Giggles-Manically

HERO OF THE BUFFET LINE

[giggles-piratically]

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnn.....

[larvitarr]

[seite]

and then they proceeded to be the worst at their jobs for the next 20 years

[sindri42]

No no, you don’t get it. Jesse and James are the absolute best there is at their jobs, but they have no idea what their jobs are.

They think that they’re thieves, agents of an elite criminal group led by Giovanni, stealing rare pokemon and advanced technology and such. And there might have been a time this actually was their jobs. In the first season or two, they frequently get angry phone calls about how they’ve fucked everything up, or get their expense account cut off because they have literally never turned a profit on their criminal enterprises and constantly procure and then lose/destroy expensive and elaborate devices.

But then the world came within a hair’s breadth of being destroyed, several times, and Jesse, James, and their weird cat rescued everybody. As terrible as they’ve always been at criminal endeavors of any kind, when the apocalypse approaches and they’re forced to step up, they’re really fucking good at saving the day.

And Giovanni is over here like… if the planet is destroyed, or time/space becomes unrecognizable, or civilization collapses, there’s no way for me to run a profitable criminal enterprise anymore. I need this planet, because it’s where I keep all my stuff. And I don’t pretend to understand the why of it, but these couple of bumbling nutcases that I should have fired years ago seem to be an important component of that? Somehow? So you gotta stop thinking about them in terms of acquisitions and start considering them… loss prevention. As in, even if you waste a million dollars a month on giant cat-faced robots and a vast array of fancy ball gowns and they never turn a profit, they are preventing all of your assets from going away at the same time because of something you can’t do anything about.

And that’s the great secret behind Team Rocket. These guys aren’t thieves, they’re professional superheroes (sponsored by organized crime). Of course, nobody ever bothered to tell them that.

[edgar-allan-possum]

“To protect the world from devastation…”

[atopfourthwall]

Plus, as is frequently pointed out: Jesse and James are good at every other job EXCEPT Team Rocket. They’re actually smart businesspeople and run successful food and merchandise stands and are great salespeople. Hell, even in Team Rocket situations where they’re not chasing after Pikachu they’ve done better. It’s just their Achilles Heel is one damn OP rodent.

[computationalcalculator]

Pikachu Proximity Intelligence Chart

[silver-tongues-blog]

pretty sure giovanni keeps them on so he can commit insurance fraud by giving them tech insured for way more than what was paid for it so when it inevitably gets destroyed he gets a nice check.

[bumblebeerror]

I’m accepting all of these responses actually

[abundantchewtoys]

J&J (& Meowth) are field testers, catspaws and urban legend verifiers.

[dr-ladybird]

I love that the Inquisitor is canonically scared of spiders.

Not that surprising for mage!Trev, but the other character options are:

Renaissance Europe ish upper-class military type, high chance of shiny plate armour

Someone whose tribe lives in tents in the forest

Mafia thug. From underground.

VERY LARGE IMPOSING mercenary.

…who’s scared of spiders.

Josephine x Adaar prompt: she chivalrously rescues him from a big hairy nonvenomous spider.

[giggles-piratically]

Another fine art piece by @catalystcrisis done of my big ol lug of an Inquisitor.

Kost Adaar, mage, reluctant inquisitor, and josie romancer.

Thanks for catching Mr Baby Face Qunari so well @catalystcrisis

[catalystcrisis]

Portrait of Josephine

I tried working on the Solavellan pieces, but my art brain wasn’t vibing with it. Zoned out and this came into being! I imagine that the Inquisitor had this privately commissioned so they could carry it around in a locket while they’re away from Skyhold <3

Detail shot because I love how her eyes turned out :’)

[giggles-piratically]

Now I want to imagine the M9 after a disintegrated Jester.

There would have been so much Chaos and Drama and holy crap going on. Could the traveller have gotten her back after something like that?

I cant imagine that Matt would have wanted to kill off another popular tiefling but still that alternate outcome would have been something.

[magigoof]

I think some of you are a little too invested in the romantic relationships of the Nein, and are in turn overreacting to the cast’s game choices. This is a twitch stream/podcast of eight friends playing a game. I think that some people have forgotten that this isn’t like a movie or show, where the picture that you have IS what matters most, and relationships that come out of the blue are ridiculous. However, Critical Role is a ROLE PLAY GAME, and there are no relationships that have somehow come out of the blue. Some of you are really reaching for something to be mad about. There are more important things than fantasy people’s romantic attachments.

