Giulia's Dreamland @giulia-dreamland - Tumblr Blog

the-bearded-nerd-2018-deactivat

Be prepared for spooky season 🎃

littlebaby26

@gothmonkeyinthemiddle

papistrouble

If I could tolerate gags, I think they would all need to be adorably themed.

giulia-dreamland

This is pretty fantastic... not gonna lie...

submissive-seeking-day

An Invitation

@instructor144 has decreed September 27th shall be Submissive-Seeking Day

This blog can serve as a place for anyone to participate

The header and avatar are Submissive-Seeking's photographs

Header is from their cabin

The avatar is from one of her trail photographs

There is only one rule

LOVE ONE ANOTHER WELL

instructor144

This.

micdotcom

Watch: This 92-year-old World War II pilot owned the skies in her old spitfire plane

aber-flyingtiger

Damned good show.

petermorwood

The absolutely best and slightly choked-up bit for me:

“Okay, Joy, when you’re ready - you have control…”

RIP Joy Lofthouse, 14/2/1923 – 15/11/2017, aged 94.

Also RIP Mary Ellis, 2/21917 – 24/7/2018, aged 101.

(At the end of the video, when Joy mentioned the business of radios - Air Transport Auxiliary delivered planes that were “factory-bare” with none of their service equipment in place. No radios - and no guns either, so encountering an enemy intruder aircraft would have been… Exciting.)

readytaketwo

Look at these amazing ladies 💜

2treez

I can not convey how much I love this ❤️

sinfulangel

giulia-dreamland

I look at a guy with a belly and think he’s adorable. Too many men look at a girl with a belly and think she’s just fat. That kind of drives me a little whackadoodle.

liberalsarecool

Trump regime is using the power of the state to chill dissenting voices. In addition, it is perpetuating a culture that doesn’t just condone, but requires, lying to the American people.

pollyannapocket

Here’s a link to the video so you guys can watch it.

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/cbs-news-interview-with-ice-whistleblower-interrupted-by-federal-agents/

ianvs-deactivated20241214

Since a lot of folks like to bleat about freedom of speech, this is what it looks like when that right is actually impinged upon.

smitethestate

They didn’t take him away because they didn’t have a warrant for his arrest or anything, they were just literally there to intimidate him in the middle of an interview I’m sure they knew was happening.

giulia-dreamland

I cannot even believe this is real. Somebody please wake me up.

no-longer-another-bondi-blonde

instructor144

“When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”

giulia-dreamland

Truth.

sufficientlylargen

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

tommyeatseaton-blog

okay but what’s updog ?

jaiwithanadult

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

yumantimatter

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

defectivealtruist

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

ghostpalmtechnique

No, that’s uptalk. You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

argumate

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

regexkind

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

another-normal-anomaly

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

identicaltomyself

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

speakertoyesterday

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

mistbornthefinal

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

yumantimatter

What’s a henway?

eversolewd-deactivated20250517

Oh, about 5 pounds.

d1rtnbl00d

GOTTEM

technogenic-mess

naughtypiggy

@instructor144 This was MADE for you, bruh!

@dinodaddy @masternerd- I need witnesses including see I go missing. 🤣

1st-1

Timelapse of Europa & Io orbiting Jupiter, shot from Cassini during its flyby of Jupiter

comtessedebussy

Guys. Guys. Look at how high-definition this is. LOOK AT IT. This isn’t a movie. This isn’t CGI. This is OUR FUCKING SOLAR SYSTEM. A;LSKJFA;WFEW

goodgirlsdoresearch-deactivated

Our D/s isn’t stylized. It isn’t camera ready. It isn’t perfect bodies and a completely clean house.

The carpet is dirty.

My hair is a mess.

My fat is prominent.

But none of that prevented Daddy’s hard on, my slickness, or the need for a good thrashing.

None of that prevented me from cumming 4 times at his hands.

I am fucking hot and dirty and sexy and I don’t need to be made up, thin, or apparently even showered to be that way.

Today is a good day.

