she has been pickled for her crimes
The spirit of Mouse compelled me:

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@half-duck
she has been pickled for her crimes
The spirit of Mouse compelled me:
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!
follow your dreams at a sustainable pace
500 words a day gets the novel written
does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it
I'm glad everyone is alive rn
Should I be Worried? A Wizard Offered Me An Elixir to "Extend Your Life and Restore Your Youth" & It Turned Out To Be Antidepressants
unfortunately i can never hate on a "power of friendship" narrative no matter how corny because the thing is it's literally real
sexualising a blade sliding between the gaps in plate armour
yes it's obviously penetrative imagery but it's also + more importantly about the intoxicating, terrifying helplessness of being violently reminded of the limitations of your attempts to defeat your own vulnerability
every chemical product was tested on me with as much cruelty as possible
everything is actually ghosts, except ghosts, which are a story we tell to avoid acknowledging just how profoundly haunted everything is
kind of love it when someone is given a position of power they don't want and instead of being all reluctantly noble and stepping up to bravely bear the burden they're an immature cunt about it
i don't mean competently evil. i don't mean they get tragically and sexily corrupted into becoming a suave, sensual dominator. i mean they recognise the illusion of choice and privelege that they've been collared with and regress to crying and throwing fits and sulking and indulging in petty cruelty like an overgrown child in the hope that someone "better" will decide they're unfit to rule and take it all away from them.
everyone always asks "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" but nobody ever asks "what was so awful about heaven that you had to leave?"
it's not my preferred way to engage with media but a ship dynamic i do have a fondness for is what i've taken to calling "the poor man's rpf", ie: when two (or more) people could viably be the source of lurid speculative fiction and tabloid journalism about the nature of their relationship in the reality they inhabit
"isn't this technically all ships" well yes but it's about context. the characters need to be famous (or infamous) enough that they could reasonably be the subject of headlines like the one featuring matt damon and ben affleck from which the phrase "which could mean nothing" originated. they need to be getting the dan and phil treatment from mentally unwell fans on social media forums. the conspiracy theories formed about them should make gaylors look rational and sane.
and tbh? it's funnier if they're NOT hooking up before finding out about the rpf forces them to actually consider it
and people will try to tell you that oppressive beauty standards don't apply once you're dead
like obviously the social conditions you live in affect the universal phenomenon that death is but this really is such a succinct summary of how abjection works. degredation invoking the terror-driven denial of death to the point of total alienation in order to maintain a sense of social and moral order. hey al give me a body with nothing.
if you're an adult behaving immaturely i'm not going to "treat you like a child" about it because i have a lot of respect for children as an oppressed and vulnerable class of people. i will however treat you like an embarrassment. which you are being.
this is like basic foundational misogyny 101 but the fact that it's almost unconsciously ingrained to consider trousers a more "practical" alternative to skirts across the majority of human cultures does make me feel a little kicked in the head. this isn't even anything against pants, or denying that sometimes they are the best suited garment for purpose, it's just that skirts are nearly always unfairly compared as the a frivolous option, even though they're functionally not dissimilar at all. they're comfortable, capable of being tailored to suit a variety of purposes both aesthetic and functional, and simply what some people prefer. and yet, because they're so strongly tied to women and femininity, they're derided. a long skirt is an impediment; shortening a skirt is a sexual act. throughout history humans of all demographics have worn skirts and skirt-like clothing for a variety of purposes, but to wear a skirt in our enlightened modern age is a heavily gendered and politically loaded notion. and we just tolerate living like this. fucking unreal.
🚬 yeah.
*goes limp and passive but in a way that feels more dangerous somehow*
*doesn't protest or react but you can't help but feel like i'm doing it on purpose*
how it feels so sincerely cherish the social aspect of social media; the connections you've made and the communities you've formed using it, the art and knowledge you've shared, and the experiences you've had because of it, while also being constantly aware that you're contributing to the growth and perpetuity of the largest unethical market testing grounds fuelled by human capital in the world