do you ever get so frustrated with a video game that you are no longer rational and you start literally jumping into pits because maybe thats the fucking solution to this bullshit of a dungeon puzzle
Stranger Things
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@goodthoughtslikesunbeams
do you ever get so frustrated with a video game that you are no longer rational and you start literally jumping into pits because maybe thats the fucking solution to this bullshit of a dungeon puzzle
Professor X asks a girl, “what is your mutant power?”
Girl replies: “I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!”
She points up and says: “3 pulls”
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: “Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power…”
Girl: “Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics”
Professor X, still standing: “Oh my god”
CHANGE YOUR NAME JEFF
“I hope this email finds you well”
How this email finds me:
MY LONGEST YEAH BOY EVER
bringing this meme format back since history is repeating itself.
I love that Geralt is like “I was beaten and starved” when talking about his childhood training, and is constantly trying to get Ciri to rest, eat, and feel good about herself. Geralt says the cycle of violence ends with me; meanwhile, Ciri’s over here:
crazy how many posts act like tumblr had NO say in this at all because. it’s unlikely that apple provided tumblr with a massive list of all the specific tags to ban and more likely that apple is making increasingly unreasonable demands about nsfw content and tumblr, which will never take on the task of actual moderation on this webbed site, probably did some shit like “let’s ban all the tags that are turning up X amount of flagged posts” or whatever
like, tumblr chose their own method for complying with whatever outrageous thing apple was asking, and in true tumblr form, the method they chose is the most unproductive, non-functional thing imaginable
anyway you can blame both apple and tumblr for their respective roles in this specific turn of events, you don’t have to pick one
THE FUCKING PUNCHLINE, I’M ENDED
why is your cat green?
She’s built different 😌
Look i tried to laugh it off, but I haven’t stopped thinking about this message because… my cat literally isn’t green
like where is the green
Oh Christ
This is the color your cat is
colors i eyedropped directly from op's cat
I drew a tree using only colours eyedropped from OP's cat.
every time i see this post all i see is some green alien kitty with antennae so i had to draw it
I originally thought those were supposed to be mushrooms, implying that this cat is moldy
Moldy forest cat
i'm happy y'all made fan art of my cat. i tried to show her and she just rubbed her face on my phone
This is the real photo
Who on God’s green earth photoshopped their butt cracks to be larger and smaller. Why would anyone do this.
not to start drama in the history fandom but some of yall out there have really bad opinions and also no critical thinking skills
also while I’m here: historical figures aren’t your fandom faves. they’re real people who had profound and often terrible effects on other real people. you can’t apply fandom logic to them. you can’t fill in the blanks with no evidence other than you like the idea. you can’t vilify some of them while simultaneously stanning over “”misunderstood babies”” who committed equal atrocities. and perhaps most importantly of all, you can’t treat real history as “canon” and develop AUs where your fave is exactly how you want them to be with none of the nasty bits attached. that’s not how you read history. that’s how you get a painfully obvious bias which makes your conclusions and contributions useless.
it’s ok u can say hamilton
full disclosure i was talking about the soviet union idk what’s going on in the hamilton sphere and i wanna keep it that way
you’re talking about what
this post was like three roller coasters smashing into each other
its so cute when coffee and tea are like “start with fresh, filtered water” thats sweet beloved, you’re getting tap.
Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post
And the update
She buttered Jorts
The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:
FINALLY
I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:
“There’s a cure?!” asked the girl that kills everything she touches. “Hey shut up we’re perf” replied the girl that makes clouds.
For real though. Storm has stopped an entire tsunami before. “Makes clouds my ass” she can conjure lightning and tornadoes and is revered as a god in her tribe. She literally changes atmospheric pressure and that’s how she flies. So fuck you. Storm is flawless.
