"Perhaps it's the occurrence of Sirius saying his true name that catches him off guard, and probably why the words finally tumble out of his lips so easily, before his brain can stop his biggest regret."
Tuesday mornings are the most ordinary days of the week. Or at least, that's what Sirius always thought.
Normally when they go to the hospital for Remus' illness, it's on a Wednesday or a Friday. That's just how it works out through the years of them living together.
But Tuesdays aren't supposed to be that way. Tuesdays are supposed to be morning lattes and taking the motorbike to work and getting takeout for dinner. Tuesdays are supposed to be Remus holding a cup of Earl Grey curled up on the couch with a book as Sirius walks in after a day of work. Tuesdays are supposed to be peaceful days of them together, because that's just how it works out.
But this Tuesday, it doesn't.
When Sirius wakes up this Tuesday morning, he immediately knows something is wrong. Remus, who usually sleeps in longer than he does, isn't there, laying next to him in bed, curled up like a cat, arm splayed over Sirius' chest. Instead, the space next to him is empty. He places his hand to it. It is still slightly warm.
Immediately, Sirius gets out of bed, not bothering to adjust the covers, (not that he ever does) and heads out the bedroom door. He walks down the hallway into the small living room, but it's empty, only slightly illuminated from the few sun rays glancing upon the room.
"Moons?" He says. No response.
Suddenly, he notices the back door is left slightly ajar. Frowning, he opens it all the way, to find Remus himself standing outside, staring into space, lost in thought. He lets himself out, making sure to shut the door fully to make sure no bugs get in in case James visits, then walks up to Remus. He puts his arms around Remus' waist, as he always does.
He thinks it's odd that Remus is outside. Being sick has always been the perfect excuse to not be able to get physical activity or sunlight. Normally, Sirius has to convince him to get out and get some fresh air, usually with a walk or a picnic on Saturdays. Something is feeling very, very wrong, and he needs reassurance. He needs someone to tell him nothing's changed from the life he's had, so he repeats the routine with his hands circling Remus' waist, expecting to find comfort in the sole thing that he can.
But today, something else is different. Remus, who normally turns around and has a bright, yet tired smile on his face just because he's talking to Sirius, stiffens as his husband's hands touch.
Maybe it's an accident, but it occurs all the same, and Sirius most definitely notices. He lets go at once.
Remus shakes his head slightly, and Sirius knows he doesn't want to say a word, because that's just how he is.
Perhaps it's the occurrence of Sirius saying his true name that catches him off guard, and probably why the words finally tumble out of his lips so easily, before his brain can stop his biggest regret.
"Sirius, I- I think we should break up."
And that's when Sirius realizes that nothing is truly ever the same, because Remus doesn't want a hug and is outside and woke up early and wants to get rid of him and it's a Tuesday, and everything is going to change.
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