not sleeping for two days just to finish final project is crazy. i feel like gummy with tummy ache.
don't do that. go to sleep.
just diploma defense and exam and dobby will be freee, back to writing fanfics.
Prone bone with Victor automatically qualifies as having breath control elements just because of how much of him there is pressing you into the mattress
Just got my hands on Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar" in English and got me thinking - I've always read books in third person (ex. "A Song Of Ice And Fire", "Lord of the Rings", Polish novels, etc.).
And I began to wonder, what is considered the primary option on the English speaking market? And what do the average reader think about it?
I, completely putting aside the second person POV, personally prefer the third person POV, but I'm just curious. 🤔
When reading a story, do you prefer the narrative to be:
I feel like Gideon is the type to fuck you dumb, only to allow himself to cum and just leave you there, needy and disappointed. He loves it when you pout and whine about him not letting you come, it makes him giddy and amused to see you like this.
But he does end up fucking you again, going round after round till your dumb, sobbing and begging for a break.
What do you want him to give? Too little or too much?
doesn't recognize personal space, like, at all. part of it is the nemesis parasite weakening his inhibitions; he also experiences a kind of thrill knowing he's crossed your boundaries, keenly monitoring your reactions in the process.
stares at you a lot, tracking your every expression & shift in mood with precise clarity. he's eerily good at guessing what you're thinking/feeling.
definitely going to do some stalking. he wants to know you from the inside out, the real you, not the person you pretend to be at first. expect to be spied on, even photographed or recorded. your social media accounts, if he can find them, will also be carefully perused & tracked. the more inaccessible you make yourself, the more he feels motivated to unravel your secrets.
has a folder (either an actual one or a digital folder) dedicated to pictures of you. like, a terrifying amount, from all angles & in all lighting conditions, even some you can't account for - seemingly as if they were taken from inside your home. it's better to not ask how he got them, for your own sake... unsurprisingly, his favorite pictures are the ones in which you're most compromised.
extremely mildly delusional about your relationship - you're destined to be with him no matter what, & once he decides to claim you it's not a matter of choice on your part - it's an inevitability & there's no use in fighting it. you might feel it's unfair or even a little sick, but Victor gives you so much tender & devoted attention that it becomes impossible to deny his genuine feelings towards you; even if you don't accept his love right away, he'll be patient. sooner or later you'll understand your true purpose. & once you do, he'll be certain to notice.
if you ever tried to leave Victor, heaven forbid, he'd stop at nothing to find you, making use of every resource available to him. however, it would be extremely destabilizing to his mental/emotional health; he won't ever accept you actually left, you're just perpetually "missing", that's all. & should he find you, he'll ensure you can never escape him again - whether it's by keeping you permanently trapped, or something far more drastic... he's not above cutting your tendons if it comes to that.
deeply jealous. he hates it when anyone else occupies your time - friends, family &etc. you don't need them; he understands you far better than they ever could, appreciates you more than they ever could. as a result he'll probably find some way to sabotage your other relationships... for your own good, of course, always for your own good. now he won't have to suffer sharing your attention & you won't have to talk to anyone but him! it's a win-win situation really. he can even check in on you while he works so you'll never need to be apart! :)
would like to mark you with some kind of indelible symbol of his influence/ownership, e.g. a tattoo or scar, or a surgical modification - he wants to inextricably bind your identity to his own in some fashion, such that you'll never conceive of yourself without him... like a wedding ring you can't remove.
knows exactly how to get into your head & is deeply manipulative can be quite convincing.
being rather peculiar himself, Victor is very accepting of your own oddities/quirks so as long as it doesn't involve going behind his back or being unfaithful. expect to be interrogated on everything you don't freely share; there's no need to keep secrets - you can tell him anything & everything (translation: you will be honest, & if you don't want to... well, he has ways of making you talk).
it's impossible to truly gross him out. he's seen so much viscera in his life that he can't really react in disgust to much of anything; quite often he takes this for granted. as a result he's unusually curious about all your bodily functions. almost anything could be an erotic fixation for him - your skin, your tongue, &etc.
for as much as Victor doesn't respect your privacy, he's very gentle & kind when he wants to be - he knows it's better to keep you pliant & cooperative, though should you ever get bratty with him he'll have to show you your place, which is terrifyingly easy for him - he doesn't enjoy it, but as he always says, it's for your own good - & if you're being really difficult then he'll probably just drug you into perpetual lethargy. you'll have your sobriety back when you decide to behave yourself.