1980vibes

as a therapist, let me just say: almost every trauma survivor I’ve ever had has at some point said,

'but I didn’t have it as bad as some people,’

and then talked about how other types of trauma are worse. even my most-traumatized, most-abused, most psychologically-injured clients say this.

the ones who were cheated on, abandoned, and neglected say this. the ones who were in dangerous accidents/disasters say this. the ones who were horrifyingly sexually abused say this. the ones who were brutally beaten say this. the ones who were psychologically tortured for decades say this. what does that tell you? that one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care. - hobbitsaarebas

giulia-dreamland

Well this hits close to home.

adonai-and-amma

The Future

I feel like I am standing on the edge, staring into the abyss once again as I wait to see what Amma’s primary Oncologist has to say for us prior to her discharge from the hospital tomorrow. It has been 141 days since the osteosarcoma tumor was found in Amma’s heart and the other tumors were identified. During that time she has spent a total of 26 days at home. To say that the hospital has become all too familiar would be a dramatic understatement. I know I have done everything I physically can to prepare the house for her return, I believe I have done everything to mentally prepare for a new challenge moving forward.

Unfortunately, we may be heading home with trepidation. The last 141 days we have been focused on stopping, shrinking, and removing the tumors. Amma has received some particularly harsh chemotherapy that has returned her to the hospital each time due to nuetropenic fevers and a very low white blood cell count. She has needed 4 whole blood transfusions, 2 platelet transfusions, fought sepsis, C-diff, and UTI infections. She has dealt with pain, bed sores, and confusion. The new chemotherapy regimen is centered around a daily pill. On Tuesday this week, we were discussing the next phase of treatment with one of the attending Oncologists here, and well it wasn’t a pleasant discussion. I felt sorry for the Doctor, he certainly had a rough job discussing something we were somewhat shocked to hear.

He discussed what the pill really does, it slows the growth of the the tumors, and I assume that it does the same for the spread of metastasis through the body as a treatment. It was a departure from the Stop, Shrink, cut out plan. He also discussed that since this would still take a toll and that we would need to balance Amma’s quality of life against the benefits of the medication. It felt like a punch in the gut.

So we wait, tomorrow we talk to our Oncologist, we will listen to what she has to say and make our plan from there. One thing is sure, despite this potential development, we remain focused on fighting this tooth and nail. We will move forward into the future, face what the abyss throws at us together. We know that there are hard decisions coming. We will be wrapping up some of the “just in case” legal documents over the next week. Make no mistake, we are delayed, not denied. – Adonai

#fuckcancer

nurseaware

My heart goes out to you both, so much. You’ve already been through many challenges, obstacles, and emotional roller coasters… and now you are facing another. You are in this together. You are stronger than you know. We are here to send our love and support as best we can. 💜

#fuckcancer

instructor144

One of our own could sure use some support right now, folks. ❤❤❤

dinodaddy-deactivated20221014

giulia-dreamland

Sending love and light and energy to help in your fight. Fuck cancer to hell.

no-little-one

On identity politics in BDSM: a call for less judgement and more acceptance

[please note, this is a work in progress and may need some more work before my arguement is truly clear. Feel free to comment and help me forward my thinking!]

I’m really getting sick of all these categories and the stringent boundaries we place around them. I’m really just sick of all the judgement.

To be clear, I understand what this is a symptom of. We, as a group, have been (and are) descriminated against for something we believe to be a crucial component of our identity. As a result, we have responded by trying to justify our sense of self by creating these categories of what we call a true submissive, a true dominant, a true little, a true daddy, a tru masochist, a good sadist… etc etc.

We’ve defined those traits we value and have generated these strict borders around what it means to be a true and good _____. What we’ve done here is generated new categories to define what is required in order to be considered a valued human in any given bdsm community.

The problem with this is that this sort of individualistic, neo-liberal categorization is exclusionary. By generating these new boundaries there exists someone on the outside. Thank you, Judith Butler for pointing this out in the 90s.

I just can’t see that way of thinking as particularly useful. I do not believe that we, in any way, exist in isolation. People are complex. We are never constant but always becoming. The metaphor I’ll borrow here (from a philosopher whose name I cannot remember) is that I cannot stand in the same river twice.

We exist only in relation to our environments, our histories, those we interact with—both physically and online. I believe we exist beyond the borders of our bodies and the lines between what is me and what is you are far more blurry and ill defined than this. I’ve massively summarized my thoughts here on the nature of reality but my point is simply that these boundaries we’ve generated are limiting. We are not constant. We will change based on circumstance and experience. We will not be the same person in all situations. But none of these versions of ourselves is any less valid or valuable. Just because someone else experiences bdsm differently doesn’t make them wrong. Moreover, relationships are complex and while this dynamic may be important to them, it does not necessarily define them completely or even at all points in time.

