Gob Bluth is Valid

im gay and love vegetables

[melancholic-whimsy]

they hate me for my flat facial expressions and inability to contribute to conversations

[ewaneneollav]

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app

[aire1111]

she didnt block me on pinterest so im sending her madd pictures of ghouls and devils

[cadaverkeys]

people hiding their vampirism is soooo tired. its 2020 no one cares anymore.

[83250174847038809410480855234-d]

If my girl friends want to see my tits, I will simply show them

[calebwittebane]

okay this is REALLY funny actually

[calebwittebane]

Chess Is For Men. Women Wouldn't Get It.

[podencos]

Has anyone else been in the strangest, most indecipherable headspace of their life lately

[brucebocchi]

i’m taking an offensive driving course so i can learn techniques to make other drivers on the road hate me and want to t-bone my car into smithereens

[brucebocchi]

*does a gay little drive that pisses you off*

[sowiesosoo]

[teratomarty]

Please tell me this is the Spring 2020 new hot Look.

[drtanner]

BOY IT IS NOW

[geniusoflove]

what is it about having anxiety that makes you so insane. like every time i go to my job where i work i expect someone to tell me to leave. like i walk in and im like well i bet im not supposed to be here. even though all signs point to me needing to be there

[geniusoflove]

paperwork: you work here at this store

schedule: this is when you are going to be working 

my boss: see you later when youre working 

me, showing up to work: im not supposed to be here. this is so embarrassing. i dont even work here. is this the right store

[eugeniedanglars]

honestly my dream is to not be famous myself, but to be married to a famous person purely so i could go to events full of other famous people and pretend i’ve never heard of any of them. i would love to watch the look on leonardo di caprio’s face as i ask him what he does for a living and, when he incredulously tells me he’s an actor, take a sip of my drink and ask, “and how’s that working out for you?”

[lilcowgirl7-deactivated20210223]

[wellbutrinboy]

ten stupid things i’ve done out of a compulsive need to be liked (cringe compilation)

[metagnostic-deactivated20200809]

i'm a nasty hag, welcome to my evil hut. i'm not trying to be a bitch but you seem all kinds of fucked up, are you ok? please have some soup and stop to rest a while

[stuffedgrapeleaves]

i can’t believe we’re all young professionals and academics and we’re still logging on to tumblr.com every single day to clown on ourselves. who let this happen

[hackedalien-deactivated20150201]

World Population : 7,810,521,683 

just in case somebody start feelin too important

[bulbahaur-deactivated20160607]

7,810,521,682 and me

[cxndaquil]

This is my absolute favorite post ever i even saved the image on my laptop under the name of “and me” in a special folder with nothing but this image

[butchmime]