LiSTEN UP YOU HECKING PUPPERS TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO A LEARN BECAUSE IM GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT FIRING SQUADS
Today's Document

Discoholic đȘ©

ellievsbear
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
cherry valley forever
Jules of Nature

â
almost home
KIROKAZE
DEAR READER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
NASA

if i look back, i am lost
wallacepolsom
Sade Olutola

pixel skylines

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$LAYYYTER

@theartofmadeline
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from India
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@guitarmusicandwitchcraft
LiSTEN UP YOU HECKING PUPPERS TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO A LEARN BECAUSE IM GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT FIRING SQUADS
When youâre a duck and have places to be, but safety is key
I literally saw a goose do a similar thing while I was on the highway going to work
They are learning
#respectful law abiding birds
Why do the creepy cgi ducks have so many notes
iâm watching an art theft documentary and theyâre interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they werenât the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like âthis is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, donât say a word to anyone just nod if itâs the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a secondâ and then it cuts to the professorâs interview and he says âi wasnât going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubensâs aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a littleâ and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like âi hadnât taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldnât leaveâÂ
at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said âisnât this just the most beautiful rubens youâve ever seen outside of a museum?â (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said âwhere on earth did you get it from?â and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like âinheritanceâ can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy youâve brought in just to nod if itâs the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it
Iâm like a prisoner in Platoâs Cave, seeing only the shade you throw on the wall.
Indirect Detection [Explained]
this is an important part of the tumblr experience
Making fun of girls who dream of being a wife and stay-at-home-mom actually doesnât make you progressive or feminist or cool, it just makes you a person who shits on someone elseâs dream, a.k.a an assholeÂ
I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS
Always important to remember; the enemy of feminism is not a particular lifestyle, the enemy of feminism is to not be able to choose.
Perhaps it's time for the United States to take a page from the Soviet book just this one time
âBetween 1962 and 1964, 40 percent of the chemistry Ph.D.âs awarded in Soviet Russia went to women. At that same time in the United States, that number was a measly five percent.â
you learn to take the little victories
I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC
OMG SAME FOR BOTH
I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row
when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an âall of the aboveâ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the âaâ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take
One time I worked as a personal assistant for this rich dude. He was pretty ok for like. A dude w more money than I can rlly comprehend? Anyways a part of his assets was this grain processing plant; idk what they actually did I just ran errands for the dude n made sure he wasnât bothered from big money decisions basically. Glorified coffee bitch? Anyways weâre working one day and the workers catch this random lady like??? Taking bags of whatever the hell they kept in the plant. Weâre getting ready to call the cops, Iâm getting anxious, and the bossâŠâŠ.. tells them to let her go. He tells her sheâs allowed to take only what she can carry in her own arms. So she scrambled off with the bag of wheat or corn or whatever ???? And the crews super confused and the boss goes âdo not stop her from getting what she can carryâ & so that happens again like once a week for the next few months. I find out sheâs actually an immigrant and a widow? Living with her dead husbands mom. Sheâs been stealing to feed her mom in law. Anyways eventually one day she like. Approached my boss. In his office.
And like a month later I was given an invitation to their wedding it was extremely fucked up my boss married a lady who was a wheat thief
Classic bible story
ok now that FO76 has been out for a bit and everybody has seen what a fucking garbage game it is Iâm just gonna spoil this since I doubt many will play long enough to see it
The end-game boss is a copy-pasted dragon from Skyrim with a new model.
He did it, he sold us Skyrim again, the absolute fucking mad Todd.
HOLEEE SHIT HE DID IT AGAIN!
I donât give a fuck about Netflix!!
Iâm here to get nutted in. Iâm a grown ass woman.
Put it in.
Itâs 1:11am and Iâm up breastfeeding for the 3rd time
Donât fuckin listen to me. Just watch the movie
đ©đđ
Just a headâs up, when meat eaters say things like âIâm glad youâre not like most vegans youâre cool about itâ what they really mean is âIâm glad youâre silent about animal cruelty so I can eat animals without having to think about it.â
