That's a boundary for this blog btw, in case that isn't clear. Don't tag my posts as q slur/q word etc. I am not using queer as a slur. It is my identity. If you can't accept/respect that, please don't reblog my posts
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@genderqueerdilf
That's a boundary for this blog btw, in case that isn't clear. Don't tag my posts as q slur/q word etc. I am not using queer as a slur. It is my identity. If you can't accept/respect that, please don't reblog my posts
Just saw a post for a 'genderqueer pal' flag that was meant to be a neutral alternative to genderqueer guy/genderqueer girl I guess??? And like. I don't wanna clown on that person bc I'm sure it's helpful for them, and obviously you can totally be a genderqueer guy or a genderqueer girl. But like. Genderqueer is already neutral and outside the binary??? Wtf is it with people making things that are already outside the binary into a binary and then being like 'oh no we need a gender neutral version to make it into a trinary'?? Literally the whole reason I use genderqueer in the first place is because it doesn't refer to the binary at all, @ fellow trans people stop reinventing binaries what are you doing I don't understanddddddddddddd
TERFs and other transphobes/transandrophobes acting like AFAB people only start identifying as trans because they hate the oppression that comes with being a cis woman are especially funny to me, a trans and genderqueer person who identifies as trans in a large part *because* I can't relate to the way cis women experience oppression/misogyny
Hyperempathy and low/no empathy ppl are best friends and comrades
Ye! And sometimes we're the same person!
rb and put in the tags your username without using the middle row of the keyboard
(image description: four glittery genderqueer flags with white text. The text reads "Genderqueer looks like me. Genderqueer can look like any body. Genderqueer bodies are good bodies. Genderqueer bodies are beautiful.")
Girls love me because I am cute and autistic
Girls find me endearing because I can't figure out social cues so there's always something Off about me
Girls are attracted to my bizarre creature sounds I occasionally make
This is actually why I made this post, to show that people DO actually fall in love with the parts of yourself that others find unattractive
Fell in love with my husband in general, and then after being married for a year or so, he started opening up his walls and lowering his mask.
Now, he is able to display so many of his stims and sounds and babble about his special interests and have conversations that jump around and around and shitpost.
And I love him all the more for it.
I PROMISE that your autistic traits are loveable, and anyone who makes you less isn't worth your time.
https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2022-05-04/most-transgender-children-stick-with-gender-identity-5-years-later-study
[Image description: Text that reads “But to dig deeper, Olson and her team focused on more than 300 children who had undergone a social transition.
About two-thirds were transgender boys, meaning boys who had been assigned a female gender at birth; about one-third were transgender girls.
Solely on the social transition front, Olson noted that over five years only about 7% of the children transitioned back at least once.
By the end of the study period, 94% of the kids continued to identify as the gender they had embraced when first socially transitioning. (That figure includes the just over 1% who had at one point re-transitioned back to their birth gender, before then returning back again to the gender to which they had initially transitioned.)
Of the 6% who did not stick with their initial transition, a little more than 3% described themselves as non-binary by the end of the study period, while just under 3% said they identified with their birth gender. (Identifying with one’s birth gender was notably more common among kids who had socially transitioned before the age of 6.) “Interestingly, we are (italics) not (end italics) finding that the youth who re-transitioned in our study are experiencing that as traumatic,” Olson noted. “We’ve been finding that when youth are in supportive environments — supportive in the sense of being OK with the exploration of gender — both the initial transition and a later re-transition are fine.”
Indeed, “socially transitioning youth are [simply] making the same ‘decisions’ that cisgender children are making, in that they are seeking clothes, hairstyles, names, accessories, activities and playmates that reflect their gender identity and the resources in their community,” said Matt Goldenberg, a psychologist in adolescent medicine with the Seattle Children’s Gender Clinic.” End description]
@a-captions-blog
"Genderqueer" as a label is so fucking cool because it's really for everybody
Know that your gender is Not Cis, but you don't really know how to quantify it with conventional labels? Genderqueer!
