anyone know how to go back in the closet?

[genderjourneyjournal]

Gender Journal Day #404

Date 9/30/2025

This is a personal journal about my gender journey my therapist recommended I make. Mostly about gender stuff but also anything else. Feel free to keep reading but keep in mind it’s going to be my unfiltered, personal thoughts.

Every day I get closer to blurting out that I’m trans to my parents. I’m not ready to come out but the time is coming soon. Or maybe I’m more ready than I think?

I’m going to go over coming out one more time with my therapist on Thursday. Then maybe I’ll feel ready. Or maybe I won’t who knows?

In other news, I think I’m getting sick. BUT I have a new psychiatrist appointment scheduled. So yay me for being on top of things

[punkitt-is-here]

the way transgender women convince themselves that their only other allies in this world are other transgender women is really sad

[punkitt-is-here]

the idea that there is one group of people that you will only ever find sanctity in and every other group of people on the planet is just waiting to betray your trust is just. Fucking!! Sad!!! It leads to so so so much self isolation because the myth of The Only People You can Trust as a TGirl Are Other TGirls gets perpetuated so often by women who have been hurt and see it as an innate truth rather than the product of circumstance

[catboybiologist]

I saw the smoke from this fire a mile away on other people's blogs and sites, but you're honestly 100% correct.

This is not "blaming trans women for our own misery". This is not telling trans women to abandon their safety. It's a tragedy that things are this way.

But we're seeing a LOT of misery in trans communities right now (and, I'm pretty sure, a lot of it is deliberate from the outside), especially from trans women. There are people out there who love and support you.

Remember my post about solidarity between cis women and trans women? Remember the stories that people put there? Stories of friendship, hope, protection, safety, and community.

You're not just "a transwoman". You're a transgender woman. A woman. A trans person. A member of your community, your neighborhood, the environment around you. There are people out there who will love you. You have to find them.

And again, I'm going to restate that I think some of this is being promoted by transphobes and bots. I've seen an uptick in self flagellating misery in trans online communities recently: more talk of "failed transitions", more people convinced that every cis person wants them dead in sight, more suicidal ideation. And each instance of it perpetuates more of it, from actual humans.

I'm not saying that things aren't rough. I'm not saying to not protect yourself. I am saying that more people love you than you know.

[roach-works]

hey so i want you to imagine you had a really big and inconvenient box in your bedroom that you always had to navigate around. and you were always knocking your knee into it and it wasn't the right height to use as a desk but it was too big to use as an end table and it kept you from putting your bed where you wanted it and it smelled kind of weird if you got too close. and this was your life, your whole life, knocking around this stupid fucking annoying fucking painful fucking box.

'what's in this box, anyway?' you would ask, and everyone else in the house would say, 'that thing's not supposed to be there, we don't have one,' and you'd say 'cool, but it's too big to get it out the door. it won't fit. i tried.' and everyone would just shrug and say 'well, that's your problem then.'

and you'd say, 'so what's in the box?' and everyone would just say 'you're not even supposed to have that box.'

anyway one day you open the box and it turns out what was in it the whole time was a version of you from a future where you're happy. and you sit there looking at your curled up fetal future of happiness, and everyone in the house stands there at the door and stares at you in horror.

and they all say, very worried now, 'you're not supposed to have that box. none of us have a box like that'

and you say to all of them, 'well that's your problem then,' and you let your future out.

and that's what happens when you're transgender.

[alexfeelyx]

if there are any late bloomers like me here:

sometimes what happens is that you have a pretty big room and the box is off to one corner of the room so you don't really notice it that much. but as you grow, you accumulate more stuff and you need to use more of your room and it starts to get in the way

and it takes you many many years to even start thinking about the box, because it's not like you stub your toe on it every day, right? but it does get to a point where you finally open it up, and yup, there's your little future curled up in there

and you don't really know what to think, because on one hand you starte at it, bewildered, like — this was here all along? this was an option??? I could have had this ages ago???

and on the other hand, would you rather have been forced into a smaller room where the box would have been more in the way, so you were forced to open it sooner?

and hopefully, if you're like me, the other people in your house are happily helping you open your box and saying things like ‘ohhhh you had this thing in there all this time? damn, that explains so many things about you’

[sandersgrey]

If youre really, really unobservant, it's like a box on your desk that you didnt even know was there until one of your friends told you about their box.

And then you find it under your bed.

[blackjame]

I do have to say the "I only care about trans healthcare and transitioning when it comes to minors" was always going to lead to people coming for trans adults. It was never about protecting kids. It was about ignorance. It was about control and opposition to the idea of transness as a whole.

And people saying "I said as much and got called alarmist. now look" are 100% right to do so.

Many marginalized people get dubbed alarmist and overreacting until the reality we warned about arrives.

