Robert Robertson III, Waterboy x Reader (Seperate)
- gender neutral in most settings, only in Robert's extra does it mention boobs on the reader, lol!
- suggestive in some parts of robert's and waterboy's section, i couldn't help it. hermy is also veeery subby
- beef gets LOTS of love in these :)
It was your turn to take Beef to the vet to get his annual vaccines, and it just so happened that the little guy was adamant on seeing his dad after. He wouldn’t stop whining, especially after he saw the lockscreen of you and Robert on your phone. Poor Beef.
Before you parked your car at SDN, though, you quickly ducked up to the nearby bakery, purchasing a box full of his favourite donuts: an assortment of jelly, glazed and those long, creamy ones. They had an uncanny resemblance to ‘dicks’, but you decided never to question it when he always gobbled them down with a satisfied smile.
Royd recognised you immediately in the lobby, chatting you up with that casual smile of his and unintentionally walking with you to the elevator. You were relieved, honestly, as it was a free pass on proving the random intern at the front desk that you weren’t a villain scheming their way into HQ. For that, you gave him a donut.
“O-Oh! It’s- Beefy! Beef.. Hello!” An anxious voice cut through your conversation with Royd, and a wet man with significant tension to his shoulders sent you a shy wave, looking to pet the dog. Royd sighed and patted you on the shoulder, walking back to his station.
“C-Can I..?” The damp figure asked politely, and you couldn’t help but smile, the sort of demeanour he presented coming off as refreshing. Especially after dealing with so many people in your own life that make you wonder: How do you still have friends? Beef seemed more than familiar with this wet individual: licking his cheeks (albeit slightly groggily) when he found his way into his arms and yipping happily when he was cuddled. It sparked an idea in you.
“Hey, would you happen to know where Robert Robertson is?” You prepared yourself for the laugh or disbelieved look at the name, however,
“R-Robert? He’s- Yeah- My dispat-patcher? He’s.. somewhere. Breakroom. He’s in the.. Breakroom!”
So this must be the ‘Waterboy’ Robert has mentioned on quite a few occasions. He explained how he probably had the biggest heart in the team, but needed to work on his self-esteem issues. A sweet guy overall.
“H-How do you know him?” He asked with a soft smile as Beef licked at the button of his nose, where a stray drop of water was forming at its edge. Waterboy’s eyes quickly widened and his shoulders seemed to curve even more inward as he realised the possible implications- “I-I-I’m sorry.. That was rude- nosy of me..” Beef picked up on his anxiety almost immediately, his little tail wagging immensely as his tongue darted out to lick all over his face as a means to cheer him up.
“No, not at all! I’m just here to drop off this big baby,” You scratched under Beef’s chin before continuing, “to my boyfriend. He speaks highly of you.. Waterboy..?”
“Waterboy! Me, y-yes.. I-” His cheeks flushed when he processed the information that someone he looked up to valued him, spoke highly of him- even. They got even redder when he realised you were said partner.
“Oh- OH! Pleased to meeting.. Meet you!”
Robert really wasn’t kidding when he spoke about Waterboy’s self-esteem issue. Noticing you looking around the hallway, he assumed for Robert, the man in front of you gently placed a now wet Beef onto the floor, watching as the dog shook off the moisture. Waterboy waved again before pointing vaguely to the direction of the breakroom. “Donut?” You offered, but he shyly declined before walking into a room labelled ‘Janitor’s Closet’.
With the box of freshly baked treats in hand, you followed as the absolute unit of a dog galloped, pawed and whined at another door labelled ‘Break Room’. Perfect.
Though.. What once was a room full of muffled chatter and banter went completely silent when you walked in, holding a large box that would possibly be suspicious to an onlooker.
“Yo, looks like your ‘Extra Large Purple Suction Tentacled Dildo’ finally came in, Flambae!”
“Shut your fucking fuck up before I make you invisible forever!”
“Damn, he ain’t denying it, though–”
“I told you he wasn’t that kind of boob guy.”
The comments came in quick succession, completely ignoring your presence as that lively banter returned.
