I am apparently working on becoming a local cryptid at the store. Talents include:
Monitoring the changing of the seasons via mozzarella
Predicting the weather by picking up a piece of cheese and mysteriously saying “oh, the storm is gonna be bigger than we thought…” just before thunder
Mind reading, e.g. “Can you help me find a cheese? It’s called, uh… [starts fishing out shopping list]” “Gruyere?” “…yes O_o”
Mozzarella doubles in sales in the span of a week, right about when the first tomatoes show up
Cheese that I’ve wrapped in plastic will acquire condensation in a few seconds when it’s about to rain big time
“Gruyere” is always the cheese people want to show me on their list rather than try to pronounce it.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Cheesewitching. I respect it.
