Oh, go fish

I'm not actually funny I'm just funny looking

[charl0ttan]

i think once u successfully win a debate there should be a period where they let you get out all the ad hominems you were holding back

[realshy]

like this i think

[charl0ttan]

[lunarlagomorph]

I think ive said it before but you really gotta feel bad for oedipus that wanting to fuck your mother got named after him. He really did not want to do that . It is central to oedipus rex how badly he didnt want to do that. Dick move by freud

[onecells]

YOU🫵'RE 🫵 NE->XT.!! moTHERFUCKER!!!!

GET LOVED!!!!!!!!!!

[neunhofferart]

Nearly pissed myself laughing earlier when I saw this absolute Looney Tunes truck attempting to transport an oversized mattress down the road with only a couple tiny bungee cords holding on for dear life, while it ballooned out behind the truck like a drag racing parachute:

[cpericardium]

at the euthanasia party everyone gets a sip of the forbidden lean

[tastyrepulsorboots]

Yeah, same

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[depsidase]

[furiosa-femininst]

[fishing-princess]

People hate it when one girl is super clingy and obsessive to a concerning degree. But what if both girls in a relationship were super clingy and obsessive to a concerning degree? What could possibly go wrong?

[fishing-princess]

Somewone who understabds me…

[theblackparadeisalive]

quote from the prelude to "sleep" performed during my chemical romance's "long live the black parade" tour

instagram: (x)

[cottoncandylesbo]

(alien being shown yaoi) and you're saying, the men... have sex with each other? the men?

(alien being shown yuri) ohhh ya we do this shit too lmao

[temothylol]

[cloudabserk]

i love reddit

[cloudabserk]

i’ve been looking into this and wow. size difference. long time rivals. opposite playing styles. born in the same hospital. nba player lebron went to see steph curry play while still in college. maybe the redditors are right

[steampunkforever]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[kraken17]

"That is Signal, the Last Follower of the Old Law."

[acefuruya]

I genuinely appreciate how obsession doesn't try to frame bear as morally grey but just fully leans into how deplorable he is. a lesser movie would have tried to give him redeeming moments along the way but no, at every single crossroads bear makes the wrong choice. when the customer service rep asks him if he wants to cancel his wish, he says no, and asks to alter it. when nikki, the real one, begs him to kill her, he asks her "if it would be so bad to love him", and right at the end, backs out of killing himself and tries to throw the pills up. he is the villain, not another victim, not a confused, cowardly boy, the villain.

[cicatrixtwigs]

I also loved that their friends reaction wasn't "wow another crazy jealous bitch" but "Bear she's clearly going through something and it looks like you are taking advantage of her"

[3000s]

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

[3000s]

- mockup of results from my new search engine called "Google OCD"

[girldraki]

[leavethepuddle]

@sarumans

[aberrantemotion]

Always funny to me when indie devs who already sell games for dirt cheap participate in steam sales with like 90 percent off. Like. "Yeah this game is three dollars but you can have it for one right now." Like your game costs as much as a pack of m&ms and youre selling it for the cost of a pack of m&ms in the 1950s now? Okay