AliceWentMad

[ call me elle or alice ] [ The Forensics System ] ------------------------------------------------------ "How is the world inside your mind any less real than the one outside it?" —Cheshire cat ------------------------------------------------------ "Life is pain. I go to work everyday im in pain. Do you how many times i thought about giving up. How many times i wanted to end it" —house ------------------------------------------------------ "Have a little cry, pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again. The show must go on" —bluey and bingo ------------------------------------------------------ "Maximum effort!" — deadpool ------------------------------------------------------ "I will be a problem to the world, that is my prophecy" — Me

[graveyardtombstone]

I am neurodivergent.

But i didnt get the fun, hyperfixation, learn everything, consume everything, neurodivergence.

I will hyperfixate on one thing. Only one. I won't watch the rest of the series, Il stay with just the one.

I cant handle the new.

Il hyperfixate on Jurassic World, but only that. Not park, not rebirth. Just Jurassic world.

Heck, I didnt even choose to watch it. My family had to keep the tv remote and turn it on.

I havent chosen to watch a new Tv-show in years, Im lucky I can read and read without struggling.

Do I want to watch Jurassic park? YES.

Am I terrified of the new, of the assumptions i made about charaters being untrue, of having to watch something that I dont know what comes next? YES.

I dont always remeber what I fixated on, and I know the dopamine isnt forever.

Whatever created me must have hated me.

[graveyardtombstone]

Daydreamed so hard im still hearing the chains of rollarcoasters going up and i feel a little nausous because i just daydreamed i was at sixflags–

[graveyardtombstone]

I keep trying to call everyome 'my love' and 'darling'

should i accept it and start?

yes

no

Voting ended onMay 20

[graveyardtombstone]

"I had a dream, I got everything I wanted" –b.e

BUT IT WAS JUST A DREAM. I HAD MY DESIRED THINGS, I HAD A GIRLFRIEND.

I LOVED THEM SO MUCH.

I thought i was awake twice.

I HATE THIS.

[graveyardtombstone]

"I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit"

Except I've just been reading half the day, listening to lana and taylor half the day, sleep less regular but consuming more coffee, daydreaming, and rewatching my comfort shows.

[graveyardtombstone]

I can promise you they don't

[graveyardtombstone]

~ Question <3

When you devote a perfume, do you continue to use it?

I've seen 70$ and up perfumes being devoted or on their altar, and I just can't help but wonder if they use it

I'd love to devotee a perfume but I also dont have 70$ or more to buy something I'm not using

[rubysue1909]

[graveyardtombstone]

Being a shifter, with a speficific story line/timeline, and watching the media move on;+ ruin and kill the charaters:

"Help. Im still at the resturant.

Sitting crosslegged, in a corner i haunt."

[graveyardtombstone]

My anxiety goes so bad during weather–

And being raised catholic is funny.

Because tell me why i just sat, rocking back n forth, singing "this little light of mine" because of thunder–

[graveyardtombstone]

"We all look for heaven"

"And we put love first"

[graveyardtombstone]

Trying put my LED lights up and damn–

Out of breath, sweating, dead qnd crying on the inside

[writingdose]

a writer’s struggle

[graveyardtombstone]

[Slight parental vent using music]

You've used up all your fake apologies

And thats fucking pathetic.

[graveyardtombstone]

Not being good at math f--king sucks

[a short vent rant]

Both of my dream careers

Rollar coaster designer/amusment designer

And

Architect

Require me to be good at math.

BUT IM NOT.

I FUCKING SUCK AT MATH.

[shaysplanet]

stop trying to “arrive” in your DR. feel where you are and flow.

post inspo!

we always discuss how we aren’t separate from our drs, how there’s no disconnect between us here and us there. and yet every single time, you go into an attempt trying to arrive. trying to wake up as if you haven’t already been there the entire time.

why?

because you’re not actually trying to shift. you’re trying to confirm.

you’re trying to feel it here, see it here, know it’s happening here because you don’t trust that it’s already happening without your supervision. you start simulating the arrival, so you can monitor every sensation and know you’re doing it “correctly”.

but that’s just resistance to the natural flow of shifting. it’s pressure. when you feel like you have to focus on arriving in order to receive, you interrupt yourself from actually shifting because you’re over monitoring. you take yourself out of the experience and replace it with you watching yourself experience. when you focus too hard all it means is you’re performing. taking it so seriously so that you don’t “miss” the moment. but nowhere in this situation are you actually coming to terms with the fact that you’re already in your dr.

you’re just containing it. shrinking it into little parameters in hopes you can control and validate the shift before you allow yourself to flow into it. thats not what allowing yourself to shift means.

allowing yourself to shift is acknowledging that you already exist in your dr. therefore trying to create an entire narrative that doesn’t come naturally to you makes no sense. let the imagery come to you. let the dr chase you. you don’t have to have intense focus. you can just daydream and let it be chaotic because that’s flow. flow is not correcting the scene. it’s not steering every detail. flow is letting the information remain unfinished. it’s letting the picture paint itself.

allow the experience to be what it is! don’t dampen it by focusing on if you’re there yet. the answer is always yes! you are there. now trust that and allow your dr to form around you, instead of trying to forcefully form your thoughts around it.

[graveyardtombstone]

Being a divorcee kid makes you a liar.

Not that you lie about neglect or anything.

Its that parent A didnt want me home alone for over an hour at 13

And parent B would let me be

So i just.. never said anything.