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@happunings
South Africa was on Wednesday named as the host for the General Elections 2014 which has been shifted out of India due to security apprehensions caused by the seventh edition of the Indian Premier League.
Polar Opposites
The following poem that you see above is one of the many examples of using contradictory words that mean the same thing to make a meaningless point or a pointless meaning.
Two Dead Boys
One bright morning in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced one another,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came and killed those two dead boys.
A paralyzed donkey walking by,
Kicked the copper in the eye,
Sent him through a rubber wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
(If you don't believe that this lie is true,
Ask the blind man for he saw it too!)
-Anon
The Kiss
She felt cold. The only emotion left in her was despair.
It was then that she saw him. The lights went off as he entered the room. He moved towards her. She didn’t want to be kissed, but she didn’t resist either. The kiss took her breath away. His mission accomplished, the dementor drifted away.
Strong Connection
Until now, he had always felt that the connection was strong.
Until now.
Today, things were different. Slow. Irresponsive. Every second felt like a lifetime to him. He knew it had never been like this before. He could feel the special connection fade away. And then, he reached out. “Stay strong, my dear Wi-Fi signal.”
The Confession
When his turn came, he knelt. He chose to remain anonymous; the curtain was the mask he would hide behind. He was going to absolve himself. He had to tell somebody. Anybody. And who better than a Father sworn to secrecy?
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”
The Father turned and smiled, “Me too.”
Eutipity
A lonely word of disparity, I heard a long time ago
May one day find me some clarity, for all I ever know.
For the forced familiarity, that I harness and I grow
Is cluttering my conscience and clarity, until I let it go.
No words of familiarity can ever go to show
The emotion that I’m feeling - a suffering worse than woe.
I think the simple austerity of a simile like the snow
Would portray only purity, for it is radiant and aglow.
So I set out in peculiarity, searching wherever I go
Seeking a word with gravity enough to describe my woe.
Groping with vulgarity, all above and below
I search with grim asperity, while walking to and fro.
Alas, to my disparity, I found no word to throw
To depict my intense insularity, so I decided to let it go.
Wanting to render pity, I convinced myself to sow
A word that would be pithy. A word that I’d bestow.
So I raced around with celerity, and I never once broke the flow
Conjuring a word of parity, that was equal to my low.
For a word that bore some verity, for such tremendous throe,
I decided upon “Eutipity”, a word full of sweet sorrow.
Modi-fying the playing field
The move by the BJP to anoint Narendra Modi as its Prime Ministerial candidate is a shrewd one. A calculated attack on the Congress, the move serves many purposes. While on the surface it seems like the right thing to do considering that the NaMo mantra has been chanted in choruses so often that it will keep ringing in our ears, the thought process behind such a move is commendable indeed.
I do not intend to argue that Narendra Modi is the best suited candidate for the PM post. All I’m trying to say here is that given the political landscape the BJP finds itself in the midst of, putting Modi on the pedestal and elevating him as PM candidate was indeed a move that was well calculated for the sound logical reasoning that backs the decision.
Around three months ago, the JD(U) decided to terminate their seventeen year old marriage with the BJP. Nitish Kumar’s reason for walking out of the NDA was clear and crisp – Narendra Modi as the PM candidate was unacceptable. That was three months ago, when Modi hadn’t even been declared the PM candidate yet. He was, however, given the responsibility of the Overall Campaign Coordinator for the BJP’s 2014 bid to the Lok Sabha. While it can be argued that delegating the responsibility to him was indeed a precursor of things to come (in the form of his being declared PM candidate), the JD(U) was still too early to walk out of the NDA. True, now the JD(U) can work backwards and say that it had always prophesised Modi’s candidature. However, it is also true that it is a prophecy that fulfils itself. While the NDA would have found some voices of dissent had JD(U) stayed with them, walking away from NDA, the JD(U) made the BJP that much more desperate. Apart from this, had the BJP not declared Modi as their BJP candidate after the JD(U) walked out on them, then they would have been foolish; the JD(U) wasn’t going to come back to NDA in any case. And even if they did, the image of uncertain wavering that the coalition partners would project to the public would have been catastrophic and the target of many Congress ridicules. So in my opinion, this is a classic case of causality and effect being confused to be each other; JD(U) walking out had more to do with Modi’s PM candidature than the other way around.
While the JD(U) was dissenting in the capacity of coalition partner, there was a person sulking within the ranks of the BJP itself. His name – Lal Krishna Advani. Advani didn’t want anybody- let alone Modi- to be declared as the PM candidate until after the string of elections scheduled for October-November, 2013. This is where the brilliance of Advani comes into play because this suggestion puts forward an alternative hypothesis. If Advani’s intentions were in fact to pre-empt Modi from getting the top job, he could not go the BJP Parliamentary Board without an alternative who is at least comparable to Modi in stature. By asking BJP to postpone the declaration of PM candidate till after the elections in Oct-Nov, Advani is asking for an entirely different thing. Had Madhya Pradesh done considerably well in the elections, then Shivraj Singh Chouhan could have been touted by Advani as the alternative to Modi. Whatever Advani’s own personal agenda is, waiting too long to declare the PM candidate would have been fatal for the BJP as more people would swing the BJP way if they saw a possible strong anti incumbency leader within the BJP ranks. Announcing the PM candidate after the four states’ elections would have definitely had much less of an impact than it does right now.
