hellsite

young adult woman

[genderkoolaid]

The discussion around the tattoo is making me (gq) remember how a past relationship failed specifically because my transfem partner at the time COULD NOT have a conversation about my reproductive organs. Any mention of my uterus sent her into a three hour silence refusing to talk or look at me.

We lived in a red state where abortion was banned. I wanted to talk about a plan about unwanted pregnancy before having sex because it would seriously ruin my life if we weren’t prepared. She wanted to have PIV without that conversation because it was too dysphoric for her.

The refusal to deal with the realities of our bodies isn’t just some sort of “harmless” infighting.

(Prev anon about relationship) Even to this day, I feel bad mentioning anything about that relationship because I know people will use it as an excuse to be transphobic towards transfems in general. I hate how there’s a culture of covering up for community members’ bad behavior. I hate how, no matter what, the pressure is for me as a trans neutral person to remain silent about my experiences for the good of everyone else.

yeah that's so fucking shitty. to demand silence from other people, especially other trans people, on their bodies and how they shape their lives because of one's own dysphoria, is egocentric and cruel. especially in the context of being able to get another person pregnant, and ignoring the weight of that because its uncomfortable. & i've heard that exact sentiment from a number of trans men&mascs, not being able to talk about experiences of abuse out of their of it being weaponized.

and also like. i think transfeminism is stronger than this actually. I do not think that perisex trans women not being affected by the specific kind of reproductive misogyny that targets people who can get pregnant means they aren't oppressed or have gender privilege over people who can get pregnant or are fundamentally male in any kind of way. i don't even really think people who can get others pregnant are inherently "privileged" in the sense people use it. like truly trans women are profoundly oppressed on the basis of gender in so many ways, and themselves are targeted by sexual and reproductive violence. none of this means that if you are in a relationship with someone where abortion is illegal and you could impregnate them, that you don't have a responsibility to that person.

i truly believe that aversion to nuance is, amongst other things, a product of trauma and fear and pain and also a lack of trust or faith in oneself or others to be able to handle that nuance and navigate it. i don't think this is the only thing behind The Discourse (tm) but i do think that people truly do not believe that we can care about all of these things at once.

[goldenfield]

Males oppressing females due to their biology/reproductive potential (or lack of thereof) extends to leftism and isn't exclusive to the right, as shown above

[fact-fem-deactivated20221001]

If trans women would just acknowledge that they're men who alter themselves to look like women, in order to ease dysphoria, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I'm all for men wearing skirts. I'm all for men enjoying whatever stereotypically feminine things they enjoy. I'll even support medical transition, provided you're over eighteen, understand the health risks, and have faced persistent dysphoria.

The problem is that they've redefined "woman" to be a feeling. I can no longer use "woman" to discuss the tangible reality of having a female body. Presenting as women isn't enough for them, they have to be women.

Not only does this erode my ability to discuss sex-specific issues, but it leads to self-identification policies that allow men into female-only spaces. Female-only spaces that were created because of the physical threat men pose to women.

I was accused of "driving a shiv between cis and trans women," when I tried to discuss how cis women, face different issues from trans women. I didn't even say that trans women aren't women, but acknowledging a difference at all was enough to elicit hostility. (Their follow-up sentence was, "Someone should drive a shiv through you.")

My issue with the trans movement isn't dysphoric individuals trying to feel comfortable, but the denial of how biology impacts our lives.

[ruuling]

i saw this post a couple days ago and i just can't stop thinking about it. i've been asking the people i'm in dialogue how it's different and nobody has an answer. so tell me how it's different.

[scourgefell]

I'm gonna do something really controversial. Going to debunk the claim that JK Rowling posted an upskirt photo of a trans women.

Why? Am I defending JK Rowling? No. She still misgendered Freda and made fun of her appearance. She still sucks here and is a bigot.

I'm doing this because I believe calling this upskirting and sexual assault diminishes the meaning of both terms, because the photo posted objectively does not meet the definition.

Here is the photo JK Rowling posted of Freda.

This image comes from a live debate filmed two years ago. You can see at about 25 minutes in that this image comes from the exact same camera angle that the debate was being filmed from. It is the view that the audience would see of Freda the entire length of the debate.

[Screenshot from the debate video]

It is not an upskirt. This is simply what Freda looks like from a front view, while sitting down in the outfit she was wearing. If this is an "upskirt" and therefore sexual assault, than the entire audience and the camera crew was sexually assaulting her as well for simply viewing her from the front.

https://youtu.be/Va3i-_Fbfpo

[maira7]

[pseudonaivete]

Men love women’s bodies, we are told, but only after women spend an inordinate amount of time whipping their bodies into a lovable shape—by dieting, shaving, waxing, dying, perfuming, covering with makeup, douching, and starving them.