Thus, I implore you to let go of your categorization judgements and your definitions of what it means to be a true and good this or that and instead simply accept the complexity of lived experience into your communities. Do not allow yourself to be threatened by dominant society into reproducing the same sort of exclusionary thought processes that required us to find refuge in the first place. Instead allow yourself to love others and to learn from them. Teach instead of shaming. Offer forgiveness and compassion. And more than that, accept that different may not be worse: listen and learn.

That is all, thank you for reading.

itsshinycollectordestinyworld

Great post, @no-little-one - lots of food for thought and I hope more folks weigh in with their thoughts.

I have some thoughts - some may even be relevant. Don’t hold your breath though - you know I love any excuse for a ramble…

Judgement is not helpful at all because it only ever attests to the lack of something - which aside from being glaringly evident, is usually one dimensional.

The whole “Won Twue Way” nonsense is nothing more than egoic masturbation but interestingly enough, actually does serve a valid purpose.

As a really good example of what not to do.

In my experience, many people jump into kink based lifestyles because they sound cool and/or edgy but are seldom arsed to do their homework first.

Which is how we arrive at a place where fuckbois constantly need to be told by more experienced folks that ‘no, that’s not it’. Because bdsm is - and must be - predicated on specifics.

In other words, the terms submissive, dominant, sadist, masochist, daddy etc actually represent very specific things. And while there is an incredible amount of wiggle room because each submissive for example, will express their submission differently, in order to call oneself submissive, one must actually submit in some way shape or form.

So yeah, there is no such thing as a true submissive or true master or whatever but in order to label oneself as a specific category - which is kinda necessary otherwise some poor rope bottom looking for a rigger is going to be wondering why the fuck they’re having a teaparty with a berry helpful snausage who keeps asking if their boots need a good licking - one does have to exhibit the most basic expression of that category.

Or pick something else better suited to what one actually is.

Just like in cricket, one can be a good all-rounder if one can field (catch the ball), bat (hit the ball) and bowl (throw the ball) but usually one is better suited to only one or two of those things and calling oneself an all-rounder when one is actually just a batsman, bowler or fielder is only going to end in tears…

And while 'good’ may be largely subjective, it still represents the ability to successfully/properly Do A Specific Thing.

In my estimation, a 'good’ anything in bdsm terms, would be the snausage who successfully fulfils their role and purpose in relation to their partner. And because everyone does their thing a little differently to everyone else, that’s always going to look different to anyone on the outside peeking in. Obvs.

But different REALLY does not mean wrong and in fact, paying attention to the differences and celebrating them, is not only beneficial to us a group, but crucial to our ability to survive in a world that is quite rapidly running out of cookies.

In conclusion - there does need to be a certain amount of categorisation and labelling but only insofar as indicates a specific role. For the rest yeah, more compassionate, inclusionary teaching and empathetic appreciation of inherent diversity will go a long fukken way to making our community better and safer.

dinodaddy-deactivated20221014

@no-little-one @itsshinycollectordestinyworld, this is actually something that I’ve been saying for a while now, only in a slightly different way (because that’s how writing works and thank God for different voices and perspectives). I think that, for me, there are two checks that we should each run through in relation to identifying each other and ourselves: are you being honest with yourself and others, and is it actually a description or just something you like the sound of?

I’m a Daddy. That, in and of itself tells you very, very little because of the vast diversity we have in what passes for daddies and that’s okay - think of it like the term “plant” or “animal” in the Linnaeus method. It gives you a very basic idea of what you would expect to see with this term. For instance, if you hear “Plant”, you would most definitely not expect to find a fur-bearing life form in this group.

The very same can be said about the term “Little”, and this is something I was just thinking about yesterday, in fact. There are a number of “types” of Littles under that category (phyla) , with various classes, orders, genera, and species existing within.

I don’t think that the problem with terms like “Daddy”, “Little”, “Submissive”, and “Dominant” is so much with the terms themselves, but with people’s understanding of exactly how broad those categories are. Most people only intersect with a fraction of the members of each of these phylas, and typically they tend to be drawn towards those within their own classes and orders as well. They might make allowances for differences in genera and species, but anything above those makes them uncomfortable and triggers the wtw response.

The second thing comes down to honesty - are you representing yourself and your qualities accurately? For me, this is far more important in the discussions with your partners (or potential partners) than in casual conversation with others. I personally don’t care how someone chooses to identify until such time as their chosen identity has any sort of effect on my life (it’s kind of how I feel about everything, honestly).

So, in summary, be honest about your intentions and your capacity, and remember there’s all kinds of kinds.

