Namgyu, you don’t wear your ring anymore?
Of all things his co-worker could notice about Namgyu’s achievement at work, they had to rub the wounds he had tried to patch up every day. Namgyu is fully aware that he’s not everyone’s favorite at work, but it’s not his fault if the director chose him to lead the team a few times when a big project proposal arrived at their desk, instead of trusting the seniors who were years older than him. It was not his fault for being capable of doing his job, even when many occasions tempted him to fill in his own bank account. It was not his fault to be responsible, even when his co-workers advised him to not take things too seriously. They could have said something about the fresh idea he dropped during the meeting last week, yet his naked fingers seem more significant than his progress at work. His desk is empty, become lifeless from the mementos he usually put there, as a reminder that there is someone who he’s going to build a future with. Not anymore.
He only had one goal at that time, but things shattered beyond his control when Namgyu least expected it. There was nothing he could say to retaliate against his senior because the truth was there. She is no longer the dream Namgyu is longing for.
To him, it’s like being in a ground of a broken house--it falters sooner when it’s left empty. Because it has no purpose, it’s no longer a shelter for anyone who once settled inside. What’s left is only remnants of memories that will soon become dust even if he decides to revisit, but they will never go back to what they used to be. No matter how much Namgyu tried to preserve it, sooner or later he has to make a choice whether he rebuilds it from scratch or moves out elsewhere. He hates to be reminded of this matter every day, but time never compromises, and it’s been months since the last time he saw Dasom.
For once, the job he’s taking has to be around her neighborhood. His stomach feels tight when his client texted him about the meeting place the night before. If the world is being fair, Namgyu prays he won’t see her silhouette nearby--or anything that resembles her; the weather, or anyone with a long hair who tucks their hair behind the ear or sniffing floral-scented perfume from people who pass him by. If he walks faster, then maybe Namgyu can cheat the time.
The cold weather causes his cheeks to flush, and his hair becomes drier as the breeze messing it up. He checks the time, maybe a cup of coffee would be a good company during his walk. Unfortunately, his favorite place seems temporarily closing down due to a change in its interior. It’s about time, Namgyu thinks, since the last time he met the owner, he told him exactly to refurbish the mood of the room. Sometimes you need to change to survive, he once suggested. Break down the old, freshen it up, start anew.
An alternative place is always available these days anyways. Aside from the fact that Dasom lives around the neighborhood, it’s part of the city that becomes his favorite for its rapid change which always happens whenever Namgyu visits the site. Some store boards are hung up with different names of places already, different kinds of services and culinary to order. They attract younger people, even when the weather causes them to double up their layer of clothes. At least the neighborhood is still alive, it’s enough to accommodate and excite her needs--Namgyu slaps himself when the thought fills in his mind. Although, the heat on his cheek immediately subdues by the time he arrives at the coffee shop’s entrance.
Namgyu bumps his shoulder against the individual, who seems in a hurry just like him. “Sorry--” he says, but he swallows back the rest of the words into his guts when he meets the person in the eyes. A chill runs down his spine; she is like the beginning of a colder weather day, soothing yet intriguing. Her hair is always messy between the wind, but it frames her face in a melancholy way and compliments her features nicely. A faint scent of soap from her skin, warming up my fingertips.
Namgyu is sure his heart just skips a beat. Dasom is right in front of him, not just concept, not just his daydream, but a solid being. For a moment, he doesn’t know how to take this in.
She’s the reason why Namgyu doesn’t wear his ring anymore.
“My usual coffee shop is closed,” his tongue starts to work again. “They’re remodeling the place. This is the only other place I could think of.” Screw all the theories of moving on. Screw all the metaphors of abandoned house Namgyu has been playing in his head. He dusts off the remnants and still finds her endearing. Instead of walking through her modesty of holding up the door, Namgyu makes way and waves a hand to let her get inside first. “After you.”