And in the middle of it all, a pair of brown eyes you had come to adore slowly turned to you, just to widen like a deer in headlights. Robert began violently coughing, to the point almost choking, and spat out part of his twinkie.
“Don’t tell me Robert’s in this shit too..”
You spared a glance to your boyfriend, an eyebrow raised as you silently stalked closer to his table and set the box of ‘phallic objects’ down beside the twinkie wrappers. Whatever Robert had told you about the dynamic of the Z-Team could have never, ever, prepared you for what you had just walked into.
Robert rubbed his temples harshly, pretending to act annoyed despite the little smile tucked under his lips. His hand met yours under the table, and the two of you just stared at each other, acting as if his coworkers weren’t actively debating him and ‘Flambae’s relationship.
“Now you gotta be DESPERATE if you goin’ after him! That ass’ too big for-”
Like when you entered, the team dropped into silence. Each and every one of them having different expressions on their face as their gazes fell between you, then him, then your intertwined hands under the table.
And, in the blink of an eye, it all went back into chaos.
“He finally score a sweetheart, ey?”
“How in the fuck did he fuckinggetafucking-”
“Shiiiit. Nice, dude! Proud of you.”
“Is he a boob guy or not?”
“I dunno. I still get virgin vibes from him.”
“Hey, whateveryournameis, he gotta big dick or nah?”
“Alright, alright, that’s enough. I have a partner, end of story.” Robert announced loudly in a stern tone, shutting them down effortlessly as if he’d gone through this routine a million times. His voice quieted to a mumble as he leaned closer to you, asking, “You okay with them knowing? It’s a lot, I know, but-”
All it took to quiet his worries was a squeeze of his hand and a reassuring smile. One that had his knee bouncing and tips of his ears flushing. He was such a sucker for you it had some members of the Z-Team audibly cringe in the background. (*Cough cough, Flambae and Prism.*)
“For fucks sake, leave the lovey-dovey shite for the bedroom, you pricks!”
Meeting the team was, one could say, an ‘experience’, but it was easy to gloss over the barrage of questions upon seeing the little smile that never left your boyfriends face in that breakroom.
“Yeah. Toootally fucking. Rawdogging and all. Can’t get enough of each other.” Robert rolled his eyes at the mention, already getting a migraine at the thought of the hot-heated superhero. Though, the reveal of your relationship to the team was sure to send that rumour to rest- he was at least thankful for that.
You pulled him in closer on the couch, watching as he nuzzled into your chest just to feel the vibrations of your heartbeat. Beef had managed to nuzzle into Robert’s back, sprawled out and snoring lightly against his ear peacefully.
“Now, more importantly, ‘Boob guy or not’?”
“That’s what you’re focused on? Does my face literally being pressed against one scream ‘I despise boobies. Look at me, the boob-hater.’” He quipped up again, not bothering to look up and letting his voice come out muffled amid his sarcasm. There was more pressure on your chest as he tightened his arms around your sides and nuzzled his face closer. “Why is Sonar so obsessed with boobs..”
“G-Gosh.. It feels..” Herman writhed under your onslaught of kisses to below his jaw, under his earlobe and neck. His wet body was trapped under you, arching slightly against the brittle wall behind him. Every small touch had sent his body on fire, his flush growing redder with every kiss you placed on his slippery skin. “Please.. Please more. More of.. it.”
You knew how much of a hard worker he was, especially how unnoticed that effort was when it came to the leaderboards and meetings, so what better way to reward him than surprise him on his break? Not that anyone would really notice, Herman always spoke of how peaceful it was in the Janitor’s Office. Even with how sad it was, he always tended to put a positive spin on it in order not to worry you.
“So beautiful for me, Herman. Do you know that? Do you know you’re..” Slowly, you traced your lips across his neck and collarbones, lightly sucking at the sensitive skin around his adam’s apple. “..the most handsome,” A quick squeeze of his waist that had him cover his moans with his palm, “kind,” a gentle tug of his earlobe from your teeth, “sexiest,” you emphasised the word with a blow of air to a hickey you had placed previously. He could only whimper and tug at the strands of your hair in response, too shy and pent up to form any sort of verbal response. You continued.