I use a lot of words sometimes.

itsshinycollectordestinyworld

You do. But they’re Good Words - they do the job ;)

instructor144

@no-little-one it was Heraclitus. 👍 Added props for looping in Judith Butler, though I’m not a fan of her tendency to wrap the most quotidian ideas in a near-impenatrable layer of obscure, oracular prose.

giulia-dreamland

Wow this is such a great post…

I think part of the issue is that the “one true ____” mindset is a symptom of the over-arching problem of rampant tribalism that we are seeing in just about every aspect of society today. Humans are inherently tribal creatures… you can’t eliminate millenia of social construct in just a few hundred years… and the internet now provides instant access to others who are potential members of each little microtribe. And the more chaotic the world gets, the more people run to their microtribes. If members within the microtribe start to acknowledge the validity of others’ differences, it’s a threat to the safety of their worldview. It makes them feel less powerful and cracks the shield of their self-righteousness. Or it takes away that feeling of validation that comes with surrounding themselves with carbon copies, and leaves the person feeling unsure of their own choices.

Of course a corollary to this is that people who are attracted to microtribes are more vulnerable to manipulation due to their one-dimensional way of thinking. Take a bunch of people who think they want to be a part of a D/s microtribe because they proudly read the entire 50 Shades of Idiocy trilogy, and it’s a recipe for a whole lot of name-calling and rock-throwing as they search for validation that this fantasy world of theirs is real. The more insecure the person is, the more likely they are to be exclusionary. The ones who scream about their individuality the loudest are often the ones who are the biggest sheep.

I think the best thing is for those of us who are NOT exclusionary to just keep doing what we do and model better behavior. People like @instructor144 and @dinodaddy are great examples of that. Not everyone who subscribes to the “one true ______” is teachable, but it’s great to know that the ones who are teachable have access to such good role models. It would be nice if everyone could just accept and appreciate that we are part of the same macrotribe. :)

instructor144

For those who think that tumblr is a mindless sinkhole, I offer this thread ☝️☝️☝️ as refutation.

dinodaddy-deactivated20221014

@giulia-dreamland I love your application of tribalism to this discussion because it’s so good at explaining many of the things that we see going on in our community. Tribalism is also something that I talk about at great length with my friend Tom - not in a D/s context, because he isn’t part of that world, but regarding the human condition as a whole.

People form tribes for many reasons, such as a sense of identity, a feeling of belonging, and a way to sort out the “us” from the “them”, but especially for safety, security, and mutual defense during times of conflict. Prior to the introduction of agriculture, humans were far less prone to form tribes and almost never even engaged in warfare. It wasn’t until a particular parcel of land became vital for the ability to survive and to provide sustenance through times of doubt and peril (famine, pestilence, flood, etc.) that people felt a need to stake a claim to it, form tribes for the purposes of defending it, and weed out those who belonged there from those who were trespassing. Tribes adopted “uniforms” in order to quickly identify one another and make this separation easier and more apparent (uniforms being manners of dress, speech, adornments, etc).

Today, this behavior manifests itself through many different means such as political tribalism, nationalism, religious conflicts, sports rivalries, etc. Within our own community, we see it manifest in other ways, like “bedroom only” vs. “full spectrum”, littles who regress vs. those who do not, various types of submissives, dominants, daddies, masters, slaves, etc. Each group possesses a generalized theory about what their classification means based on their shared experiences, and each member of the various groups has a more specific notion of these things formed and shaped by their own encounters. The problem is that, since reality is subjective and no two people experience the same reality in exactly the same way or context, you will often see people over the areas of their experience that conflict with that of the “others”.

The only way to mitigate the damage that these tribal conflicts can cause that I personally can imagine is to promote and espouse a doctrine of acceptance and inclusiveness. We need to normalize the idea that everyone encounters D/s and BDSM through different channels (yes, even 50 Shades), experiences it in different ways, and has different ideas about what certain aspects of this life means to them. One person’s idea of what it means to submit cannot detract from another person’s form of submission no matter how strongly they might argue the contrary. What it means to be a dominant can vary greatly according to each person who claims the mantle, but having a diversity of thought or a variety of meanings only adds to, not detracts from, the wealth of the community.

giulia-dreamland

Thank you @dinodaddy... you really expanded on where I was trying to go with the concept. The reason why civilizations grew exponentially larger and evolved over time was exactly because microtribes formed alliances with other microtribes, realizing that their differences in strength, knowledge, etc. actually made them all stronger and safer by standing together. Likewise, learning from each other and being inclusive of groups whose ideas and experiences within the D/s community are different than our own makes the D/s macrotribe that much stronger, and we can all learn from and protect each other.