The third, and possibly the most important, reason for picking Modi – and picking him now- was that it could put the ball back in the Congress court. The Congress right now faces a dilemma that is in no way easy to solve; a political rhetoric will emerge and will be underscored by the BJP at every rally and interview from now on. If the Congress jumps ship and decides to name anyone as their candidate for PM, then it finds itself in hot soup. If that candidate is Manmohan Singh, then even more so. The BJP would be quick to point out the two terms of mismanagement and corruption ridden governance that would serve a severe blow to the Congress. The final blow will be delivered, in my prediction, if Modi (as he has already done) challenges Manmohan Singh to a live T.V. debate. The very contrast between them – with Modi charismatic and energetic and Manmohan Singh polite and looking slightly meek – would itself reinforce the dire need of a strong arm the helm in the people’s mind. Accepting such an invitation to debate would be disastrous for the Congress. Declining it and saying the Modi camp’s preference for the Presidential system of the U.S. is ridiculous would dig the hole deeper; “Then what was the point in Congress declaring a PM candidate at all?” people would quip.
The other way for the Congress to turn is Rahul Gandhi. Again, the BJP emerges the clear winner. Not only does Rahul Gandhi lack experience (he has never even had a Cabinet job), he also faces the burden of being from the Nehru-Gandhi family. The elections would then undergo a paradigm shift; “dynastic politics” would be screamed from rooftops all across India and real issues would be forgotten. And on a head-to-head collision, on basis of both achievements and experience, not to mention the momentum of oratory, Modi would easily thulp Rahul Gandhi. Rahul Gandhi claims to be a youth icon. And yet he has no twitter profile or facebook page. Modi on the other hand is much more inclusive when it comes to the youth; not only does he constantly tweet and have his own YouTube channel, his idea of holding a G+ hangout is the sort of thing that most netizens applaud as a commendable effort to reach out to the multitude of people.
Selecting Rahul Gandhi as the Congress choice would leave them vulnerable to another form of attack – misdirected criticism. The BJP only need say “Rahul as PM? What’s wrong with the one you have right now?” and it is check-mate. Now the Congress is left with no choice. Sonia Gandhi is definitely out of the picture as a PM candidate. As Subramaniyam Swamy would be quick to point out, the elections would become “Om vs Rome”. The only person who comes marginally close to giving any real challenge to Modi is P.Chidambaram. But the Congress doesn't seem to be tilting that way- and given the current economic crisis India is plagued with, Raguram Rajan would be a better pick.
So now the Congress is left with a Hobson’s choice – don’t declare a PM candidate at all. This, again, is open to all forms of attacks. If the image that BJP is even a bit more decisive than the Congress sets into people’s minds, then it is game over for Congress. Undoubtedly, the BJP will be pushing for Congress to name someone- just about anyone- as their PM candidate. The Congress’s refusal to do so will only be pilloried as their inability to find anyone suitable for the job or anyone to match up to Modi’s persona. So irrespective of whether or not the Congress picks a PM candidate, it is the BJP who has the most to gain.
I’m not arguing that Modi deserves to be PM or even BJP’s candidate for the same. I’m objectively stating that from the point of view of the BJP and RSS, picking Modi at this juncture was the right thing to do as it now gives them a huge upper hand. All Modi needs to do (and I predict he will in due course of time) is speak up about the 2002 Godhra riots and reassert his innocence. Right now, his silence is costing him dear. To pre-empt any Congress attacks on that front by coming out with a statement first will surely put the Congress in a bind. The best they can say is “Why say all this after so many years?” to which he can reply “Because although my conscience was always clear, you people can just not seem to let it go.”
Sure, Modi is polarizing. Yes, he is controversial in his own way. Certainly he has a character that is binary. But given the circumstances, the opportunity cost incurred by the BJP by not declaring him the PM candidate would just have been too great.
What is the difference between a duck?
Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar
Insomnia
My insomnia was chronic, and rather episodic-
A recurring and periodic topic.
The tropic music - melodic,
Though far from rhapsodic -
Soporific, hypnotic, toxic.
To me sleeplessness was endemic,
As it was to the gothic and Celtic,
Like the heroic, the rustic, the hectic.
It was rather ironic that this stoic comic
Should ever feel hypnogogic, somnific.
I consulted the medic, who gave me a tonic
Of a particular Enolic fabric.
I tasted the emetic,
It was some form of lactic,
Laced with an exotic, erotic narcotic.
Now I was in panic. Almost flying automatic,
I raced for the ionic antibiotic.
Not to be heroic, but this idiotic aquatic
Ionic hydric antibiotic
Escaped my myopic optic.
I was a manic bereft of logic
Like a quixotic aboulic -
A robotic, neurotic psychotic.
At one level cynic, like a stoic would mimic,
An iconic panegyric with no lyric.
-Abhinav.S
Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.
(via grizzlytales)
I cannot understand how anyone can be an Indian and not be proud.
Indira Gandhi
Hostel Registration
On the day of the hostel registration
People were filled with frustration
And then the server crashed
And on the site was splashed
"There's going to be a re-registration."
Inferno
Dan Brown's book Inferno
brings out a crisis we all know.
The world population
Is crippling evolution
But everyone is busy watching porno.
Railway minister
P.K. Bansal, the railway minister Got into deeds quite sinister. And when he was outed The BJP shouted "He should resign along with the Prime Minister".
A limerick on X
There was once a variable named X,
which was real, imaginary and complex.
But when it was lost
Almost everyone forgot
that it was also a chromosome to find out their sex.
Electronic Typewriter
A friend of mine, a real blighter Got himself a typewriter. Being electronic It was rather moronic But it weighed 8 kilos lighter.