Just me and randomness

The blog of a 28 year old Aussie who might be a little obsessive with F1. Total fangirl!

[poetic]

Guys buying their girlfriends tampons.

I’M CRYING

[dinolaur]

i wasn’t paying attention to the names and read this like one dude’s journey down the tampon aisle 

[jinzlers]

Option C: an adventuring party of four, all messaging the same questgiver

[stephencolbertly]

Colbert: All The Other Reasons Trump Is A Bad President

[hamtastrophe]

it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence

[bigthecat]

did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine

[the-itchy-bitchy-spider]

basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he’s a prophet or a saint because he’s got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia’s queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son’s haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, ‘cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now  (allegedly) belongs to. 

then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and it’s helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesn’t die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn’t die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn’t looking, and he doesn’t die, but they think he’s dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he’s gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn’t die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn’t go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this…. he died…. of hypothermia.

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.

[w0wls]

Rasputin was an old god from times before humans

[mad-duck]

He is like a cleric gone wild

[godlessondheimite]

“did rasputin do something problematic” i am going to die

[mapelie]

😂 😂 😂 shits fuckin wild

[merishoma]

Rasputin was just a trickery cleric

[chasingpegasus]

[severussnapedamagedlove]

[twelvesclockworksquirrel]

I think “Congratulations on finally getting your diagnosis” cakes need to be a thing.

[twelvesclockworksquirrel]

I bet you all thought I was joking…

.

.

.

.

I never joke about cake.

[twelvesclockworksquirrel]

My OP is suddenly getting a shit-ton of reblogs and I’ve been sitting here all day thinking “you guise are all missing the best part!”

Like, yeah. Diagnosis cakes should be a thing. So goddamnit I made it a thing for myself. You can too.

You deserve a cake.

[monkeymeghan]

As someone with a rare and relatively unknown condition, I wholeheartedly agree!! (Superior semicircular canal dehiscence)

[whosays75]

Thank you Queen Minttu.

😴💤💤

[mysharona1987]

The French always know how to expertly diss people, tho.

[santners]

talk abt mark webber circa 2010-13

2010 Mark Webber was peak Mark Webber. That championship was his, he deserved that championship and would have won it if he had been treated even close to equal, let alone as number 1. “Not bad for a number two driver” is the most iconic radio message and it gets slept on. He had his front wing removed from his car to give to his teammate and the team still expected people to believe the drivers were equal ????

2011 was 2011, but hey, 10 podium isn’t bad. 2012 was a hot mess for everyone involved and Mark deserved better. He could have gone to Ferrari, the contract was written, the seat fit had taken place, Mark was ready to sign but Ferrari weren’t willing to make it 2 fixed years and I feel robbed. ROBBED. Mark is a driver who could have and should have driven for Ferrari. He was consistent in qualifying and in racing and was a great asset to any team. He rarely made rookie errors and could defend like an absolute beast. The less I think about 2013 the better

Shit drivers don’t just stumble across championship battles and two (2) Monaco wins, so therefore I conclude that Mark Webber was robbed by Red Bull, slept on by fans and I should stop writing essays on him.

[santners]

#im gonna need more details about that front wing incident…. i didnt know that….

The year is 2010, it’s the British Grand Prix and Red Bull have brought a new aero package, which includes a new front wing. They only have two though, one for each driver. Vettel manages to damage his at the end of FP3, prompting the question of “What now?”. So like anyone would do, Christian Horner decides that they will take the new wing off of Mark’s car to put it on Vettel’s, meaning Mark now has the old spec wing for qualifying and the race. Mark was understandably not happy about it, ranted to the press and voiced his displeasure at signing for the team for the next season. It was the action that caused the “not bad for a number two driver” radio message after he won that race.

And that my friend, is the front wing drama of 2010

[markwebberaus]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[fishyandclintbarton]

Pretty sure that only Brits of a certain age will get this one. I’ve been laughing for about an hour now.

[graceking]

[markwebberaus]

He’s irresistible 🤤😍

[mickuschumi]

am i the only one crying already

[one-time-i-dreamt]

The only thing that makes this article funnier is the fact that it is a real story and not something from The Onion

[iorekandhissilvertongue]

The best thing about this, is that our dude kicked off that they used his picture, the website turned round to Getty images, and was like “hey, some dude piped up, and isn’t happy we used his photo, can you check his waiver was signed and everything?”

And so Getty checked up, and went back to them like “so the name of your guy doesn’t match the name of our model.”

[ilovejevsjeans]

Shout out to whoever decided Dan needed to do a big arty showpiece while shirtless, by literally taking a big leap to announce he was joining Renault.

(Those fucking abs  😍 😉 )