I really wish that society at large saw the truth of this. I fear that the global community is now in the process of devolving instead of evolving.

Goblins at the club

PLEASE unmute

Oh my god. Unmute this.

ama-personal

those guys from men in black who hang out drinking coffee and partying

sir-gentlemangeek-deactivated20

🤣

giulia-dreamland

*spits my coffee*

ampervadasz

Unmute !

anime-goggles

That purr is almost ethereal, my goodness

no-little-one

On identity politics in BDSM: a call for less judgement and more acceptance

[please note, this is a work in progress and may need some more work before my arguement is truly clear. Feel free to comment and help me forward my thinking!]

I’m really getting sick of all these categories and the stringent boundaries we place around them. I’m really just sick of all the judgement.

To be clear, I understand what this is a symptom of. We, as a group, have been (and are) descriminated against for something we believe to be a crucial component of our identity. As a result, we have responded by trying to justify our sense of self by creating these categories of what we call a true submissive, a true dominant, a true little, a true daddy, a tru masochist, a good sadist... etc etc.

We’ve defined those traits we value and have generated these strict borders around what it means to be a true and good _____. What we’ve done here is generated new categories to define what is required in order to be considered a valued human in any given bdsm community.

The problem with this is that this sort of individualistic, neo-liberal categorization is exclusionary. By generating these new boundaries there exists someone on the outside. Thank you, Judith Butler for pointing this out in the 90s.

I just can’t see that way of thinking as particularly useful. I do not believe that we, in any way, exist in isolation. People are complex. We are never constant but always becoming. The metaphor I’ll borrow here (from a philosopher whose name I cannot remember) is that I cannot stand in the same river twice.

We exist only in relation to our environments, our histories, those we interact with—both physically and online. I believe we exist beyond the borders of our bodies and the lines between what is me and what is you are far more blurry and ill defined than this. I’ve massively summarized my thoughts here on the nature of reality but my point is simply that these boundaries we’ve generated are limiting. We are not constant. We will change based on circumstance and experience. We will not be the same person in all situations. But none of these versions of ourselves is any less valid or valuable. Just because someone else experiences bdsm differently doesn’t make them wrong. Moreover, relationships are complex and while this dynamic may be important to them, it does not necessarily define them completely or even at all points in time.

Thus, I implore you to let go of your categorization judgements and your definitions of what it means to be a true and good this or that and instead simply accept the complexity of lived experience into your communities. Do not allow yourself to be threatened by dominant society into reproducing the same sort of exclusionary thought processes that required us to find refuge in the first place. Instead allow yourself to love others and to learn from them. Teach instead of shaming. Offer forgiveness and compassion. And more than that, accept that different may not be worse: listen and learn.

That is all, thank you for reading.

itsshinycollectordestinyworld

Great post, @no-little-one - lots of food for thought and I hope more folks weigh in with their thoughts.

I have some thoughts - some may even be relevant. Don't hold your breath though - you know I love any excuse for a ramble...

Judgement is not helpful at all because it only ever attests to the lack of something - which aside from being glaringly evident, is usually one dimensional.

The whole "Won Twue Way" nonsense is nothing more than egoic masturbation but interestingly enough, actually does serve a valid purpose.

As a really good example of what not to do.

In my experience, many people jump into kink based lifestyles because they sound cool and/or edgy but are seldom arsed to do their homework first.

Which is how we arrive at a place where fuckbois constantly need to be told by more experienced folks that 'no, that's not it'. Because bdsm is - and must be - predicated on specifics.

In other words, the terms submissive, dominant, sadist, masochist, daddy etc actually represent very specific things. And while there is an incredible amount of wiggle room because each submissive for example, will express their submission differently, in order to call oneself submissive, one must actually submit in some way shape or form.

So yeah, there is no such thing as a true submissive or true master or whatever but in order to label oneself as a specific category - which is kinda necessary otherwise some poor rope bottom looking for a rigger is going to be wondering why the fuck they're having a teaparty with a berry helpful snausage who keeps asking if their boots need a good licking - one does have to exhibit the most basic expression of that category.

Or pick something else better suited to what one actually is.