Know that you are cis, but your gender and/or expression feels more complex than the cisheteronormative views a lot of society has? Genderqueer!
You're a binary trans person who likes the label? Genderqueer!
You don't want to spend a ton of time explaining your complex gender to anybody who asks? Genderqueer!
You just want a quick, convenient label? Genderqueer!
You don't want a specific label at all? Genderqueer!
Just like the queer counterpart, genderqueer can mean a lot of things! It is meant to be inclusive and encompassing to many experiences. There are no rules to queerness, just be happy and be authentically you
And if you don't want to be associated with the word "gender" in any way, you can strip it down to the root, queer! "Are you a man or a woman?" "I'm queer." *walks away*
Since you’re anti-psych, do you think that your autism is a disorder that you have, or do you just use the word autistic as a descriptive word?
If it’s the first one, isn’t that contradictory? Isn’t the whole anti psych movement about accepting that everyone’s brain is unique and shouldn’t be pathologised - and so, disorder words like autistic are the same as non-disorder descriptive words like confident or kind?
Do you think autism is a discrete category (you’re autistic or you’re not) or a spectrum that we’re all on (everyone is a little bit autistic). Do you think autism is inherently disordered, or does it become disordered when you reach a certain threshold of distress/impairment. Is the category defined by distress/impairment? Looking for your opinion, not what’s in the dsm/icd
Sorry for all the questions :)
I am autistic because that's my neurotype, my autism isn't a disorder.
I don't talk for other autistic people, some feel their autism is disordered and that's fine. I think it's a personal, individual thing.
I am anti psych because I am against the current institutions of psychology and psychiatry. You should read up on the neurodiversity movement tbh
If I can add my two cents in answer to another of anon's questions:
Do you think autism is a discrete category (you're either autistic or you're not) or a spectrum that we're all on (everyone's a little bit autistic)?
First of all, anon, like a lot of people do, you've gotten the idea of spectrum wrong - it's not a line we're all on from a little autistic to very autistic, but a grab bag of traits on a colour wheel, where some autistics have more of some traits and less of others. But to answer your question, I personally don't think either is strictly true (like most things, it's not a strict binary).
Essentially, autism a label for a wide variety of traits, usually including traits from two extremes (e.g. hypersensitivity or hyposensitivity, high vs low empathy etc), and if you're autistic you have a large amount and variety of these traits (obviously if you're getting medically diagnosed there's a few specific areas your traits have to fit into), but regardless, if you identify as or are diagnosed as autistic, you have a wide variety and number of so-called autistic traits.
So that's being autistic. But how do you quantify how many traits you have to have, or how severe they have to be, or which areas of your life they have to affect in order for you to have enough, or be affected enough, to be autistic?
The psychiatric establishment tries to do this - Aspergers, ASD and PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) were once three separate diagnoses, now they all come under autism spectrum disorder. The diagnostic manuals for ASD specify specific areas where autistic traits must have a (negative) impact on your life in order to qualify for diagnosis (for my diagnosis process in the UK I believe they looked at three different areas, in the DSM I think it's slightly different - there might still be 3 main areas but I think there are subcategories within those?). All this is based off information shared with the diagnostician by the autistic person being diagnosed and their family, and ultimately it's based off the diagnostician's opinion on whether this information fits under ASD. It will never, can never, be objective, no matter how well-informed a medical professional is about autism and how it presents.
This doesn't just affect medical diagnosis, it also affects self diagnosis, because while self diagnosis has the benefit of you, the actual person who the diagnosis is about, actually knowing why you behave in certain ways and can relate them to autism criteria, you also can't ever be fully objective about yourself or your view of the world. This isn't me being anti self dx AT ALL, by the way - this also applies to people who would never even consider themselves autistic even though they definitely are, whether that's because of their view of autism or the view of themselves and their (lack of?) struggles.
And therein lies the problem. Autism is a group of traits, a certain amount and severity (for want of a better word) of these traits makes someone autistic. But that can never be objectively quantified (unless, God forbid, they somehow invent a brain scan that can detect autistic brains. It hasn't happened yet).
So then you have autistics, but you also have autistic cousins - people who also have autistic traits (and might have a separate diagnosis or identify with a separate label) but for whatever reason, never identify with or are never diagnosed as autistic. Those who would have previously been diagnosed with PDD NOS but don't quite qualify for ASD, the ADHDers who maybe have something else going on but maybe ADHD explains it all, people with anxiety disorders which may or may not be partially/better explained by autism, older adults who would never have been diagnosed as children and probably won't be seeking a diagnosis in their old age, people who have an autistic neurotype but have been accommodated for well enough that there life isn't adversely affected by their autistic traits and so never seek a diagnose or self diagnose, and even people who have a few autistic traits (i.e. human traits) but would otherwise be considered neurotypical.
This last group are usually the people painted as saying "everyone's a little autistic" and the autistic community usually counters that by saying, essentially, that autism is a discrete category, a spectrum of traits, yes, but one that only includes Actual Autistics. I get this, it's a very tempting argument to make and to neurotypicals learning Autism 101, it's a good albeit simplified way of explaining why not everyone is "a little autistic". But I think we do a disservice to all of the people mentioned above, including those who might only have one or two autistic traits, by discounting it excluding their experiences. Autistic traits are human traits, and anyone at some point in their lives might need support or accommodation for a particular trait of their brain/personality.
Autism is a useful way to label a certain neurotype and find community with other people that identify with that neurotype, but that's all. It doesn't inherently include ("everyone's a little autistic") or exclude ("you're either autistic or you're not") anyone. It's just a neurotype/label that you may or may not identify with (and perhaps to a greater or lesser degree).
Sorry I didn't mean to write a whole essay haha, I hope any of this makes sense.
"straight passing privilege" "cis passing privilege" "the privilege of being stealth" oh, you meant the privilege of being in the closet? Closeted privilege? Because that's what that is.
Yes there are certain advantages to being closeted/invisible/passing as straight and cis, sometimes. But they're not inherently privileges. Please can we reframe this?
I think 2016-style "Men's rights activist" misogyny really did a number on our ability to talk about gender online in ways that we have yet to fully unpack.
At this point everyone is so jaded from dealing with those trolls that any time a men's issue of any kind is brought up the kneejerk reaction is "ugh, this again! Reverse sexism doesn't exist!" even if nobody said anything about "reverse sexism."
That's how we got into a situation where a statement like "trans men and tranmascs face specific struggles and prejudices. Maybe we should have a word for that so we can talk about how it affects us" sets off the MRA Troll Alarm and gets everyone on the defensive.
Yup. Say “hey I don’t think we should be body-shaming men especially because most of it is just fatphobia and transphobia and intersexism and those are bad regardless of target” and suddenly you’re an incel.
Oh, hey, an opening to talk about my second most controversial opinion, that men do in fact suffer from gendered issues and that the shitty terrible men's rights movement shouldn't be allowed to erase that.
Time for anecdote: back in the dinosaurs roamed the earth years, I (a cis woman because it matters here) was on a forum and ended up starting a thread for men to talk about issues that affected men, because some men had said they wouldn't feel comfortable starting a thread like that. A lot of men jumped in and started talking and it was--eye-opening.
They talked about the way they had to perform their gender roles around other men, because they'd get endlessly mocked if they ordered a slightly girly drink. They talked about how they had to perform their gender roles around women, because anecdata had taught them that even if a woman said it was all right for a man to be emotional, she'd change the way she treated him if he cried in front of her. They talked about concern and confusion about their sexualities and the way it was often framed as predatory. They talked about how hard it was for them to make close friends or show emotions, how they had to police their own fashion, how platonic love wasn't ever seen as an option for them.
There were guys in there who said things I disagreed with and guys in there who painted women with a broad enough brush that it made me defensive and I don't remember all the details, but it was genuinely humbling to listen to these dudes talk about their experiences as men, what being men meant to them and how hard it was sometimes to be a man.
All that story to say, I think men (in the very broadest sense of the term) should be able to talk about the gendered issues they experience! And, as a treat, I think they should be able to talk about those experiences without having to 'acknowledge their privilege' or act as though they are lucky to be allowed space for their concerns. They shouldn't have to reveal whether or not they're cis either!
And when men have a concern, they shouldn't need to couch it in terms of trans men or their own transness to be able to talk about it. They shouldn't have to talk about their race or their sexuality or their health to be heard, as if we're all playing marginalization bingo and the person with the highest score gets to have their issues acknowledged as real. People should be able to say 'I'm a man and this is an issue/concern/experience I have specifically because of that' end statement no qualifiers needed and people should be able to acknowledge that as a real issue.
I see so many posts that are like 'some of you need to remember that when you're talking about men you're also talking about trans men' and I think we, the collective we, should maybe instead say 'the way some of y'all talk about men is messed up.'
because otherwise I swear people end up making posts with the thought process: 'well if I just remember to exclude trans men, in a way that /totally/ makes it sound like I think they're still men, just not, you know, the /bad/ kind, I can be really shitty towards a group of people! Hurray!'. There are people out there who really want to learn the rules of harassment like a D&D rules lawyer, trying to find the group of people they're allowed to fat-shame or mock or just plain hate.
I don't have a good ending for this, it's just a long, somewhat connected rant. If you're a man reading this, the issues you experience due to your gender are not trivial and deserve to be acknowledged and addressed.
@sheepgirlwizard for that anon to read
All trans people are not either transmasc or transfem and I need some of you to destroy that binary in your head, please and thank you.
I hope the next trans person who crosses paths with count-incel full on bitchslaps them with a trans pride flag
I'm not sure why but thinking about that scene happening brings me great joy
Oh can you imagine how quick he would get his ass kicked at pride?
i refuse to attend pride, actually. i don't want to go to an event that's so sexual and full of fake trans people
@queerautism YOU CALLED IT SHSNNSNSJEB
Ahfjdksl FUCKING KNEW IT
Fully just sitting in his 5-person discord echo chamber getting mad that other trans people don't hate themselves as much as he does
For an aro-allo vibes song, Rebecca by Against Me! It’s a bop anyway lol, but it’s also explicitly about someone the singer is infatuated with in a non-romantic way (“Rebecca kiss me, but let’s not fall in love”) Very aro-allo vibes to me
AROALLO AGAINST ME! SONG??? anon you've made my day
bi women are women who like men in a gay way. wont elaborate
and bi men are men who like women in a gay way. dont ask questions
no youre right. youre absolutely right
i think the worst form of ableism is definitely “everyone around them has it worse.”
it’s when you look up “how to cope with delusions” and the top 10 articles are how to cope with someone else’s delusions. here’s Google’s chosen result, if you dont believe me look it up yourself! (and btw - “how to cope with my delusions” and “how to cope with my own delusions” come up with the same Google’s chosen results.)
this stupid shit has made me believe that no matter how traumatizing my delusions could ever be to me, the people who love me have it worse because of my own mental illness. no matter how scary it is for ME to actively lose my memory, it’s more inconveniencing to other people can it ever could be to me. how DARE i lose my fine motor skills, what about my loved ones and how they feel about it? how the fuck is this an acceptable way of viewing mental illness and disability? the top results for how to cope with ANYTHING should never be from an outsider’s view looking in.
i do not exist to be silenced by guilt and a non-psychotic’s need to feel comfortable around me.
i could say more but that’s enough anger out of me tonight