“And strongest man I’ve ever met, Herman..”
At that, he drooled. Drooled. It only urged you on further, utterly captivated by the responses his body was sending you from your praises. With only 20 minutes left of his break, you made sure to not waste a second.
“Look, just clean that shit up before your next shift. The breakroom’s a pigsty.”
Flambae could not have wished for his day to get anymore shittier. All he did was gracefully throw a smoothie at Invisibitch for asking where his fingers went. She, of all people, should be cleaning it up! Or even better, Wetbabybitchboy! Talk about favouritism.
Groaning, he tugged along a cackling Prism and Malevola to find some sort of cleaning supplies. It was highly unlikely that they’d help, but, he’d rather drop dead than be seen cleaning a mess of blended berries by himself. He had an image and standards to maintain, thank you!
“Janitor’s Closet should have tons of cleaning stuff. I guess just grab whatever’s closest.” Malevola shrugged, sipping her mug of.. Fluids and laughing at a jest Prism made about a particularly rude civilian earlier today. One that had ended in a dance off that the popstar had dominated with ease.
When they arrived at the door of the Janitor’s Closet, both women gave him an odd look.
“I just reapplied my perfume.”
“It smells gross in there, man.”
Flambae rolled his eyes, huffing and turning around and muttering something about them being ‘weirdos’- mostly because he had not clue what to get and was relying on anyone else to just, maybe, pick something semi-useful out without making him look like an idiot.
Before opening the door, however, another dispatcher in the company abruptly stopped in their tracks outside, turned to the three, then walked off rather quickly than they came.
“Damn, what’s his problem?”
“Ain’t that the dude from Florida? Checks out.”
“You hear about the guy who-”
In one ear and out the other, Flambae had officially given up on relying on them to find something and just decided to wing-it. His hand gripped the door tightly, shoving it open with such force that it slammed into the other wall and knocked over a few buckets into the surrounding shelves.
As his muscular frame stepped closer to grab at the strewn about buckets, he froze at the scene playing out in front of him that might just haunt him for the upcoming week.
The whole front of your outfit had gotten soaked by this point, drenched from pressing up against his bare torso and fondling your hands around his upper torso. Despite pulling yourselves away from one another, the evidence did not make the situation look any less compromising for the two of you.
“It’s always the quiet ones.”
Malevola snorted, having watched from the outside and, being confused as to why Flambae had become a statue mid-squat, became another witness to Waterboy’s scandal.
Herman burst into a fit of stutters, stumbles and squeaks, begging them not to tell anyone about this while trying to protect you at the same time. “T-They, you.. had nothing do- to do with me! This, uh- please, my fault a-and doing!” He stood in front of you, fumbling with the zipper of his suit and failing, whining as he did so.
“You a freak, wetbitch.” The fiery man looked beyond disgusted, just about ready to throw up at the sight of the lanky man drenched in wet kisses.
“The fuck?” Prism spat out her latte, nearly walking into Flambae’s back when she saw Herman in that state, and the (at least to her, much more attractive) figure that was you next to him. For a moment she almost pitied you and your dating choices, but chose not to say anything.
Herman hung his head low, looking back at you with a guilty expression that urged you to step forward and finally clear him of any faults.
“It was my-” You weren’t even able to get a full sentence out before the rest of his coworkers barged in, ushered to the space by none other than Malevola. It exploded into cheers, gasps and whistles.
“You guys do realise I wasn’t kidding when I said Waterboy could get people wet, right? Right?” A small and irritable woman, who you’d come to briefly know as ‘Invisigal’, pointed between you like she’d solved a mystery.
“Wait, you knew about this?”
“Yeah, dude, man’s been at it for months. I was just waiting till someone else noticed.”
The Z-Team was kind enough not to report it, though, it wasn’t without a strict one-on-one discussion with Robert about ‘keeping intimacy out of the workplace’.
thank you for reading!! this is my first proper dispatch post, and first time posting anything this suggestive! hope you enjoyed it :)
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