req'd by @seththemusehub
yeah thats how the game goes usually
text: Link does not have self-preservation instincts. Ever.
h
Keni

tannertan36
styofa doing anything
DEAR READER

oozey mess
NASA
Monterey Bay Aquarium
sheepfilms

shark vs the universe
Cosimo Galluzzi

titsay
Misplaced Lens Cap
YOU ARE THE REASON

JBB: An Artblog!

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i don't do bad sauce passes

Discoholic 🪩

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Show & Tell

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@gutterlights
req'd by @seththemusehub
yeah thats how the game goes usually
text: Link does not have self-preservation instincts. Ever.
today i learned that the finnish word for ‘hazardous waste’ is ongelmajäte, which can also translate as ‘problematic garbage’ and my roommate and i immediately agreed this is a word that belongs on tumblr.
Your fave is ongelmajäte
in german it’s Sondermüll which means special trash and that too belongs on tumblr
One man’s ongelmajäte is another man’s sondermüll.
You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.
[Audio starts]
“Mom has been texting me for the last twenty minutes. She wants me to come home. It’s a four hour drive, when the roads are clear, and from what I hear everybody is trying to get somewhere right now. There’s no telling if I’d even-”
“Everybody else has left. All the other kids were picked up, the other staff left. They gave me all the keys. I promised to stay and wait for as long as- well. Even if some of the parents show up, I guess some of them won’t, so I’m just waiting. Until.”
[Clears throat.]
“A couple of people came after everybody left. Peter, one of Aidan’s fathers, gave me three hundred dollars for staying. What am I going to do with money? It’s- anyway. I kind of get it. He wanted to give me something.”
[Audio ends]
[Audio starts]
“They’re all between 2 and 4.” Sniff. “They’re so little. Too little to really- maybe if they were older, I’d have to tell them something. But um. I’m just- trying to stay calm and keep them happy and occupied. I think that’s the best thing, right now.”
[Heaving breaths.]
“I normally use this recorder to help me remember stuff. It’s just, uh, habit to talk to it. I don’t know. They’re napping, right now. I’ve got the baby monitor, they know that if they talk into it, I’ll come, so-”
[Sobbing.]
[Audio ends]
[Audio starts]
“Mom keeps texting, so I blocked her. I sent her a text telling her goodbye, first, but. I do. But these kids need me.”
[Sniff.]
“I tried calling their parents again, but I can’t get anybody. It’s just busy signals. I called the firefighter station, 911. I can’t get through to anybody.”
[Shaky breath.]
“I went out into the yard. Um, I think they can play. It’s nice out, and you can’t really see it yet. Little bit of a glimmer, if they ask I’ll just tell them it’s a plane, but it’s nice out and we’ve got hours before-”
[Murmuring child’s voice, indistinguishable.]
[Audio ends]
Keep reading
this is my entire stance on the "american food is bad" discourse summed up
Listen man, its a work week, you just got done your shift at the dollar store, youre in a rural area and the local waffle house is a 35 minute drive away and driving from the waffle house back home will be another 45 minutes, so what youre gonna do is youre gonna pick these four bad boys up from the dry goods aisle, drive home, cook some Carolina long grain rice with a little bouillon cube stirred into the cooking water, and in a separate skillet, youre gonna add a tsp of veggie oil or if youre lucky some butter and cook down some of that garlic. Then add a little extra oil and if you have spinach or any hearty greens, youre gonna throw them in your skillet with some salt and cook them down, if not thats okay. But youre also gonna transfer your rice from the pot into the skillet with your garlic (and veggies if youre lucky) and stirfry that rice for a minute or so. The bouillon cube didnt quite season your rice to your liking, so youre gonna throw a little extra pinch of salt. Perfect. Then youre gonna turn off the flame and add parmesan to taste. You take a look in your fridge and you see that you have a little parsley left from the last time you were able to clock out early enough to stop in at the local Food Lion and its still in good condition. Youre gonna wash that parsley, dry it, give it a quick chop, and finish your fake risotto with it and a couple splashes of lemon juice.
You have some rice left over so you know whats for dinner tomorrow night and you can sleep soundly. Country girls make fucking do.
Peer reviewing bcs prev knocks it outta the fucking park.
i've been there. and it sucks. but i'm lucky enough to have learned a bunch of cheap, quick, and easy recipes for times like this. and sometimes i still make a fucking box of mac and cheese and call it good. that's life for you.
The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!
Spin the wheel. Now, imagine you're on a first date with someone who says they`re a [result]. How does this affect the odds of a second date?
100% guarantee I'll want a second date
It's significantly more likely
The odds don't change
It's significantly less likely
There wont be a second date. Absolutely not
Picker Wheel is a wheel spinner for a random picker. Various functions & customization. Enter choices or names, spin the wheel to decide a r
(anon submission)
I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”
breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby
*screams of a witch burning at the stake*
THOU ART CURRENTLY LISTENING TO
*Gregorian chanting*
13.21
*leper bell ringing*
HIGH MEDIAEVAL FM
*recording of John Lackland sobbing as he signs the Magna Carta*
WHENCE COMETH NAUGHT BUT LITURGIES
LITURGIES
AND MORE LITURGIES
*Templar knights praying out loud*
THIS ISN’T THY GRANDMOTHERES STATION
*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*
Could Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz solve the Kira murders?
Could catch Kira, would survive
Could not catch Kira, would survive
Could catch Kira, would not survive
Could not catch Kira, would not survive
Oh, the comments are GOLD
Great job everyone
phineas and ferb heritage post
Righteous indignation
“I ain’t reading all that” your brain is rotting and shrinking
Yes, but also, I am begging you on bended knee, paragraph breaks.
Yes, but also, I
am begging you on bended
knee, paragraph breaks.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Thinking about it, I’m pretty sure my ancestors would be horrified with me.
Not because I’m lazy or unworthy or anything like that…
…but because one of my distant uncles was among the eight survivors of the Essex, the ship that inspired the ending of Moby Dick and sank after being rammed by a whale, and what do I fuckin do after my bloodline has this Ordeal at Sea?
I get a fuckin degree in Marine Science and go back the fuck out there.
#op its your job to kill that whale
I’m fond of the idea that BBAU Bruce is initially taken aback by Danny’s hostile snark the first time he hears it.
Which is not to say he doesn’t know Danny’s a bit of a sass meister, period. Just that his usual exposure to Danny’s range of snark is from a lighthearted place. Usually when he’s giving Bruce or Alfred a hard time, but doesn’t actually mean anything out of it. Which his tone and language usually reflect.
It doesn’t consciously occur to him that his kid could use his smart-mouth for violence until it’s already happening and the words are out in the air.
Danny (to someone else): wow. i thought you’d be jailbirding it up with your tax fraud friend. Doesn’t your type travel in herds?
Bruce (somewhere nearby): *record_scratch.wav*
Bruce: hold on—
(The part of his brain that processes everything at mach speed is instantly going “oh this makes sense” moments after the shock hits)
Izutsumi is aroace, you agree with me, happy pride.
why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable
Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….
Finally, we have them all.
In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.
Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.
It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.
It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.
this is not a place of honor
Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you
holy shit this really is the Most Broken Post. welp, time to send it forward into the void