And it makes us brave again @gravity-lifts - Tumblr Blog

we kill the bat man

(important context: this resident is an ally and this is funny)

so i work in a care home w elderly people and one of my residents called me an intelligent girl, before apologizing and saying intelligent man, before apologizing again and landing on "youre an intelligent transsexual"

virginshane

do not come to my notifs with ur fuck ass harry potter username

spin-the-wheel-polls

Hello. Since I've seen people submit finished wheels, I thought I'd submit a wheel I came up with. In this case, it's a wheel to tell you something that you can't do for a week.

https://wheelofnames.com/kch-gkt

this is a really really cool idea! Thanks!!!

You can't do this for a week!

How bad is this for you?

Its great! I can live with this

I already don't do this

It'll be annoying but I'll be fine

VERY BAD.

results/other

Remaining time: 4 days 3 hours

thanks inkarchivist for the submission!!

#go to work #it would be AWESOME except i would get super fired

herssian

"there is no way you're not using chatgpt for at least a few things here and there no matter your stance on it" what the FUCK are you talking about

allykatsart

maidthings

every time i say velociraptor is very important to imagine a turkey-sized predatory bird and not the weird lizard thing from jurassic park

maidthings

you have to love her. you have to

owlservice

I wish I was taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish my cat had a phone I would call her.

skaldish

I think about this a lot.

computationalcalculator

may I add also “butt dial” vs “booty call” vs “bottom text”

clitorius-maximus

Hand job vs manual labor

ohgreatblackbunny

Tags deserved to be seen

kikmessenger

sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully

kikmessenger

skips a stone over a few posts

ferrettaur

So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that

dreamlogic

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

cringecorp

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

makingtrouble

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem

makingtrouble

This is getting notes so let me just say