Bleurg @godsdamnednamethieves - Tumblr Blog

I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide

demotu-writes

ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):

ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").

Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.

conceptofzero

To explain for the rest of the world: Canada's switch from Imperial to Metric was in the 1970s. As such, most of us grew up in homes that were full of items using Imperial (ovens, scales, etc). As well, since we traditionally have bought things manufactured in America, those items also come with Imperial units on them. It's the same thing with work - a lot of equipment comes from America or we work for multi-national companies based out of America.

We can also blame Brian Mulroney for pausing the metric conversation partway through in 1985. It was too late to go back but it did mean that not everything was forced to fully transfer over so here we are, stuck in the middle.

Check out the wiki for more weird edge cases such as land being measured in acres, and consumer items being sold with metric weights but in standard Imperial quantities.

nationwidedornermoment

The last of the classically trained tumblrinas

pissed-whizard

kitchen1

I wish I took a better pic of this writing in a bar bathroom in toronto bc I think of it so often. Be So Completely Yourself That No One Is Attracted To You Or Wants To Employ You

cottoncandylesbo

you can't convince me to ever give a shit about easter cuz i know that rabbit isnt real. (looks around nervously) (grips my axe a little tighter) i know it.

hotvampireadjacent

formlessdemi

hopeless-eccentric

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

sandersstudies

Yesterday I almost cried because my baby cousin ran up to my grandmother and was like. “Ha! Buhbuh ba ha.” And she said okay you want to show me something? And he led her over to the garden patch and crouched down and pointed at rocks and plants and was like. “Ah. Habah ba ah” as she listened attentively.

And I was like that happened 1,000 years ago. Probably 10,000 years ago. Maybe 100,000. The youngest human in a group went to the oldest one and said to the best of their ability “come see.” And the adult went.

3liza

this is such a beautiful post it doesn't need my dumb addition, but i can't fit this in the tags. at the archaeological site Dolni Vestonice in the Czech Republic there are a bunch of really really fascinating finds and I'm only going to tell you about one tiny detail of one of the most interesting sites in the world.

at this settlement 20-30,000 years ago there lived a person who appears to have been a sort of sorcerer-grandmother-ceramics artist and her workshop was preserved very well in the sedimentary layers. her hut where she had her kilns was full of little sculptures of animals and people that seem to have been made to explode in the kiln on purpose, we're not sure why but nevermind. the relevant detail is that when you sculpt something with your hands and then fire it, your fingerprints can be preserved in the surface of the clay forever, so we have fingerprints of ancient ceramics artists that have survived for tens of thousands of years. and one of the major artifacts from Dolni Vestonice has a fingerprint on it that is so small it could only have belonged to a child

so this shaman-grandmother-sculptor, who was buried with her pet fox by the way, had children running through her workshop and touching everything she made while she was at her mysterious work of creating the world's oldest ceramics, none of which appear to be bowls, bottles, pots, or any "useful" items at all, but rather a collection of animal and human and sometimes anthropomorphic figures, some of which appear to be self portraits. exactly the same as sandersstudios' grandmother being led to the garden by an excited baby. we've all been the same for 30,000 years.

blue0909

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

godsdamnednamethieves

It's to cut down on gender reveal-based catastrophes. It's for the greater good

maniakminis

quit your job

join my band of mercenaries

notactuallyherefor

How's the dental?

maniakminis

you can have all the teeth you can carry

bark-barkley

I WANT TO LOOK AT THINGS MADE BY HUMAN BEINGS

softwetmoss

And also occasionally by pufferfish

timeloopfemme

SCHOOL should always be your second priority. your first priority should always be committing STRANGE behaviors with your FRIENDS

c3rvida3

The last time I played Puck, the director was a huge freak about not letting us wear shoes on stage because it would "ruin the look", but we all kept eating shit, and instead of just letting us wear skintone dance shoes or something with grip, motherfucker poured Pepsi on the floor so it'd be sticky and we had to schlorp around. I fucking hate you, David.

saltykingsalty

Why couldn't this have been a one time I dreamt

c3rvida3

Coking the stage (mopping it with diluted soda so it's a little sticky) is a legitimate low-budget tactic for slick floors, but he just poured so much Pepsi on the floors that for about a whole week, it was audible.

Maybe the course of true love would run a little fucking smoother if we didn't have to ford your Pepsi river, DAVID.