Mads

The worlds fucked but at least I can talk to gay people on the internet they/them

[gloriouswastelandfury]

Chapters: 7/? Fandom: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard Characters: Neil Josten, Original Neil Josten Children, Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day, David Wymack, The Foxes | Palmetto State Foxes Members (All For The Game), Abby Winfield Additional Tags: Trans Neil Josten, Past Trans Mpreg | Trans Male Pregnancy, Past Rape/Non-con, Demisexual Neil Josten, Fuck AI, Kid Fic, Parental David Wymack, Parental Abby Winfield, Teen Parent Neil Josten, the fear of becoming your parents, maybe I'm projecting, i don't make the rules, my ADHD does, unpredictable updates, ranges from days to 3 weeks, and refuses to tell me anything Summary:

Neil Josten was never good at staying still. It had been ingrained in him from the moment his mother took him and ran.

The night his father's people had caught up to them again for the last time, his mother was too busy bleeding out and forcing him to repeat her rules of survival to warn him of the potential consequences of the horrific act he had undergone only hours prior. So he burned the feeling of rough hands and torn clothes alongside his mother and their most recent identites, and continued on as his mother had instructed him to. It wasn't until several months later he had realized the one downside of running from his past - sometimes it punishes your ignorance.

Now three years later in Millport with his little girl in one arm and an offer to join the Palmetto Foxes in the palm of his hand, Neil must decide if slowing down to give Sophie the life she deserves is worth the risk of being discovered by his father.

Is truly living for a few months enough of a reason to tempt fate?

[clementinecloudz]

Lil baby stickies draft

[grzechny-aniol]

i hate when there's people in public areas

[gloriouswastelandfury]

I also hate when I am there

[instigatorjosten]

neil is an unreliable narrator, not because he wants to lie as a means of survival, even if it would make sense for his runaway ass character. its just that the books are about Him and nobody knows neil josten less than neil josten. he not only has no clue who he is because he was never allowed to develop a personality with no lies, but he also doesn’t fucking care enough about discovering who he even is. the least self aware character got a microphone put in his hands and asked to do a monologue with no warning.

[chaoticgremelin]

I find It kind of wild that people somehow think Kevin handled the whole 'Neil is actually Nathaniel' thing badly or in a wrong way, because I honestly cannot see It.

When he finds out, the first thing he does, as soon as he is able to talk to Neil in private, is tell him to RUN, bolt, save his life. They are going to lose the season, yes, It is going to suck, but Neil needs to run before It is too late.

Neil tells him he doesnt want to. Explains his decision to him. And Kevin....respects it. Because there is no good choice for Neil in the moment. He can stay and die or he can run and maybe delay his death in a few years. This is not a easy choice to make and Kevin respects and accepts whatever Neil has decided.

This doesn't mean he likes It or that he is fine with losing Neil. Just means that there is nothing either of them can do about the fact there are way too powerful people who want Neil's head on a silver platter.

Then Neil asks Kevin to not tell Andrew, and Kevin immediately understands why. He says with all the words: "Andrew wouldnt respect your choice"

Because Kevin understands there is no good or safe choice for Neil and he understands the least he can do is allow Neil to autonomy to decide.

Most of all, Kevin keeps Neil's secret. Not because he wants to keep It, but because Neil asked him to. Kevin understands this is the most he can do for Neil in that situation.

He cannot fight the Butcher, much less the Moriyamas (neither can Andrew). He cannot make Neil stop being Nathaniel. He cannot stop the people that are after him

But he can respect Neil's choice and keep his secret. So he does. Even If he knows this will make Andrew mas at him. Because for most of Kevin's life, he had all his choices made for him, because where Kevin comes from, keeping secrets was the most power he could ever have.

It baffles me that there are people who think he has somehow been selfish of done something absurd here.

[gloriouswastelandfury]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard Characters: Neil Josten, Original Neil Josten Children, Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day, David Wymack, The Foxes | Palmetto State Foxes Members (All For The Game), Abby Winfield Additional Tags: Trans Neil Josten, Past Trans Mpreg | Trans Male Pregnancy, Past Rape/Non-con, Demisexual Neil Josten, Fuck AI, Kid Fic, Parental David Wymack, Parental Abby Winfield, Teen Parent Neil Josten, the fear of becoming your parents, maybe I'm projecting, but it's terrifying Summary:

Neil Josten was never good at staying still. It had been ingrained in him from the moment his mother took him and ran.

The night his father's people had caught up to them again for the last time, his mother was too busy bleeding out and forcing him to repeat her rules of survival to warn him of the potential consequences of the horrific act he had undergone only hours prior. So he burned the feeling of rough hands and torn clothes alongside his mother and their most recent identites, and continued on as his mother had instructed him to. It wasn't until several months later he had realized the one downside of running from his past - sometimes it punishes your ignorance.

Now three years later in Millport with his little girl in one arm and an offer to join the Palmetto Foxes in the palm of his hand, Neil must decide if slowing down to give Sophie the life she deserves is worth the risk of being discovered by his father.

Is truly living for a few months enough of a reason to tempt fate?

[gloriouswastelandfury]

Snippet for chapter 6 of my fic… should be out this week. It’s going to be a little long (I’m not done yet and already have 5000 words but hopefully it’s not more than 7000 or 8000)

I mostly just wanted to test out the Ellipsus plus function because I got a free trial lol.

