I miss the time I spent losing my mind over Tumblr smuts and not stupid men
DEAR READER

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blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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JVL

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement
seen from North Macedonia
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seen from Türkiye
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seen from Australia

seen from Netherlands
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@getoslittlemonkey
I miss the time I spent losing my mind over Tumblr smuts and not stupid men
Addicted - Michael Kaiser (18+ mdni)
Kaiser stayed sprawled on the bed, head still pillowed on your thighs, but his smirk had sharpened into something darker. His kisses had moved from playful nips to something heavier, hotter, more deliberate. He shifted, turning fully onto his stomach, spreading your thighs apart with his hands like he owned the right to. And the way he looked up at you from between your legs, smug, yes, but also glassy-eyed, reverent, made your chest clench. “Your thighs,” he murmured, pressing another kiss to the sensitive skin there, “your sounds, the way you squirm for me,” His teeth grazed you again, just enough to make you twitch. “You’re unreal, Schatz. Perfect. I could stay here forever.” Then, without breaking eye contact, he pressed his mouth lower. At first, he didn’t rush. His lips found the outline of your heat through your panties, pressing soft, wet kisses there like he was making out with you. Slow, deliberate, teasing. The warmth of his breath seeped into you, the pressure of his tongue flicking lightly against fabric until you whimpered. You pushed your hips up, needing more, but Kaiser pinned you with a low chuckle. “Patience,” he purred, dragging his tongue flat against you through the thin fabric, savoring. “I’m gonna take my time. Taste every fucking bit of you.”
Imagination - ex!Miya Osamu (18+ mdni)
He wasn’t looking for you. Truth be told, he never really had to. You just kept slipping back into his life in ways he couldn’t control, sometimes through a passing scent on the train, sometimes through someone ordering a dish you used to eat, sometimes through your picture hitting his screen like a punch to the gut. Like tonight. Osamu leaned back in the office chair in his closed-up restaurant, phone heavy in his palm, the glow of your new post sitting there. A bathroom mirror shot, simple, careless, nothing dressed up for anyone. But your hair framed your face in loose waves, your lips had that soft pout like you were annoyed at something, and the neckline of your black dress dipped just enough that his mind went places it shouldn’t. “Fuckin’ hell…” he muttered under his breath, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. He should’ve scrolled past. He should’ve. But Osamu wasn’t built for pretending. Not when it came to you. You’d always had that pull on him, the kind of pull that made him grind his teeth at two in the morning wondering if you were out with someone else, the kind of pull that made him cook three portions of dinner even after you were gone, muscle memory refusing to give up. And here you were, younger than him but looking grown in all the wrong ways, leaning over a counter like you knew exactly what it’d do to him. Like you knew he’d picture your thighs pressing against the cool counter, your mouth tipped up toward his ear, breathy little laugh spilling when he told you not to play with him.
hello!!! i love a fwb dynamic and snarky, outwardly cold tsukishima in that dynamic and your fwb!tsukishima. do you have any more thoughts on how that develops? who confesses first? how does it happen? does he get jealous?
i enjoyed that piece a lot. thank you!
you liked itttt? ah that means so much<3 and yes, anon, something about fwb!tsukishima is just so hot and interesting. here's how i feel the plot would build upon this piece:
By day, Tsukishima is the world’s worst friend. “Why are you chewing like a horse? Close your mouth, it’s disgusting.” Or when he'd say, “Those jeans are brave. Not everyone can pull off looking like a stuffed sausage in denim.” Or when you're sitting together in class and he comments, “Do you actually understand the assignment or are you just nodding along like you always do?” And yet, when you snap back saying, “At least I’m not emotionally constipated, Kei”, he smirks, satisfied. Because to him, friendship is verbal sparring with you just to see you lose it. He’d rather roast you till you say you hate him than admit he likes having you around.
"Left Swipe" - Shidou Ryusei
A Shidou Ryusei fic inspired by this tweet? Yes.
a/n: shidou is so nasty and i absolutely love him for it.
Mein Mann <3
You hadn’t meant to say it.
You really, really hadn’t.
You were sitting at the dining table with your mom that afternoon, casually practicing German out loud, more to amuse yourself than anything else. You’d been working on stringing together simple sentences, and most of them were clumsy, stitched with English when you forgot a word. Your mom had been half-listening, sipping her tea and scrolling through her phone.
