Ok so i like hearing the thought process behind why people did what they did and im sure other people do too, especially with my art bc im super important.
So i already talked abt my nail design choices in this post here
And i wanted to end by talking abt why i wrote the song boys.
So initially i had this catchy chorus “boys uh oh no one does it better” that is used in the song but i rly hated it bc im not that girl and i never was nor will be. And brace urself bc im going to rant BC IT IS THAT DEEP!
This is not a charli xcx substack article btw. So plz dont yell at me even tho i just yelled at u. Im sorry.
We have always lived in a world that hates women and femininity unless it serves the patriarchy, specifically in regards to cis-women being able to give birth. My existence, as many other women, is a protest against it. i am an only child, a girl, from a culture like many others that only recently normalized (my generation being the 2nd) being proud of your child regardless if they are a boy.
When i was in school i was treated as other than bc of my physical appearance, specifically not like the other girls in school. For example, girls would get asked out on dates while i was asked out as a joke and during picture day the teacher would compliment everyone in the class but for the girls they would focus on their beautiful eyes or hair yk things that characterize feminine beauty but for me she'd think long and hard and tell me my shoes look nice. I would get excited tho and tell her they're from the ross. For those of you who don't get it, not only were the shoes not a part of my natural physical appearance, the shoes don't even show up in the damn picture. overall, the majority of racist and sexist and insecurity causing experiences i have had come from boys or from other women who's version of a girl is patriarchal and male-centered.
Anyways, that's the context for why i dont go out of my way to support men unless I have physical proof of it. I'm not going to assume someone, especially a man, is a good person just because they're not on a registry. Even though ive been rung out by society I'm not going to sop up wtv liquid diarrhea bullshit that's given to me.
So hopefully as u can see i had a hard time w having that be the chorus bc i am not some pick me ass male centered cuck of a dumb ass woman. But then i decided to keep writing what felt natural regardless of preconceptions, and i finished the lyrics as they appear in the song.
I was not happy with what i wrote since it appears to fit the pick me description but then i sat on it and realized, bitch i sound fucking crazy. like i sound legit manic. like i fucking killed somebody. In cold blood (hehe truman capote heeheh. That book sucks and so does he. Dont read it ull die of boredom and disgust.).
Once i had that epiphany everything clicked and it made so much sense why i even thought those lyrics were natural to begin with. Since we (girls) are young enough to be exposed the societal concept of a boy, we are told they are the ultimate catch and are what we strive towards. I mean we r even told that when we study hard and go to college well be able to find a good husband and have a bunch of babies. A mrs degree. Thank fuck im too stupid for one.
The praise of men is so violently shoved down our throats it in turn creates a violent obsession with them. Like for ex, look at u. Why did u first join tumblr? probably to read fanfics among other reasons. Like me and the rest of us. So many of us had this violent obsession with our celebrity crushes, specifically men, that we can't think, breathe, and in general function without them. Like idk abt u but I remember having genuine heart aches, like physical chest pain, when I ran out of new things to see abt my celeb crush. Like I was that obsessed. Brittany broski relates to this and explains this very well if u havent experienced this. Only women have at least been open enough to talk about these periods of our lives publicly. If men experience this, i severely doubt it is to the extent women experience it bc society doesnt encourage it for them.
So now is another thing: the word boys. I have always thought that girls, young women, and women are good. Nothing wrong w them. Same with young men and men. But boys. No. they are the most vile creatures on this planet. And i dont mean young human beings in age. A “boy” can refer to any male (regardless of age) who exhibits bs qualities (submitting to the patriarchy for good and bad). They have no ability to understand and comprehend or produce anything worth substance. Overall they just exist and make everyone’s life hell. Idk where u live, but i am from texas and ive lived here my entire life. Abt 95% of the male figures i have ever met fit my definition of a boy. They fucking suck jesus god yall suck. also get off my page loser why r u here??.
Then i thought abt how there are no derogatory words for males as there are for females. We say bitch whore, slut, ho, etc. and they were first only used towards women but as society has progressed they are now universal terms for general [negative adjective] person. But there still isnt a term for men. Legit cannot think of one. Cuck is smthn but so wimpy dude like what. It doesnt count. There is literally not one word.
But going back to the word “bitch”, bitch can have a positive and negative term. You can say a person is acting like a bitch in a bad way but you can also refer to people as bitches in a positive way. Like i call my best girlfriends bitch sometimes and you can say “ouuu she looks like a bad bitch.”
I wanted to use this concept for the word “boy.” you can have a neutral connotation for the word “boy” as a young man, but i added a new meaning to it as stated above. I also thought abt how whenever something bad happens u refer to people as “boy.” like “boy stfu.” but when u say “girl” its for something positive like “girl, i got smthn to tell u.”
So overall the song is about killing boys but finding so much joy in it that you cannot stop. I talked before about kakegurui inspiring the concept for my nails and i also looked to this anime for my song. If you aren't familiar with kakegurui, its an anime on netflix abt a school where the students gamble. The main set of girls r rly obsessed and some even get like sexually aroused lmaooooo when they win bc of the thrill of almost losing everything or winning everything, especially this girl named Midari Ikishima. My girl’s a freak. She only gambles because of the thrill of legitimately dying. In one scene she loses every ever loving shit playing russian roulette bc she could get shot w gun. So her character and how she functions furthered my confidence in my lyrics as the song is how she feels about her gambling, similar to what i feel about boys (both hatred for the ones ive met and violent obsessions for the celebrities i have had crushes on.).
I want to note before I end that I am not a misandrist. I do not hate all men. I have had some positive experiences with gay men and some of my favorite celebrities are gay men who are drag queens like trixie mattel and katya. i also like bob and gene form bobs burgers. I have just had many, many, countless negative experiences with boys and this song is a response to that.
Overall I wrote “boys” about how an interest in something can seem innocent at first glance but is actually a violent obsession that controls you to the point of consumption.
Ok thank you for reading :)
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