No actually what they likely mean is âIâm glad youâre not like PETA and compare womenâs bodies to beef and porkâ or âIâm glad youâre not the type of asshole who blames poor people for not being able to afford healthy vegan foods instead of getting upset at the grocery chains who throw out tons and tons of perfectly good produceâ
see also: âim glad youre not one of those vegans who compares the meat industry to the holocaustâ. anti-semetic, sexist, racist, and classist rhetoric is unfortunately quite common among vegans and itâs disingenuous as hell to act like having an issue with that is silencing vegans.
Also âIâm glad you arenât one of those vegans who thinks I should put my health on the lineâ
âIâm glad you donât harass me over my life choices because youâre a decent fucking human being who realizes that throwing humans under the bus so you can have an ego trip is a shitty thing to doâ
Also: Iâm glad youâre not one of those vegans who lies about whatâs in food theyâre feeding me when I ask about my allergens so that I donât have to risk literally dying
âiâm glad youâre not literally blaming global climate change on me, personally, for liking cheese while corporations dump pollution directly into the ozone by the ton because it saves them a few dollarsâ
âiâm glad youâre not getting on a moral high horse about animal cruelty while ignoring the human rights abuses that go into farming your vegan faves like quinoaâ
THAT LAST ONE
It actually pisses me off more knowing Tumblr was perfectly able to solve its cp problem but just didnât until it ended up on the news
So, Tumblr purging inappropriate content probably means theyâre gonna purge a ton of sex workers, we should figure out ways to support people who use this site for sex work before that happens.
republicans: watch us fuck over this red state no one will stand up to us. itâs mississippi. whatâre they gonna do?
judge shaking head:
republicans:
Regardless of ones personal beliefs, abortion is murder. Fact.
u find 7000 fertilized eggs that will become babies if allowed, and one sobbing five year old, there is a fire you can save one or the other, who do you save?Â
by your definition the fertilized eggs are of more importance than a five year old and thereby must be saved under utility youâd rather kill a five year old than admit youâre wrong.
My mom told me to stop vapeing in the house and my dad just texted me this
Update:
trump administration:
me: what could possibly go wrong
what went wrong:
Thereâs a reason why those regulations were in place, to protect consumers from shit like this. To no surprise, this administrationâs policies are not for the protection of itâs people-they serve the interests of the large corporations-not for the people, not for America.
It should also be noted that these companies could still follow the now-repealed safety regulations. Theyâre showing their colors as bastards by immediately jumping on all this deregulation to save a few bucks at the cost of consumersâ health and well-being. Any of the people running these companies could take the easiest moral stance and literally save lives, and they adamantly refuse to do so because they are literal monsters who value capital over lives
I donât trust Maroon 5
why
Well first of all thereâs 7 band members, not 5. Thatâs not why I donât trust them, I just think itâs weird.
Now getting to the point, do you know how many top 100 hits Maroon 5 has had? A lot. Theyâre even on billboards top 100 artists of all time (ALL TIME). And itâs understandable, because pretty much every song they put out is fucking awesome. Sugar, Donât Wanna Know, Moves Like Jagger, Payphone, This Love, She Will Be Loved, Cold, Animals, Maps, Misery, Harder to Breathe, Never Gonna Leave This Bed⊠to name a FEW.
These shitheads have been popping out jams since I was a little kid. Well over a decade worth of killer music. Every other song I hear on the radio is Maroon 5. Itâs always Maroon 5. And I fucking love it. I love all their songs. Everyone does, theyâre awesome.
But hereâs the thing. Theyâre never the top selling artists. On the top 100 list, theyâre only in the 40s. They very rarely have a number 1 hit. Theyâre considered good, I supposeâŠ.. but not great. Not the best.
How many people have you heard say Maroon 5 is their favorite band? For me itâs zero. For many of you, itâs zero. If youâre thinking to yourself âwhat? No I love them, theyâre my fave!â Are you sure? Are you really sure? Theyâre your absolute complete FAVORITE band ever??? I doubt it. Youâre just saying that because the band is on your mind now. If I asked you your fave band any other time youâd come up with another answer. Everyone always does.
But they SHOULD be everyone favorites. Look at all of those songs. Theyâve got so many top hits. Everyone loves their music. Everyone sings along and knows the songs. They should be my favorite band, I think I like more of their songs than of my actual favorite artist. But they are not my favorite. They are no ones favorite.
I think they made a deal with someone. Satan? God? A dude down an alleyway? Who knows. But I believe they made a deal to ensure everyone would love their music. And we do. Itâs great music.
But the twist is that theyâll never truly be recognized as one of the best. Sure, their songs will play on the radio and everyone will sing along. Theyâll have sold out concerts. Plenty of fans. But not enough. Theyâll be just good. Never great. Never the best. Even if they should be our favorite, they never will be. Theyâll never sell enough albums or have their songs reach as high on the billboards as they should. Everyone loves their music, per the agreement. But no one loves them.
I hope Adam Levine knows Iâm on to him. I know what he did.
IT IS BACK