Just like in cricket, one can be a good all-rounder if one can field (catch the ball), bat (hit the ball) and bowl (throw the ball) but usually one is better suited to only one or two of those things and calling oneself an all-rounder when one is actually just a batsman, bowler or fielder is only going to end in tears...

And while 'good' may be largely subjective, it still represents the ability to successfully/properly Do A Specific Thing.

In my estimation, a 'good' anything in bdsm terms, would be the snausage who successfully fulfils their role and purpose in relation to their partner. And because everyone does their thing a little differently to everyone else, that's always going to look different to anyone on the outside peeking in. Obvs.

But different REALLY does not mean wrong and in fact, paying attention to the differences and celebrating them, is not only beneficial to us a group, but crucial to our ability to survive in a world that is quite rapidly running out of cookies.

In conclusion - there does need to be a certain amount of categorisation and labelling but only insofar as indicates a specific role. For the rest yeah, more compassionate, inclusionary teaching and empathetic appreciation of inherent diversity will go a long fukken way to making our community better and safer.

dinodaddy-deactivated20221014

@no-little-one @itsshinycollectordestinyworld, this is actually something that I've been saying for a while now, only in a slightly different way (because that's how writing works and thank God for different voices and perspectives). I think that, for me, there are two checks that we should each run through in relation to identifying each other and ourselves: are you being honest with yourself and others, and is it actually a description or just something you like the sound of?

I'm a Daddy. That, in and of itself tells you very, very little because of the vast diversity we have in what passes for daddies and that's okay - think of it like the term "plant" or "animal" in the Linnaeus method. It gives you a very basic idea of what you would expect to see with this term. For instance, if you hear "Plant", you would most definitely not expect to find a fur-bearing life form in this group.

The very same can be said about the term "Little", and this is something I was just thinking about yesterday, in fact. There are a number of "types" of Littles under that category (phyla) , with various classes, orders, genera, and species existing within.

I don't think that the problem with terms like "Daddy", "Little", "Submissive", and "Dominant" is so much with the terms themselves, but with people's understanding of exactly how broad those categories are. Most people only intersect with a fraction of the members of each of these phylas, and typically they tend to be drawn towards those within their own classes and orders as well. They might make allowances for differences in genera and species, but anything above those makes them uncomfortable and triggers the wtw response.

The second thing comes down to honesty - are you representing yourself and your qualities accurately? For me, this is far more important in the discussions with your partners (or potential partners) than in casual conversation with others. I personally don't care how someone chooses to identify until such time as their chosen identity has any sort of effect on my life (it's kind of how I feel about everything, honestly).

So, in summary, be honest about your intentions and your capacity, and remember there's all kinds of kinds.

I use a lot of words sometimes.

itsshinycollectordestinyworld

You do. But they're Good Words - they do the job ;)

instructor144

@no-little-one it was Heraclitus. 👍 Added props for looping in Judith Butler, though I'm not a fan of her tendency to wrap the most quotidian ideas in a near-impenatrable layer of obscure, oracular prose.

giulia-dreamland

Wow this is such a great post...

I think part of the issue is that the “one true ____” mindset is a symptom of the over-arching problem of rampant tribalism that we are seeing in just about every aspect of society today. Humans are inherently tribal creatures... you can’t eliminate millenia of social construct in just a few hundred years... and the internet now provides instant access to others who are potential members of each little microtribe. And the more chaotic the world gets, the more people run to their microtribes. If members within the microtribe start to acknowledge the validity of others’ differences, it’s a threat to the safety of their worldview. It makes them feel less powerful and cracks the shield of their self-righteousness. Or it takes away that feeling of validation that comes with surrounding themselves with carbon copies, and leaves the person feeling unsure of their own choices.

Of course a corollary to this is that people who are attracted to microtribes are more vulnerable to manipulation due to their one-dimensional way of thinking. Take a bunch of people who think they want to be a part of a D/s microtribe because they proudly read the entire 50 Shades of Idiocy trilogy, and it’s a recipe for a whole lot of name-calling and rock-throwing as they search for validation that this fantasy world of theirs is real. The more insecure the person is, the more likely they are to be exclusionary. The ones who scream about their individuality the loudest are often the ones who are the biggest sheep.

I think the best thing is for those of us who are NOT exclusionary to just keep doing what we do and model better behavior. People like @instructor144 and @dinodaddy are great examples of that. Not everyone who subscribes to the “one true ______” is teachable, but it’s great to know that the ones who are teachable have access to such good role models. It would be nice if everyone could just accept and appreciate that we are part of the same macrotribe. :)