Then it slipped out.
“Mein Mann ist Michael Kaiser.”
tsukishima kei as your fuck buddy that cares a little too much? mmm delicious
You didn't really intend to stay over, but last night was a little too intense. You begged him, over and over to fuck you. And so he did, since you looked so good begging him for his cock, loved seeing you ho dumb over it. The morning light stretched thin across his apartment, golden beams filtering through the blinds, cutting across the mess of sheets on your bed. Your body protested every movement, a dull ache blooming in places you didn’t realize could be sore. You tugged on one of his hoodies which practically swallowed you and padded toward the kitchen, wincing as you lowered yourself onto the chair.
It was subtle. Barely there. But of course he caught it.
getting your nails done in the color of kaiser's tip. you think it's your little surprise to him, but oh boy. you thought you'll leave him flustered? nah. you should've known he'll definitely out flustered you<3
a/n: i've been in love with this boy and i just had to write a spicy fluffy kaiser coded blurb
wearing cat ears around akaashi keiji? mhmhm
Keiji Akaashi was seated on the couch, sipping a glass of red wine, reviewing proofs on his tablet with the precision of a man who files his soul into folders. The living room is silent. Soft jazz. City lights outside. Calm. Refined. Controlled. Until you came in.
“Keijiiiiiiii!! LOOK WHAT I GOT!!” You burst out of the bedroom. In cat ears. Fuzzy black ones. With bells. JINGLING with every step. You're practically skipping. Holding the ears like a 5-year-old who found treasure in a cereal box.
“They jingle when I shake my head!!”
Jingle-jingle-jingle.
Akaashi looks up slowly from his tablet. One blink. Two. The corner of his mouth twitches like he’s fighting a war with his own face. “...You're wearing bells.” You nod like it’s the most exciting discovery of the century.
“Jingle bells,” you sing, proudly jingling side to side. And now the corners of his mouth are trembling. He sets the wine glass down like he’s making a business decision.
“I see.”
You hop in front of him and strike a pose. “So? What do you think?”
He stares. The ears. The bells. The delighted chaos in your eyes. He adjusts his glasses. And says, with the calm tone of a man rapidly combusting inside: “I think... ”
“You’re the most absurdly adorable thing I’ve ever seen.” You tilt your head in confusion. “You’re not even gonna boop them?” He raises an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”
“Yes.”
He sighs dramatically, sets the tablet aside, and stands. You expect a soft little boop. Instead, he leans down. Slow, deliberate, sleeves rolled up, and cups your face, fingers brushing under the cat ears, bells chiming softly as your breath catches. “I hope you understand,” he murmurs, voice low, eyes dark, “that you’re very lucky I have self-restraint.”
“Oh?”
He straightens his tie, “Because if you jingle like that again...”, he steps closer. "I will show you exactly how much of a mistake it is to tempt a man like me in bells.” You go completely silent. Then, “Jingle-jingle.”
“Get on the couch.” he says with no hesitation. And he said like he’s asking you to review legal documents, not brace yourself for cat-eared consequences. You blink. “Keiji. I was jingling. For joy.”
“And now I’m jingling with restraint.”, he says plainly. “You can't just tell me to get on the couch like this is a performance review!” He sighs, removes his glasses slowly like it’s a ritual before sins are committed, and tosses them onto the side table. “You're in cat ears, my love. And you're jingling. And you bounced.” You're wide eyed at this point, like a deer caught in headlights, “I was excited!” He just calmly says, as if he verbally and mentally didn't just rewire your brain, “So am I. Get on the couch.”
"Did I accidentally pull out Akaashi Keiji's hidden kink?", you try feigning innocence but fail because of the mischievous glint in your eyes. He takes a sharp breath. Reconsiders your entire existence. Then quietly says, “One more sentence from you, and I will flip you over this couch like a book I’m about to annotate in red pen.” You forget to breathe for a second and then finally breathe out, “...I'm suddenly very literate.”
