Meme Queen 👑

Hayley, 23, Lesbian cat mom here. Inbox is always open. All you have to do to be my friend is send me funny memes. However if you support Trump keep your thoughts to yourself and kindly stay the hell away from me.

[ntrider]

giving increasingly loud sighs as I wait for my crush to ask "what's wrong?" so I can say I'm in a state of depression unless I can touch someone's boobs with no bra

[ntrider]

I stop once I start getting short of breath

[aokozaki]

[Your crush, on the phone to someone unseen] Yeah I think she needs to be put down, her breathing-- yeah I know it can be a problem for her breed, but it's getting really bad.

[ntrider]

I'M NOT A DOG??????

[aokozaki]

[clearly less interested now] Oh.

[ntrider]

wait! au au

[aokozaki]

[walking over the distant horizon, towards the West]

[ntrider]

AU AU!!! AU AU!!!!! 😭

[blessyouhawkeye]

telling a joke on tumblr is fun but watch out! if it gets over 1000 notes your joke is automatically exposed to people who have never once heard a joke in their life.

[blessyouhawkeye]

"why would you say that" because it was funny. "but that isn't true" it's the funniest way to express that sentiment. "why would you do that" because it's a joke.

[were--ralph]

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

[were--ralph]

we're going to try again witha little but minimal casting

IT will happen in August of 2026. like to charge and reblog to cast but cast sparingly

[were--ralph]

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

[were--ralph]

CAST NOW

[peanutbuttaz]

[paranoidgemsbok]

Stardew valley is problematic because it forces you to have an outside cat in a threatened woodland environment

[jame7t]

when you see a Good post, you can say "HEEHO" when the post is Bad, the post is "wawoo"

[somemerchant]

Wawoo

[jame7t]

shut the fuck up 

[tomhardysurinal]

I have never wanted to open a spam email so badly

[potatochangbin]

i saw this posted on pinterest and i NEED to add the funniest comment ever

[beardedmrbean]

the anesthetic apparently hasn't fully worn off yet

[crazy-brazilian]

Ping 200

[no-one-offical]

‎

[pitbolshevik]

gonna bat a hornets nest right before i go to bed and say that it's extremely funny to me when people complain about how nobody properly trains/socializes their dogs and then turn around and get mad because they saw a dog at like...lowes or a dog friendly cafe. like babe what do you think socialization is exactly

[pitbolshevik]

inb4 "nobody ever says this" i once got a series of very angry anons because i mentioned offhandedly that i might want to bring my puppy to an explicitly dog friendly cafe. i had a bunch of people get angry at me and tell me to "just go to the dog park" because i mentioned bringing my 9 week old puppy to Michael's (the one in my area is dog friendly. i asked.)

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

[evilkaito]

i dont think whites understand how being white makes literally everything easier.

it effects everything.

being trans is easier when youre white.

being gay is easier when youre white.

being disabled is easier when youre white.

being a woman is easier when youre white.

being autistic is easier when youre white.

oppression is eased when you are white, as you get extra privileges, and your whiteness is seen as a positive characteristic that in some ways counter-balances your other forms of being a minority. whiteness controls everything.

you are automatically way more innocent in your own oppression as a gay, trans, disabled person because of your whiteness.

never forget this.

[raccoon-piss]

three things:

1. it’s true

2. white people get pissed when i bring this up/wear this shirt

3. the comments to this thread melted my fucking eyeballs seriously why the fuck are y’all like this

[lady-hibiscus]

white people you don’t need to say you’re white when you reblog this btw. you don’t even need to mention it btw

[autiegem]

[ID: picture of a black person wearing a black t-shirt and gesturing to the print on it with their hands. the printed white text reads “across cultures, darker people suffer most. why?” with the quote attributed to (andre) 3000. end ID.]

[gemini-enthusiast]

Hilariously funny that they let the guy known for wandering off without warning to look at birds was allowed to do this

[songofsaraneth]

#famously few birds in space#probably the safest place to take him

[savannahsdrabbles]

It’s always my favorite character

[just-a-space-rabbit]

[viohra]

The Angel of Death

FISTS YOU

And then you Die

[viohra]

Context: my teacher translated the verb “to grasp with one’s hand” as “to fist” since that’s kinda what it literally means, but you can’t translate it like that into English because “to fist” means something ENTIRELY different, but she doesn’t know that.

So she was explaining how they use the verb to describe the angel of death taking your soul — he rips your soul out of you with his fist. Now that’s pretty damn metal, but she said word for word “the angel of death fists you, and then you die” which is the single most terrifying and powerful sentence to ever grace my ears

[cassidyrld]

Op i appreciate the context but i was going to rb anyway no questions asked

[gonsplode]

[a-book-of-creatures]

Mutuals feel free to pick me up and drop me off in front of prime real estate that’s all mine

I will be scared but I will appreciate it

[emjoy398]

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Your pets only love you because you feed them”

Yeah well that’s also how your relationship with your parents starts out but more stuff happens after that doesn’t it

[homunculus-argument]

Hey idk who needs this but helpful reminder that "virgin blood" in any witchcraft shit that requires that means "virgin" in the same sense as "virgin hair" means hair that hasn't been dyed or processed in any way, natural in the default sense. So no, "virgin blood" doesn't mean blood from a virgin, just blood that hasn't been used for any other kind of witchy shit earlier.

Whether nor not someone has fucked before is completely irrelevant. Any act of fucking doesn't instantly make someone contaminated or un-magic any of their shit. You're just not supposed to re-use blood for blood magic. That's just not. Just do not. Like that's just weird who does that.