I think you missed the part where the GIRL WHO KILLS EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES wants to NOT KILL EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES and everyone dismisses her incredible misfortune just because the lady who is the AVATAR OF THE STORM won the fucking SUPERPOWER LOTTERY
“Finally, a cure for my chainsaw hands!” decreed Chainsaw-Hands Joe.
“There is no cure,” said Johnny Five-Dicks. “There’s nothing wrong with us.”
The last comment literally always cracks me up
The X-Men are an extremely good metaphor for oppressed minorities until they are suddenly an extremely terrible metaphor for oppressed minorities.
The scale on which the first reply misses the point literally never ceases to awe me.
I gotta say, though, this is a place where the X-men are being a good metaphor for oppressed minorities. Specifically, in this case, the disabled community.
“Yay, there’s a cure!” says the girl with depression. “Cure for what, motherfucker, I’m not sick,” says the person with autism.
“Yay, there’s a cure!” I say, with my fibromyalgia and random bad pain days. “Yes, because it’s easier to talk about eliminating us than talk about teaching sign language in school,” says the Deaf person. “‘Cure’ is violent rhetoric.”
The problem is, of course, that a vast number of things have been aggregated under the label of “disability,” and many of them don’t even resemble each other. Depression sucks in an objective fashion, whereas autism is just a way of being (which, like many ways of being, may suck at some times, and generally sucks worse when not accommodated). Similar deal with chronic pain versus the Deaf community. These things really should not be grouped together, but they are. And since they are grouped so haphazardly, they will often be at cross-purposes.
It is ridiculous, in the X-men universe, to classify all “mutants” as one group. You have ridiculously powerful people with little downside, you have powerful people with a major downside, you have people with very limited powers but few drawbacks, you have people with limited powers and massive drawbacks, and that’s not even getting into other divisions, like whether you look like a baseline human all the time, part of the time, or none of the time. “Realistically,” if you can apply that word to a fantasy universe, Storm and Rogue belong to completely different minorities which should require completely different approaches. But society has grouped them under one umbrella, or forced them to group themselves for self-protection, and thus you have conversations like the one above.
So it’s actually not a bad take. Mind you, the X-men have had bad takes, and will do so again, and I’m skeptical about whether “powers” of any kind even work for a metaphor about minority representation—but this particular vignette has something useful to say.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is exactly what bothers me about purely social analyses of disability.
boss asked me if i knew what a brony was today but he pronounced it like “brownie” then started explaining, but somehow I’M THE WEIRD ONE FOR INTERRUPTING WITH “Oh, you mean BRONYS, yeah, they do want to fuck horses!”
boss today asked me if I knew what a bear was and it took the incredible effort of forcing every bone in my body to solidify into one giant Super Bone and in the process fusing my jaw shut for me to stop myself from saying “uh, yeah dude, you but gay.”
boss texted me today about all the business we’ve been getting and i texted back “haha yup our dance card is getting pretty full!” followed immediately by two minutes of debilitating panic about whether that was an actual saying or just some nonsense I’d made up.
boss came to my office today strictly to tell me he got hamilton tickets and had the nerve to be insulted when i referred to him as “the biggest copycat there ever was.”
boss today texted me the most unorthodox elipsis i’ve ever seen
my boss’s parents and my parents each have vacation homes in the same retirement community, which is widely rumored to be a hotbed of sexual depravity, so sometimes i deliberately antagonize him by implying - very innocently and with plausible deniability - that our parents swing with each other
boss just came into my office to ask me a question, paused and said “what the FUCK are you listening to?” and when i sheepishly admitted it was a remix of the wii shop channel music, he just left.
op what is your occupation
Rascal.
Actress, Miriam Margolyes: When you know your worth, you know your worth.
She is beautiful and I love her.
She also recently said that JKR’s TERF remarks are fascist. So please, continue to stan a hero.
And she’s a signatory of Jews for Justice for Palestinians, was one of the first people to say ‘fuck’ on British TV, proudly called herself a dyke during a televised Australian citizenship ceremony with their PM, and has been with her partner since 1968.