The Universe’s Favorite

He/him | Personal Blog

[mapsontheweb]

Every state split in half by population – the densest half and least dense half

[knowledgetosorrow]

Me when i definitely know what halves are

[maximumsalt]

Oh you’re part of the densest half

[pillowspace]

I've been doing this thing on youraislopbores.me today where I ask people what one of their favourite fanfics is, and every time somebody gives me a specific answer, I locate the fic and let the author know in the comments that when an anonymous stranger was asked for their favourite fic, they answered with this one

[bester-jester]

God sent an angel down and her name is U-BLOCK ORIGIN and she has protected me ten million times. She says its not enough its only 31% but i need her to know she is everything to me.

[notlikingbestgirl]

Out of Touch

[is-it-out-of-touch-thursday]

Yes

[julianplum]

🐟🐟🌕🐟🐟🐟🐟 // swallowtail shiners // gouache on hot press paper

[bella-with-a-blog]

Baba is flip... no.... i will save her.

been playing a bit of baba is you ltely..... fun game i like

[dogpuppy]

[oneheadtoanother]

look at my head boy

[crtter]

[user-300]

Rotate that man until he shoots the light beam to the next piece of the puzzle.

[elvis-official]

hey Elvis is the glass half full or half empty to you?

Woah mama it depends on whether you're filling or emptying

[elvis-official]

Endless optimism is a foolish way to look at the world, unable to see the strife and suffering. Endless pessimism will never make anyone happy, especially not you. You need to take the good and the bad, the dark and the light, the full and the empty. Hummina hummina hummina

[noknowshame]

clearly some of you have not been to the labyrinth of pestilence deep beneath kentucky

[noknowshame]

alright so when I was a teenager I went to this bug-themed summer camp for socially stunted nerds and on the way back from it I visited the university of kentucky. I met with an entomologist there and while we were touring the department he asked "wanna see something cool?" so he took me down an elevator to what must've been a sub-sub-sub basement on a card-access only floor, and after turning several more corners we went through two sets of (I'm not even exaggerating) 12-inch thick doors, opening onto one long as fuck corridor. each side of this hallway was lined with about 50 refrigerators. and each and every single one of these refrigerators was filled with hundreds of thousands. of live. bedbugs. the very reasonable explanation for this was that they were doing research on insecticides and needed to test them on real samples, but they could not under any circumstances allow them to escape, so they had to be kept under area 51 levels of overkill containment. but reasonable or not that was very much not what I anticipated seeing that day. so yeah. I decided after that I did not want to become an entomologist

[curlicuecal]

absolutely baffled to get to the end of that story and hear you decide NOT to be an entomologist but possibly that's the entomologist in me speaking

[lizardsfromspace]

It feels almost unbelievable that there's an Olympics this year. Not just this year but next month. Like can you please come back another time thanks

[lizardsfromspace]

At least they're in Italy though

[lizardsfromspace]

[to-put-my-arms-in-fragile-hands]

(tags by @unashamedly-enthusiastic)

[yvesdot]

Alright, fine, here's the backstory about replacing my Microsoft Copilot key with a picture of a carp. Warning: that's the whole story.

When I bought my latest laptop, which coincidentally is already losing functionality in multiple keys, I noticed that the right Control button was no longer a right Control button. This was a bad sign for me, someone who fairly frequently used the right Control button. Worse still, it now bore the Microsoft Copilot logo and would open, when pressed, Microsoft Copilot. Not having personal interest in that particular robot, I was now in the market to rebind that key to something else.

I initially considered setting it up as my dedicated The Sims 2 button, but not only do I not yet have The Sims 2 installed on this computer, the way I play that game, it takes upwards of 15 minutes to boot up. I knew I would be constantly accidentally hitting this key, and I did not want to be constantly accidentally opening The Sims 2.

My partner immediately suggested that I set it to open "a jpeg of a fish." I Googled "carp," found an image, and set my right Control key to open a tiny browser window with a link to said fish. Though it is a .png file from pngtree labeled "pngtree-rohu-carp-fish-png-png-image_4022775.png", in an effort to display matrimonial piety, I dutifully labeled it "fish jpeg."

I now accidentally open this link multiple times a day, which is great, because it means I have a lot of opportunities to see a fish. Sometimes I accidentally hit it several times in quick succession, which means I get to see several fish! When I close all my open programs to shut down my computer, I usually find at least one forgotten fish. Things are working out beautifully, and everyone is happy.

The other day I brought up this story to a friend and relayed the saga of my success to her through her obvious confusion. At the end of my tale she asked me, "Why didn't you just bind it back to right Control?" and I had to admit to her that it honestly never occurred to me.

[goofusdoofus87]

MR. ELECTRIC, SEND HIM TO THE TASK MANAGER AND HAVE HIS PROCESS TERMINATED

[imperfectlibrarian]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. chair attack 🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑

[imperfectlibrarian]

This post is now about a far-right politician and one of the best moments of Brazilian live TV:

[askfordoodles]

appreciating the added context

[amethystsoda]

[aspen-090]

Lol

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

her voice was as silky as silken tofu. but her words were as firm as extra firm tofu

[whywishesarehorses]

happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!

[randomencounters]

Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Southern Hemisphere only)

[bill-nye-official-blog]

Special Event: All Horses' Birthday (Northern Hemisphere only)

[flightcub]

thursday needs a meme, here’s my attempt to contribute. it’s thursday and i’m here to help. thanks

[flightcub]

it’s thursday today but it’s cold outside, so here’s an update on my attempt at a thursday meme. it’s thursday and it’s cold but i’m still here to help. thanks 

[flightcub]

it’s 2015 now and thursday still needs a meme, here’s another attempt to contribute. it’s thursday and it’s a new year and as always i’m here to help. thanks