Even supposed allies keep falling for these so called sensible, apolitical, and centrist ideas that are nothing but part of a powder trail that leads to a keg.

Some of you really thought dishonest people would be honest about their intentions instead of cloaking them under things like tolerance and being misrepresented.

It's foolish. Stop trying to find common ground with these people. If you do you're as lost as they are.

[punkitt-is-here]

Seeing a lot of the doomsayers on the most recent post i made about being trans that are convinced they have objectively seen the harsh truth of the world through years of experience and I check their profile and they're like. 22.

[valentinedagger]

something i would really, really like to get through to the large pool of younger folks who transitioned during covid, genuinely from a place of sympathy and caring, is that being trans only feels so horrifically alienating right now because we're being shoved onto the frontlines of a culture war.

i'm nearly 30 (so still extremely young, myself) and i've been openly dualgender for a long time. as in, medically transitioning, out-and-living-as-both-genders, can't-pass-as-either because i've got the body/facial hair and voice and fat distribution of a man and the banging double-H-cups rack and full luscious mane of a woman (according to how societal norms say men and women look; personally i think all those traits are ungendered). and my life has gotten a lot more socially stressful over the last handful of years; when i was out in the 2010s, i faced significantly more medical access barriers to transition care, but significantly less social alienation and felt significantly safer in public life. hell, before 2020, there was an active, thriving, well-loved transgender art and music scene locally—and they're still here! things are harder, money is tighter, bigots feel more enabled and people are meaner, venues have closed down and groups have been left adrift without meeting space, but the people (some of them cis!) who made beautiful, enriching, caring and communal trans life possible are still here, and we're working to bring that back.

it sucks! but it's in flux. i've experienced a lot more transmisogyny recently than i ever have before in my life, i'm being constantly thrust out into the public eye in malicious ways to serve an agenda, but that... isn't inherent to being trans. that isn't even how societal transphobia feels and works all the time. but i think it feels like it, if you came out in the last five years and you're in your early 20s or younger. it's the only version of transness you've ever known, and that sucks and it's unfair and cruel, but i do want everyone reading this to know, if they don't take literally anything else away from this, that it is not the ultimate fate of transness. that if you can find the people who are working to create a better life where you are, you can help, and we can do it.

[toothmuncher3000]

viewing queer identities as “this is the label that makes me happy and feels most accurate now” rather than “this is who I am, was, and always will be” will definitely take the pressure off, friends. changing your mind is proof that you have one.

[muzzlesbian]

WE FINALLY GOT A PROGESTERONE STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!

Addition of Progesterone Leads to Increased Breast Growth for Transgender Women | Amsterdam UMC

The addition of the hormone progesterone to gender-affirming hormone therapy leads to increased breast growth for transgender people followi

this is extremely exciting. progesterone's effect on breast growth has been under-studied for so long and as a result has stopped a lot of transfems from getting on it. this could potentially be a game changer in a great way. i'm shaking. holy fuck.

[animentality]

[melonisopod]

[acecream-and-cake]

[puppygirlpregnancyscare]

tme people will do anything to blame transfems for what people say to us

[puppygirlpregnancyscare]

"oh turn off anons, don't have messages, stop saying things, cut yourself off from the world, remove yourself from society so men won't harass you" like yall realize you are inches away from telling a woman she deserves to be raped for how she dresses

[puppygirlpregnancyscare]

it should not be an expected prerequisite to avoid harassment to isolate yourself from anyone and everyone and the fact that it's expected of women and especially trans women when men are the ones choosing to hurt us, choosing cruelty, choosing to assault us. i might be out there for saying this but i think men are responsible for their actions and the main reason to peddle this kind of nonsense is because they know they're being cruel and don't want to face the social consequences for that, and if you agree with them erasing their agency or do it for them you are complicit in their cruel acts

[puppygirlpregnancyscare]

I LIVE HERE TOO I EXPERIENCE THE SAME WORLD AS YOU AND I FEEL PAIN LIKE YOU DO AND I CHOOSE AS MUCH AS I CAN KINDNESS EVERY DAY WHY DO YOU GET A FREE PASS WHILE I MUST REGULATE MYSELF TO "AVOID" YOU COMMITTING VIOLENCE AGAINST ME WHY ARE YOU ARE ENDLESSLY PERMITTED TO DIRECTLY ATTACK WOMEN WHO YOU DEEM HAVEN'T "DEFENDED THEMSELVES ENOUGH"

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

witnessing a surge of trans infighting at a time when our rights are under violent, organized government attack that threatens to set back 40 years of progress:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

watching social media pit transmasc and transfem experiences against each other

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

seeing fellow trans people get tricked into arguing with each other online, meanwhile the government wants to compile our legal identities into a national registry: