you coughed after that puny bong hit? I am going to kill you
styofa doing anything
hello vonnie
ojovivo
dirt enthusiast

★

shark vs the universe
Three Goblin Art

if i look back, i am lost

pixel skylines

⁂
RMH
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Love Begins
Peter Solarz
d e v o n

No title available

#extradirty

JVL
we're not kids anymore.
No title available

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@generalshucks
you coughed after that puny bong hit? I am going to kill you
i enjoy shamelessly normalizing medications. i enjoy saying things like “give me a couple of hours, my meds haven’t kicked in yet” and “sorry, my meds have worn off and im not feeling great” in normal conversations regardless of the company. ive never met a single person who talks about their medications, and i enjoy just dropping comments that make it seem normal.
sometimes I feel I’ve got to
run away
“Man should stop being—or becoming—a rational animal. He should become a lunatic, risking everything for the sake of his dangerous fantasies, capable of exaltations, ready to die for all that the world has as well as for what it has not. Each man’s ideal should be to stop being a man. This can only be attained through absolute arbitrariness.”
—
Emil Cioran
Look no further; this is the only life advice you will ever need.
apparently some nazi group posted this and how is that not the most relatable thing ever?
People who make u feel dumb for loving hard and being passionate are dumb and boring
Those stories like “car thief steals car without realizing baby in back, returns baby safe” “burglar finds cp stash on computer turns guy in”
And everyone is always so shocked and amazed but like. It really shows how much we’ve tied morality to legality. Legal corporations exploit and harm people every day and we’re all used to is. A petty thief has normal morals and everyone is like shocked.
Amazing fact but ... ppl who turn to crime to survive don’t suddenly become feelingless sociopaths and tbh I’d rather hang out with “blue collar criminals” all day than the top brass of any one company wtf because chances are I’ll find better ppl among the car thieves lmao
My favorite story is the one where a sexual violence crisis center was broken into and all their computers stolen. Then a few hours later the thieves broke in AGAIN and returned everything with a note: “We’re sorry. We had no idea what you guys did.”
the correct spideypool dynamic is ryan reynolds’ wade and 40 yr old peter from spiderverse no i do not take criticism
This will never not be funny to me
So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.
So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day
A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”
I live for this commentary fam.
#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in
never have i ever unloved you
Should I grab my banjo and do a cover of Old Town Road or what
OK!
i was sitting with a bunch of cis people at lunch who think i’m cis and they literally had an entire conversation on how “nowadays you can’t tell who’s transgender” while i there wearing a trans pride flag t-shirt
answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation
scam caller: hello, how are you today?
me: great!
scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.
me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though
scam caller: what?
me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?
scam caller:
me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?
scam caller:
me: I was just wondering, is all
scam caller: why did you answer?
me:
me: what?
scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?
me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.
scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.
me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal
scam caller: my goal?
me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.
scam caller: well, can I scam you?
me:
me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?
scam caller: yes. can I scam you?
me, baffled: sure, you can try
scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer
me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.
scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.
me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.
scam caller: You answered today.
me: …touché?
scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.
Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K
you’ve got beautiful eyes, i wish i could look into them all day