Jane Ward, The Tragedy of Heterosexuality

[creatures-alive]

Swimming wolf… by Daniel Parent

[adequately]

fairyclub

[zegalba]

[pillarsalt]

To be male and have such an intense lesbian fetish that you spend all your waking hours pretending you actually are one... that's honestly terrifying, disturbed behaviour. Acting out your fetish in public and forcing people to play along for your gratification is already reprehensible, but the added element of using an incredibly marginalized group of women to do it? Just completely revolting and unforgivable.

[doingitatmybirthdaydinner]

the idea of being a lesbian trapped in a man's body used to be a common joke because of its obvious incoherence. it was considered totally laughable that a man could be a lesbian, and now it's genuinely social suicide to admit that as a female lesbian, you don't think that male lesbians exist. we are supposed to actually take these men seriously, and it is on US to manage THEIR emotions and validate THEIR identities. we are supposed to make them feel safe in our spaces, even though they make us feel unsafe. we can't be too loud about our "genital preference", aka our homosexuality, because it might hurt their very delicate feelings. we can't mention that lesbian sex does not include penis, because of their delicate feelings. somehow though, they manage to discern who can really be a lesbian when they log into the lesbian porn category on pornhub. how did we get here. it's like the twilight zone. male lesbians......

[gender-critical-butch]

why is gender dysphoria the only mental illness that’s “affirmed”?

granted i’m not a professional psychiatrist but i can’t think of any other mental illness where the unwell patient makes a statement about reality and that statement is “affirmed.” a patient with a restrictive ED states they need to be severely underweight to be worthy as a person, a patient with OCD states that if they don’t repeat same ritualistic behavior something terrible is going to happen to them, a patient with depression states that the world would be better off without them in it…all of these hypothetical patients are making statements about reality as a result of what their mental illness/disorder is telling them. but no therapist in their right mind would “affirm” any of these beliefs because they’re obviously the result of a mind that is unwell and “affirming” these individuals would just make them sicker by pushing them deeper into their unhealthy line of thinking.

the same cannot be said of gender dysphoria, where a patient states that they were born in the wrong body/they should have been the opposite sex and that belief about reality is then “affirmed” by medical professionals. in not all, but many cases it’s “affirmed” with barely any questioning/pushback at all. there are a lot of things about “gender affirming care” that i find concerning, but i think the most questionable thing of all literally comes down to it’s name.

i mean if you ever wonder why the trans community is the way it is just think about what would happen if a therapist “affirmed” their patient with social anxiety by saying they’re correct about their friends and family secretly hating them, or “affirmed” their patient with anorexia by saying they’re correct about needing to eat a dangerously low calorie diet… the individual would inevitably get sicker, pushed deeper into their disordered thinking. they might even become passionately adamant about the fact that they’re correct to be thinking the way they do to an almost unhinged degree because their doctor, an individual with power who is more educated than the average person, “affirmed” them and said that they’re right. and it feels really fucking good to be told you’re right, it can become pretty damn intoxicating…

[sorrrowfull]

[joykillerrr]

[doingitatmybirthdaydinner]

so this straight woman posted some bullshit about why lesbians date masculine women when they could just “date a man” instead because masc lesbians are basically men anyway and are “lacking in equipment”, and this stud I follow stitched it and said what you see on the screen. then I commented in agreement saying that lesbians are same-sex attracted, not same clothing style attracted, and my comment was getting likes and the creator liked it.

but of course, I mentioned that lesbians are same-sex-attracted and like pussy so it only took a few hours for the “this is transphobic” crowd to show up. I’d love to know their response to the straight woman’s question about why lesbians date women who literally have everything in common with men except their female sex. what? their internal identity? I’m so fucking over it as you can see in my mean asf responses

[the-land-of-women]

‘I don’t feel like a girl’ ‘I don’t feel like a boy’ well great they’re not feelings, now you can stop worrying about it ❤️

[loserdogma]

“I don’t feel like green eyes. I don’t feel like brown hair.”

Like bestie, at worst you can superficially hide them for the rest of your existence; at best you can simply live and let be.

[saintpng]

[julisworking]

Bjork // 1994

[ix-the-hermit]

computa show me jobs that require no standing up no socialising no customer service no team meetings no showing up no experience and send