youâre not losing interest. youâre getting close and that scares you.
why you switch drs right when youâre about to shiftâŠ
if youâre someone who has multiple drs and finds yourself constantly flipping and floating between them, never staying focused on one for an extended period of time, and call yourself âlazyâ âboredâ or âinconsistentâ because of it, listen tf up!
iâve found that many shifters have a specific kind of resistance to messing up. theyâll experience great progress, building their confidence more and more until they have a âbreakthroughâ of sortsâmaybe a shift, maybe a close attempt but then, just as suddenly, poof! theyâre onto a new reality! a new fixation. if that sounds like something you do, my theory is that close attempts scare you because you start holding onto the outcome more after youâve noticed something youâve done has worked.
and going beyond that, youâre afraid the progress youâve made still wonât be enough to âshift you fullyâ.
sometimes, underneath that need to switch drs exists a persistent fear of never fully getting to a single one. itâs a fear that you may push away or not address because you enjoy the variety of options but itâs equally one that just gets bigger with time because instead of sitting in that discomfort when it comes up, your mind redirects you sneakily.
switching to a new dr is basically an escape from facing that uncomfortable vulnerability because if you keep switching before you ever âmake itâ you never have to face the possibility of âneverâ making it at all. you can easily say âwell, iâve only been focused on this dr for a couple days so itâs fine that i havenât shifted,â and never address the reason behind the switch.
but the reason behind the switch is important. when you get close to shifting, ask yourself if you apply a subtle pressure to the next attempt you have planned? do you secretly believe that your progress has to be linear otherwise youâre right back at square one? is it possible that you switch drs so that you never have to face having the close call not turn into a successful shift shortly after? is it possible that new dr = new square?
these are all questions you should ask yourself to know if you truly resonate with this post because the next part of this is going to give you tips on what i believe you should do when this trigger to switch realities comes up. and no, iâm not telling you to just âpersistâ and ignore the urge without any further explanation.
first, donât analyze the attempt to death. right after a close attempt, donât allow your brain to indulge in all you did wrong or all you did right. all youâre doing in that moment is creating pressure around results.
shifting isnât a chore so it shouldnât be examined like one. acknowledge that you did a damn good job and feel the joy from that.
next, youâre going to normalize it immediately. you having a close attempt isnât rare, it isnât huge, it isnât monumental. this ties into law of assumption work. if youâre someone who believes you are worthy of shifting, that your dr is not above you, and that youâre the master shifter you desire yourself to be, act like itâs something that can happen again, because it is. remember, that the more you pedestal that reality, the more youâll have to âworkâ to reach it. if you act like getting close to fully shifting there is something thatâs out of the ordinary for you, youâll only make the reality seem large and daunting and serious in comparison. hence, the urge to switch realities for a âfresh startâ.
thirdâand this is directly in tow to the second tipârelease the pressure off that dr. your urge to switch drs is coming from the fact that it matters too much to you now whether you âsucceedâ or âfailâ. so in order to remedy that, reassure yourself that you donât have to get there the very next time. itâll happen when it happens! i want you to keep that playful and curious energy within your attempts. you donât need to âlock inâ more directly after some success. reconnect with the dr in a casual way. intensity will breed more pressure when youâre the kind of person who avoids serious things. your dr isnât serious. itâs just home.
and if you still find yourself wanting to switch drs after all that, sit with the urge you feel and question why. make sure itâs not stemming from a place of avoidance, pressure or fear of failure. if you feel scared that you wonât be able to replicate that most recent attempt, free yourself from the need to do just that. purposely disregard attempting and pour your focus into connecting to the dr in a non-method coded way. listen to music, watch media related to it, go on pinterest, write stories!
stick with the reality, but donât go out of your way to attempt to shift unless youâre positive youâre capable of keeping it light and curious.
and instead of trying to trap yourself to this one reality because you havenât shifted there yet, allow yourself to commit to it because you simply want to see it through and still hold excitement for the place. remember that you never have to stick to any dr. when you feel like you have to, your brain is more inclined to rebel and quit.
all of these tips should help you to make that reality and shifting feel safe, which is all i really am trying to promote here. shifting is not high stakes. itâs not life or death. donât resist the shift by putting unnecessary pressure onto it. your dr is home. home should not feel heavy.
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