How To Set Yourself On Fire

[insomniac-arrest]

why are ghosts always person-sized in the movies? they don’t have bodies anymore. one of ‘em should have figured out how to work that shit. one of them could be … her 😳

[thedogeveryonehates]

kind of a milf. reblog

[asharomi]

[rcktpwr]

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

[ceeberoni]

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

[fwippy]

interesting dates on this post

[mercurys-in-retrograde]

let the contemporary record show mr beast was pretty ignorable for his whole career if you were just like, busy.

[ceruleanheaven]

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

[parakeet]

Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

[marzipanandminutiae]

posts that could have also been in a newspaper in 1910 on a slow day

[tatzelwurming]

was about to make a post saying “putting the word berry up on a shelf” in response to seeing two -berry posts in a row but then i realized how meaningless and cruel that would be for me to say

[animentality]

[alfgifu]

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[gh0stienj0yer]

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

[gh0stienj0yer]

posts that make you want to get in the water

[tallymali]

what am i being advertised here exactly

[zolltraak]

[sickbrokenangel]

[sickbrokenangel]

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING RESPONSE IVE EVER GOTTEN ON ANY OF MY POSTS EVER

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[sailermoon]

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

[getbutts]

I love humans so much i see myself in everyone I meet I think “we are all just walking each other home” then one of yall cuts me off in traffic n honks at me flips me off

[crimsonclad]

I saw a bumper sticker and thought “is that seductive Daffy Duck” and then when I looked closer I realized it was actually a fishing bumper sticker but also. also it is still very much seductive Daffy Duck???? somehow????????

[worriedyourwingswouldmelt]

“let’s run away together” trope fucks me up bc it’s almost always doomed. but what if it’s not this time.

[msbarrows]

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

[senatortedcruz]

I hate Elon musk so fucking much

[senatortedcruz]

Exactly!!!!!

[maryfitzroy]

as joyce carol oates once said, “the poorest persons on twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the ‘most wealthy person in the world.’”