[gloriouswastelandfury]

When I just want to read more of my fic but then I remember that it’s MY fic and that means I have to actually write it:

[madamoisellemabry]

i do think there’s a world where ilya tells cliff marleau about the friendship plan and cliff is like “well if ur cover story is friendship than we need to make ur reputation with friends super gay king” and ilya is like “bro … you would do that … for us …” and cliff is like “no worries big dawg”. because like, hollander doesn’t do the gay for the homies thing naturally, but if roz has a reputation, it won’t be weird if he does it in public even if hollsy doesn’t reciprocate. cliff is a genius.

anyway, that’s how the internet spends a year speculating that ilya rozanov and cliff marleau have explored each others bodies. they are so all over each other and constantly tweeting gay shit about each other that ilya’s time with shane barely even gets a second glance. the first time ilya drags shane out to meet cliff, a photo gets posted on twitter and everyone is like “poor shane having to third wheel these two #ally”.

obviously shane is gnawing on furniture because he’s so jealous, but the plan does work. and when they get outed, cliff works it into his best man speech.

[themooninfrunami]

oh old married couples of the pitt how i love you so

[justslightlyconfused]

That ‘comment on your a03 work’ email hits like a line of cocaine every time. unmatched dopamine increase. shoutout to everyone who leaves a comment on fics. you deserve the world

[exylover32]

do you guys ever think about andrew abruptly ending most of his and neil's conversations by saying "i'm done talking to you now. go away" and neil listening every single time and how that was probably one of the first things to make andrew wonder if neil would respect his "no" in other situations

[pixiishi]

thinking of trans allegory neil josten. chose a new name and identity for himself and desperately wants to move forward and live his life as such. to carve a path for himself other than the one he was forced into from birth. wishing he could leave his old name and past behind.

unwilling to let others see his body, covered in scars. always opting to change alone. covering himself up as much as he can. baggy shirts and faded jeans. hiding a binder (even if in canon it isn’t that kind) with his life.

letting any of these things slip would have disastrous consequences for him. he’ll do anything to prevent that. very few get to have the truth, or even a sliver of it, shared with them. trusted with them.

because he believes it can never last. he can’t be neil josten forever.

and yet, and yet, and yet. despite the secrets he keeps, the foxes love him. they accept him and will fight for him because they are family. and even after his world ends, and everybody knows, he is able to find his way back home to them. and they are not letting go.

asking, “can i really be neil again?" and his anchor, andrew, replying, "i told neil to stay. leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father.” like. i’m so normal. i’m soooo normal.

[agathah]

jeaneil platonic soulmates i wil never recover

[z0mbiemind]

Neil and Matt‘s friendship>>

I think Matt would find it completely normal that Neil's always sleeping, considering all the training and the extra night sessions💀

[jewelcoatfish]

au where before the draft after the prospect cup the hollanders were talking about ilya, and yuna made an off hand comment about how he would be very nervous for the draft because he’ll be on his own from then forward and how lonely she felt when she first came to canada with her parents and go to school and speak a language she wasn’t entirely fluent yet. and shane sort of remembered it, as he does with everything about his potential rival, and when ilya asked him if boston is nice, he suddenly remembered his mom and maybe this smug asshole who was so fucking annoying being the first draft pick would actually be quite lonely there, as far as shane knew. so he tried chatting a little more, and ilya was also a little scared about moving to a different city, admittedly, that he welcomed the boy that shook his hand twice in saskatchewan.

and they became friends, they were still battling their shit out in the ice but off it they go out and have breakfast and dinner with shane’s parents sometimes because yuna really liked this boy who was not only shane’s friend but exceptional at hockey, and she overcame her detest for boston in favour of this sweet boy who was so adamant on getting the bill on a fucking rookie contract just because he was in boston. so ilya spends time in shane’s montreal apartment and the hollander’s sometimes during short periods of break, or that gap between boston/montreal being out of playoffs but they still have stuff to do so ilya couldn’t go back to russia yet, and they basically do all the best friends stuff and hang out in both boston and montreal whenever they can. they have their own room in each other’s place, of course, but they usually ended up gossiping about other players so much they fall asleep next to each other anyway (it’s not at all because neither wanted to leave they stayed there for as long as possible, seriously)

and they still fucked, obviously, with ilya justifying it as he also fucked one of his other best friend, it’s safe and they trust each other and they can stop anytime and still be friends, and shane believes that. anyway it does add on to the angst for the realisation or the tuna meltdown of this au, but yeah they overcame it because they can’t live without each other and at some point sexual attraction and platonic love and romantic love had ingrained so deep in their souls that there’s nothing they could do about it

[mutinsfromthemoon]

they’re all gathered together at the end of one of bood’s BBQ and is just some of the guys and their partners. and then lisa, wyatt’s wife comes up with a question “what are you guys hall pass?” and then all of them start picking very hot actors and actress and all of sudden troy just blurts “shane” all single head snaps towards to him and he just shrugs and taking a sip of his beer and harris at his side just agrees “yeah we talk about it actually and it’s shane for both of us” “very good jokes guys” ilya just say in a unamused voice and harris goes “it’s true, troy even told me that before he knew you guys were together he was gonna ask you for shane’s number” ilya snap towards troy “YOU ALMOST WHAT?” “he’s lisa hall pass too, and if i liked boys he’s probably would be mine as well” wyatt chimes in with a huge grin on his face and his wife just nods and winks at ilya “im not liking this at all can we move on to another topic?” ilya says exasperated and everyone cracks up at his despair and bood asks “i don’t know why you’re surprised, isn’t shane like the hottest NHL player?” “i know, what i didn’t know is my friends wanted a piece of my man!” ilya groans and everyone laughs even harder. and shane, poor sweet oblivious shane, he’s lost he has no idea what a hall pass is.