Shipping is not the point of the show. This is not a streamlined, scripted show that has been carefully crafted to maintain maximum fan approval, this is an unscripted GAME. Don’t be awful to people, especially not over a possible relationship in a fantasy world that someone else is playing.

[giggles-piratically]

Did you know the cast signed a secret agreement to only have their characters in a relationship in pre approved by the fandom as decided by the true owners of Critical Role (the fans). Its true, the cast deeply respect your shipping desires and are going to cater the story just to you and only you, as agreed upon by the super secret shipping document.

Oh wait...they didnt do anything like that....and you dont get a say in how the story goes....huh. Not like its going to stop people making threats and screaming in butthurtery that their one true ship got sunk.

[giggles-piratically]

DM: ROLL INITIATIVE!

Party: -starts fighting and wipes out the planned allies they made-

DM: 

[giggles-piratically]

Author Sympathy Audience Apathy

Author: This is a new character you will like them and love them!

Audience:...........nah

Author: HOW DARE YOU! See other characters say they are sympathetic...they have....a morality pet...and a pet!

Audience: .....nope.

Author: FINE! I will have the narrative tell you that they are sympathetic and contort the message to make them likeable!

Audience: You made it worse!

Author: HAH! My final weapon I will give post story interviews to confirm themes and such that make them so!

Audience:M’kay im going now

Author: Did I mistake? No it is the audience that is wrong!

Dear Authors if you want to make a character likeable and sympathetic actually make them so. Dont go onto interviews say they just dont get it, it makes you look like a weeny.

[giggles-piratically]

Subverted Expectations Victim Meeting PT 1

Somewhere in Heaven: 

(Subverted Expectations Victim Meeting)

Joel: Hello my name is Joel, I was murdered at the start of the sequel to shock the audience and lecture them about how violence and murder is bad.

(murmurs of hello)

Joel:Then I didn't get avenged at all because its wrong ...unless my killer does it.

Luke Skywalker: Yeah that happens, they made me try and murder my nephew for no real reason so someone could flip off a franchise he never liked.

Daenerys Targaryen: At least you didnt commit mass murder for no reason so some author insert could replace you and smugly ruin your name after you died.

Joel: ..........Kinda?

(murmurs of dang)

30 Hours to end with a pathetic “REVENGE IS BAD” message ...unless your killing off a beloved character for cheap shock points I guess.

[giggles-piratically]

Behold another reason why shipping is ruined by a select few “interesting” types.

A day may come when the  deceny of shippers is well regarded, when we all get along and bond over our mutual fandom, but it is not this day.

[giggles-piratically]

Swjord Update.

Fjords Swjord is currently an unknown.

All we know is that:

It is a longsword with a +2 enchantment. Thanks to dnd beyond people know it has two charges.

Now thematically it looks like water so we can assume it has some built in spells. Best guesses could be Cone of Cold or maybe a tweaked smite.

Other guesses could be summoning a water elemental or controlling weather.

Perhaps this is just Travis wanting to make everyone have an WOW moment when it goes off. Until then we remain sword blocked.

[yocalio]

God, any official promo with Dany after S8 makes me irrationally angry. You hacks dismantled her in every possible way and now you are relying on her corpse for money and clout? Fuck no and fuck you from the bottom of my salty-ass heart.

She's what made the show and by them coming for her, she destroyed it. Now they're trying to save face by using her for marketing. Even her iconic music is used in the dumb ass game ads over the Stanks. Like get off her dick. She's ours now. I just looked at the s8 blu ray on Amazon to see if they were using her. Of course Drogon is on the cover but man, those reviews are amazing lol.

[giggles-piratically]

Once again fandom ruins things.

Brian Foster did not come out as a nazi, he did not come out as a racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, privileged, or whatever else those people accused him off.

This fandom has toxic people pretending to be accepting and progressive who are just as rude and unable to tolerate others as they accuse people of themselves.

If someone is tired then it is their right to be tired. Especially when a bunch of thin skinned drama brats howl in rage over you being tired of that exact behaviour.

I wish Brian well and hope anyone who chased him off the internet or took joy in it realizes one day that they are just as much a git as they claim their 'enemies' are.

[giggles-piratically]

Hey before you get too excited remeber that Paladins only get divine smite at 2nd level.

So no Fjord doing 12d8+2d8+5+2 damage on a crit just yet

[giggles-piratically]

Yall say you want that prime critical role angst to happen but you dont really.

Everytime drama happens or something sad the entire fanbase falls to hysterics.