To which he simply adds, “and about to be well read.”
yuji itadori , gojo satoru, geto suguru, inumaki toge, yuuta okkotsu, nishinoya yuu, hinata shoyo, tanaka ryunosuke, sugawara koshi, azumane asahi, kuroo tetsuro, bokuto kotaro, oikawa tooru, suna rintaro, miya atsumu, ojiro aran, mammon, leviathan, satan, beelzebub, eren yeager, jean kirstein
gojo satoru ofc, atsumu, kuroo, bokuto, oikawa, mattsun, maki, nishinoya, tanaka, tendou, terushima, mammon, asmodeus, denki, mikey, dazai lmao
"you're tired? i'll give you my shoulders to rest your feet on"
obey me: MAMMON, asmo, LUCIFER?? YES, solomon solomon solomon, SATANNN
haikyuu: KURO, OIKAWA, MATTSUN, ATSUMU, SUNAAAA, OSAMU, makki, terushima
jjk: gojo, getou, TOJI, sukuna
bnha: DENKI, sero, HAWKS, dabi, shigaraki, BAKUGOU??
random obey me incorrect quote
mc: hey lucifer! i got you a snack.
lucifer: 'raisin creme pies'? im already raising 6 of them.
(indescribable demon siblings chaos in the background that does not need any explanation)
"I usually like my eggs scrambled but I'd love to fertilize yours"
obey me: MAMMON, asmo?? yeah, omg omg beel too o_o, solomon (tho we don't want our man anywhere near the kitchen)
haikyuu: osamu, ATSUMU, suna, kuroo, oikawa, mattsun, makki, terushima, konoha, suga(but he'd definitely say it as a joke ahahaha), TENDOU
JJK: GOJO GOJO GOJO (mentioned him thrice because no one would be as crack as him <3)
bnha: DENKI, sero, HAWKS, dabi
AoT: eren, jean, CONNIE
me : I feel sad today
me : *proceeds to read angst, hurt no comfort*
the angel looking over me :
Suna Rintaro Wholesome Headcanons That Have Me Giggling
Suna Rintaro who as a teenager frequently visited the twins' house in Hyogo.
Suna Rintaro who's close with their parents who love Rintaro just as much as they love their sons.
Suna Rintaro who laughs when the twins' parents tell him childhood stories about the twins and how much they are responsible for their premature gray hair.
Suna Rintaro who in turn tells the twins' parents that he feels bad for them and hopes he never has to face the same situation.
Suna Rintaro whose eyes almost pop out of their sockets when the gynecologist congratulates Suna for becoming a father to twins while showing both of you the sonogram.
Suna Rintaro who ugly cries with happiness when he holds both of his baby boys in his arms for the first time.
Suna Rintaro who loves how his babies look like his spitting image— much to your annoyance (you carried them for 9 months only for them to look like your husband?!)
Suna Rintaro whose biggest concern as the twins are growing up is how much his sons love the Miya Twins.
Suna Rintaro who's soul almost leaves his body when his little twins start doing some of the same things as Atsumu and Osamu's parents had told him about.
Suna Rintaro who does not laugh at the stories the Miyas' parents had told him about, and rather empathises with them.
Suna Rintaro who smiles with nothing but adoration when you send him selfies of you with your twins captioned "We miss you dadda" on his away games.
Suna Rintaro whose face loses color when he hears a loud crash in the kitchen and rushes to see his 4 year olds giggling with flour entirely covering them AND half of the kitchen.
Suna Rintaro whose heart melts when they say "Sorry dadda, just wanted to make pancakes for you and mommy".
Suna Rintaro who has accepted the fact that even his hair would untimely turn gray and he'd probably get wrinkles in his forties but no longer minds it because he loves his baby boys way too much to care even if they sometimes make him want to peel his skin off <3
(Bonus : He also doesn't mind his early grays and wrinkles because as you always tell him he'd be the "yummiest dilf ever")
Incorrect OBEY ME Quote inspired from that one tiktok I don't have the link of (if you know pls send me the link)
Lucifer: So did he drop you home after your date?
Mc: yeah, he did.
Lucifer: And? Did he come inside?
Mc: No? It was just the first date?
Lucifer: that's very responsible of you MC—
MC: ...so I asked him to come on my face instead
Asmo: *wheezes in the background*
Lucifer: *horrified and disgusted and disappointed, pinching the bridge of his nose* you're not allowed to spend time with asmodeus and solomon anymore.