apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
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@gratuitousautomaton
apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.
this was written 100 years ago but it reads like a post i would make on my tumblr blog in 2026
The Catalogue of Ships in the Iliad is, to a modern audiences, what classicists have called “boring as hell,” but I can’t help but think that if you were watching Homer recite it it would have been more like when comedians go, “anybody here tonight from Chicago?” and the Chicagoans in the back start cheering
Homer’s like, “and there were forty black ships from… LOCRIS” and the Locrians in the crowd start going absolutely nuts
Went to the grocery store with my kindergartener. We weighed some bananas: 2 pounds even. We weighed a watermelon: 4 pounds even. We weighed some mangos: a little over 1 pound. We weighed the watermelon AND the bananas: 6 pounds even.
“That’s funny” said the child “because 2+4=6 and two pounds and four pounds is six pounds. It’s like the same as math!”
“What happens if you add 6+1?”
“SEVEN”
“What if we put one pound of mangos on the scale?” <mangos added>
“IT’S THE SAME!!”
“OK, what’s 7-4?”
“Three?”
“What if we take the four pound watermelon off the scale?” <watermelon removed>
“Mama! Are you telling me math works In Real Life? Think of all the things you could measure!!”
happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought
i know i said i did not want to talk about the nolan odyssey but i do have one more nodyssey post in me. i actually think the idea of odysseus understanding his story as existing both in and out of a historic timeframe is a fun way to handle the liminality caused by the story being part of an extensive oral tradition. however having him say "our age of bronze is collapsing" is perhaps not the way i would have done that
I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up
I’ve been showing my hamster your blog and it seems to really like it, biting at the screen. I also have a hamster(the small animal kind) too and he seems to like your blog as well
the fuck is the first hamster then
trying to communicate ideas through language and it doesnt suffice so you turn to the abstract image and then people want to be talking to you about the images NO!!!!!! ! ! ! ! ! !
precisely
Few-toothed Rat Paucidentomys vermidax
A shrew-rat from Sulawesi, Indonesia. The rat has no molars and only two upper incisors, an adaptation to its earthworm diet.
image by Jacob Esselstyn, et al.
Wait so it has only -
Oh. Oh.
fish sauce is kind of amazing if you think about it. what do you have there? extract of an animal entire
Matthew Lillard and Angelina Jolie as “Cereal Killer” and “Acid Burn” in Hackers (1995)
previously unseen genders in human history
Alternate timeline in which all Greek and Latin roots are swapped:
catastrophe -> contraverse cephalopod -> capitoped chlorophyll -> viridofolia democracy -> populimpery homicide -> anthropoctony homosexual -> equigamic kilometer -> millimensure interregnum -> mesarchy magnanimous -> megapsychic manuscript -> chirography motorcycle -> ergatorote microscope -> parvovisor oxygen -> acidofex polyamory -> multierasty television -> remotoscopy universe -> monostrophe
Many lgbt teenagers and young adults growing up on the internet today have socially conservative beliefs that they voice at all times that they got from their conservative parents which they’ve never challenged because they think the life experience of being gay or trans makes them politically progressive
This is why I hate it when people say something homophobic and then go “so you’re really accusing me, a whole ass lesbian, of being homophobic 🙄” like yeah