zeroeight

[todostoast]

every year i reach new lows and wish i killed myself earlier

[professionallyunstable-deactiva]

kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want

[autopsyfreak]

i fucking hate the term ‘neurospicy’.

[neuropathyfordpines]

If you have speech issues due to brain fog or psychosis or schizophrenia spectrum or intellectual disability or aphasia or whatever reason love you forever. We are not stupid, we are not freaks, we are disabled (if you identify that way) and deserve to be normalized. Speak "strange" forever

-schizophrenic with somewhat constant disorganized speech and writing

[lullxbyblue]

How are you supposed to just get up and go to school and go to work and come home and make dinner and fold the laundry and not want to kill yourself the whole fucking time.

[gh000m]

feeling like

[gh000m]

yearn for this feeling

[gh000m]

i think the thing that fucks me up the most, is that the person i am now is so far behind than i was two years ago. or far behind where i actually could have been in life. more than now. all my friendships changed at the same time. again. life flipped upside down. again. lost my jobs, my beloved best friend, my cat just dies. my comfort ‘person’. because of my families absolute negligence. my family continues to spiral. it just all hit. all hit me really hard. that and so much past trauma. i feel angry and disappointed in myself for letting it effect me. i’m so tired of letting things effect me. i just continue to my addictions and let it rule me while i suffer in numbness and a constant, sometimes reluctant high. i just know it’ll help. so i do it. maybe im ruining my life. i feel like i am. but im also trying. and working towards goals. i think the mental illness just gets louder and louder sometimes. and i don’t think addictions help with that. i need to move cities again. complete counties if i could afford. i just wanna escape this circle of hell i keep myself in. is it romantic relationships? do i feel trapped? trapped by the responsibilities of life and presenting myself. i just wish i was as sharp as i once was. i wish i had more mental clarity. i wish i wasn’t borderline. and so fucking angry all the time.

[gh000m]

something about feeling betrayed by someone you love feels like your souls been tainted. my soul has felt like it’s been darkening for years now. repeatedly dealing with people’s darknesses and being forced to have no soul at all. i can feel some sort of childish soul trying to escape from me now. sometimes new years genuinely give me so much insight. just by having a fresh slate. there’s a girl inside absolutely crying and screaming for help. ripping at my insides fighting for her voice. she knows she needs justice. but she’s smarter now. she knows how that will play out. so my soul stays dark. but it’s starting to rupture. starting to feel so unbearably suffocated. feel colours starting to release. purple, blue, pinks, oranges, greens. escaping like fireworks. i wonder when i’ll be finished. when the explosion will cease. but until then im excited. to feel so much more than i do now. love myself more than i do now. and honestly, it’s time to get some fucking revenge. it’s time to get fucking angry. and it’s time to FUCKING EXPLODE.

[gh000m]

honestly i’m so stupid. my intelligence genuinely shocks me. how im able to ignore basic necessities and things so painfully painted obvious right in front of me. i have rose coloured glasses on all the times or i wear a constant grey scale. either lying to myself through optimistic delusion, or torment myself with debilitatingly negative feelings. maybe i’ll never recover. or maybe all i need is safety and comfort. maybe if i was a little more evil i could make the worst people suffer. but then you become evil yourself. no better than the monsters. i just hate this constant battle between good and evil in my brain. i guess that’s the illness itself. fucking emptiness. i hate her. and i’m starting to hate him. i just have no fucking trust. no fucking care. no heart for anything. just emptiness.

[gh000m]

anyone else smoke a bowl and can’t even type this for the life of me. i just wanna puke everywhere to be honest and just die right here

[godofthelairsss]

[gh000m]

everything everything everything all at fifth

[gh000m]

[britishteen]

[kevc]

[bpdetrimental]

Words cannot express the absolute rage I feel when I think I’m getting better and it all comes crashing down again.

[gh000m]

it makes me so sad now. knowing that all the people who like actually fucked me up r like completely chilling right now living a great life. and i fucking hate these people. and i dont know if im that much of a narcissist that im just compensating or some shit w anger for how things played out. but i genuinely don’t feel like a fucking bad guy. and im so so so confused where i stand anymore. i give up.