evil twink mentality @guardseyes - Tumblr Blog

reblogs were off

oh the goats. We went to new york city in september(...)found that bench we'd sat together on a thousand years ago when i felt such love for you i felt my heart was gonna pop I WANTED YOU !!!!!!!!!! TO LOVE ME LIKE YOU USED TO DO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But i CANNOT RUN!!!!! and I CANT HIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!! from the WRECK we've made of OUR HOUSE !!!!!!!! from the MESS INSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#song that fuck me up SOOOO BADDDD .#sooo true. so true #whatever. god.

asmrgaret

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

asmrgaret

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

#no bc why do i have to say Dear Manager in my resignation.

imtryingstill

Imagine I was calm and normal about things

eggsdoodz

taking each day as it comes…

i am a firm believer that it’s only a bush if you’re a girl. if you don’t identify with the soul and spirit of a woman in some way call them pubes you haven’t earned the title

martypantone

When John Tortorella invariably fucks up again and needs his image rehabilitated, I am going to pitch him my new feature film, Horse Hockey, a heartwarming coming of age story about Torts rescuing an an orphaned foal and teaching it to play hockey, Air Bud style.

And obviously the horse is a beast on the ice, even more so under Tortorella’s rigorous coaching. I mean, can you imagine this thing on a breakaway?? Except he’s not the hard-hitting, physical brute that everyone in the league assumes he is. He’s sensitive. He’s patient. He’s got high hockey IQ and beautiful edge work. But the refs only see his size and his (ahem) pedigree, and the horse just keeps racking up the penalty minutes. Teams are starting to get worried he’s a liability, and Tortorella’s ever growing presence as the horse’s coach/agent/father is NOT helping.

In a pivotal game against their divisional rival, the horse gets a five minute major for boarding, and Torts is on the ice before he even registers his body moving, screaming at the refs that “it was clean hit! It’s not his fault he’s 17 hands high!!” But then he feels something on his waist. A hoof, somehow fitted with a hockey skate blade, pulls him back into the penalty box, and the horse whinnies softly until Torts stops his tirade and sits down, pacified. The entire arena looks on, dead silent, as Torts starts reflexively smoothing his fingers through the horse’s beautiful mane, the way he used to every night when the horse was still too young and afraid to leave his side.

And as his horse son looks at him with his big, wet horse eyes and places his big, warm horse head onto his shoulder, John has a realization. He may have taught the horse about stick handling and face offs, but the horse taught him something even more important. The horse taught John Tortorella how to be a little bit more human.

#hockeyes

apoemaday

A Word on Statistics

by Wisława Szymborska tr. Joanna Trzeciak

Out of every hundred people

those who always know better: fifty-two.

Unsure of every step: almost all the rest.

Ready to help, if it doesn't take long: forty-nine.

Always good, because they cannot be otherwise: four — well, maybe five.

Able to admire without envy: eighteen.

Led to error by youth (which passes): sixty, plus or minus.

Those not to be messed with: forty and four.

Living in constant fear of someone or something: seventy-seven.

Capable of happiness: twenty-some-odd at most.

Harmless alone, turning savage in crowds: more than half, for sure.

Cruel when forced by circumstances: it's better not to know, not even approximately.

Wise in hindsight: not many more than wise in foresight.

Getting nothing out of life except things: thirty (though I would like to be wrong).

Doubled over in pain and without a flashlight in the dark: eighty-three, sooner or later.

Those who are just: quite a few at thirty-five.

But if it takes effort to understand: three.

Worthy of empathy: ninety-nine.

Mortal: one hundred out of one hundred — a figure that has never varied yet.

2colde

i hear there are several types of ways to feel

elokitties

everyone needs to calm down about everything right now. unless you are worked up for a legitimate reason then of course, you should be angrier maybe. what I’m saying is let’s all take it down to a 1 or 2. unless of course you need to be at an 11.

emobandrpf

im afraid this is the first thing I thought of upon hearing this song

#gardfob

atsuwushi

no i'm gonna fucking cry actually. you're macklin celebrini. you were the top goal scorer at your first olympics, which you attended as the youngest nhl player in team canada history. you remain the only nhl player and the youngest player to score in a penalty shootout at the olympics. you fucking lose the gold medal game. you go back to the nhl and pretty much single-handedly drag your rebuilding team into the playoff race. you become the franchise record holder in only your second nhl season, and you finish the season as the 4th top points scorer in the league behind guys with 8+ years of experience on you. your team just barely loses out on the playoffs. you go to the world championships, you're named captain over your literal idol sidney crosby. you go to worlds because you want to win something for once. the first game you lose is the fucking semi-final.

#hockeyes

worldsmostcasualmpregfan

happy pride month

#hockeyes

snoopyoftheday

snoopy of the day

bad-love

I just wanted to add this quote from the peppermint patty peanuts wiki page about Charles M. Schulz and his relationship with his gay cousin. The source here leads to a book that I did not read but the original source is Schulz's wife who confirmed this in an interview. If I can find the interview again I will link it here but uh. just in case someone tries to claim Schulz was a homophobe on this post again.

#hell yes