loves to feel your trust, that you've made yourself absolutely vulnerable to him, even though he could easily snap you in half or worse. he'd never betray you, of course. however, the more you struggle against his invasion into your life, into your body & even your mind, the more pressure he'll apply, doing whatever it takes to wear down your inhibitions. it's never more apparent when he's indulging in his... animalistic tendencies.
you give him cuteness aggression, like big time. at random moments he'll pinch your cheek or scoop you up into a suffocating hug. he especially likes to clasp his hands around your body & feel your heartbeat - his touch has a devouring tendency.
extremely devoted to you; Victor insists that you're perfect/special & loves to affirm that you belong to him. he's surprisingly affectionate for being a serpentine mutant, & in moments of closeness he can be quite tender, whispering sweet nothings & stroking your hair. it can be embarrassing but you have no choice, he's going to put you on his lap & treat you like his beloved pet whether you like it or not.
occasionally insists on feeding/bathing you, especially if you're depressed or sick, but also just because he likes to take control of your body in various ways. only with the best of intentions, of course. :)
expect to be showered in gifts. & yes, they will be used to... orient you towards a positive disposition, shall we say. at times it borders on excessive, but he insists that you deserve to be spoiled (you will wear whatever he buys you; it's not a suggestion, it's a demand).
if you resent him for trying to keep you hostage, he'll forcecuddle you specifically with the aim of conditioning you to his touch, shushing you as you cry & struggle against him. he just wants you to feel safe with him, that's all.
!! nsfw !!
views himself as a superior being & not-so-secretly loves to be praised/admired. but half-hearted compliments aren't good enough; Victor wants you debasing yourself in the act of worship, presenting every hole for his enjoyment & inspection. your body is an instrument of prayer, so show him just how devoted you really feel.
being intimate with him is a very intense experience, from his huge frame enshrouding you, to the way his voice almost seems to lull you into a kind of trance, crawling in your mind like a serpent (heh), the focused quality of his attentions & how deeply he fixates on you specifically to the exclusion of everything else. you're scrutinized but in the most loving of ways, seen for every detail & truly naked.
the nemesis parasite frequently makes Victor intractibly restless/pent up, desperate for a hit of intense dopamine. he usually goes on a long motorcycle ride when he's feeling this way, but he's also just as likely to suddenly pull you into a so-called "medical examination" for "therapeutic value".
kissing Victor is very messy & never chaste. if you dare to try, he won't let you get away without at least making out with him a little first - he loves the way you taste & loves to have his tongue in your mouth.
begging makes him cum the hardest, just knowing that you're utterly at his mercy & desperate for relief. expect to be gently teased & intentionally deprived to draw out your struggle; he especially enjoys overwhelming you to the point of tears, soothing & encouraging you with words of pity while continuing to push you past your limits.
this one might be obvious but asphyxiation is, like, his Thing - not necessarily to choke you, but rather to feel your blood passing & control it as he pleases; your life in his hands, literally. he's a doctor after all!
when he's feeling lovey-dovey he'll praise you to the point of abject embarrassment, detailing what he enjoys about you & your body in precise terms, as if you were being dissected into pieces; he readily notices things about you that you could hardly witness in yourself independently - the way your breath hitches at certain moments, where you hold tension, your particular erogenous zones &etc. he sees all of it, finely manipulating your reactions.
big on licking. no elaboration necessary. it's just a primal expression of how he feels - literally wanting to consume you. he specifically loves to lick away your tears & blood.
very into bondage, but he doesn't really need to use tools for it. he's strong enough to easily restrain you on his own, though there may be times where he wants to torment you as an extended foreplay, tying you to a chair or something - he might even get creative with it e.g. hanging you upside-down or somesuch.
can go from being tender to punishing & vice-versa really suddenly depending on his mood/the kind of reaction he wants to elicit; stroking your hair to grabbing you by the scruff, passionately making out with your neck to biting at your jugular, &etc.
sometimes, if he gets a little too excited, the nemesis parasite acts up a little. nothing serious - he'll just start acting like a frenzied beast, growling in your ear & rutting into you like he can't get deep enough. there's a rabid look in his eyes that always comes over him when he's not entirely himself, as it were, like he'd kill whoever dared to interrupt him. he's almost incoherent except to say your name, calling for you desperately. even when you prepare for it, it's still a bewildering experience & leaves you feeling utterly exhausted.
thinking about you, being on a period so your body temperature is slightly elevated than usual. victor can instantly tell when your hormones shift, he can smell your cycle.
however, because the parasite within him caused reptile like mutations, victor will seek warmth or its sources.
so its only natural reaction when the big, scary doctor gideon keeps you close during your menstruation (perhaps, the phrase “keeping his bed warm” would gain another meaning).
