The Dark Modern Anachronist.

An Account of The Strange and Cringey Adventures of one C. Marve Young (They/She, 40+). Containing All Divers Mannere of Dumbassery Regarding The Historie, Musick, Fashion, and Cookery of The Modern Era, As Well As The Author's Numerous Complaints About Life in Vermont. NB: Occasional NSFW Content.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

I'm seriously considering making a pinned post for this blog that just says "if you somehow ended up here due to a Google search and you're not familiar with Tumblr subculture, TURN BACK NOW. DO NOT READ".

[lickingandsuckingchristmascoins]

come over

[trangoldin]

American diet and "healthy living" culture is insane and runs DEEP

[jennamoran]

who the heck is eating dice, cards, and pool

[aniseandspearmint]

WHAT is the first one supposed to be? It looks like 'piecing between meals' to me, but that can't be what it says, right?

[prfury-lavaca]

It does in fact say “piecing between meals” and it refers to snacking

[prokopetz]

I'm more struck by the fact that the progression set forth here implies that laudanum and cocaine are less concerning that spicing your food.

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

early medieval france dash simulator

👸 aquitaine-eleanor-20

embarassing to call yourself a patron of the arts and then say your favorite song is "can vei la lauzeta mover" like ok congrats! even the serfs have heard that one!

#check my pinned for an intro post to troubadour song #serfs DNI

213 notes

✏️ oliver.writes.a.lot Follow

roland x f!reader

warnings: song of roland spoilers, graphic violence (his brain falls out),

Read more

#song of roland #roland x reader #roland #roland fanfic #fin'amor

458 notes

🥐 not.much.to.do.in.anjou Follow

#what the fuck #not to dox myself but i literally live in aquitaine #whose subject am i now #of course i find this out news from the fucking destiel meme

123,235 notes

🐺 xx-bisclavret-did-nothing-wrong-xx Follow

if i found out my husband was a cool sexy werewolf i simply would not cheat on him and indefinitely trap him in the form of an inarticulate beast. rip bisclavret's wife but im different

🗡️ sa.la.din

he literally lied to her repeatedly and gaslighted her what are you on

🐺 xx-bisclavret-did-nothing-wrong-xx Follow

is the gaslighting in the room with us

#literally sick of the bisclavret slander #as though anyone would accept him if he told them he was a werewolf!! #they would have killed him!! #do you expect him to have just volunteered that info?? #lady bisclavret is problematic as hell but ok #die on that hill if you want to

245 notes

🟥 innocent3

read my fucking DNI before you follow me. cathars are NOT welcome on my blog

#DNIs exist for a reason #literally about to go on crusade im fucking sick of this shit

9 notes

💭 paraclet-heloise

not to stir the pot but i honestly don't think marrying solely for economic reasons is a great idea. like not to endorse the troubadours but they kind of ate with the concept of romantic love

342 notes

🎀 elaine1135 Follow

@ marie-de-france write a lai about lancelot and guinevere im begging

📚 albigensian.gal

GO READ CHRETIEN DE TROYES IF YOU WANT LANCELOT AND GUINEVERE we do not need more lancevere content shut the fuck upppp

#read chevrefoil if you're soooo desperate for courtly love content #tristan and iseult are way more interesting anyway #even though tristan is from cornwall :(

67 notes

🎓 pete.abelard

i just got into the university of paris!!

#im so excited i can't believe it #i just got the news #gotta brush up on my latin

2 notes

🛡️ cornwall4life Follow

if you ship tristan x iseult of the white hands unfollow me right now

#supporting this is actually disgusting #thomas' tristan is a DNF for me #of course you would replace iseult with another iseult just so they can get married #as though courtly love is not the only reason anyone reads this #honestly wtf #guess im a lancevere again #at least there's no weird second guinevere subplot

693 notes

💭 paraclet-heloise

eleanor of aquitaine got an annulment??

👑 henryiicool4u Follow

she's single??

🗡️ sa.la.din

#eleanor if you're seeing this my DMs are open

59,578 notes

🎨moine-de-cluny

yes!! new manuscript will be dropping this whitsuntide! here's a sneak peak :)

#worked super hard on this one so im excited for everyone to see it #there will definitely be some creatures you will not have seen before

25 notes

🟥 innocent3

like this post if you want to go on crusade

473 notes

[timemachineyeah]

Spirit Animal is racist.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

I think it’s time we all suck it up and say what we mean: fursona.

[xxlovelynovaxx-deactivated20241]

I know this is a jokey post (rip OPs notes) but a fursona is typically an animal REPRESENTATION of YOURSELF, not an external animal that is strongly meaningful to you and your life/journey.

I've seen daemon and familiar proposed, but to keep in line with the cursedness of the original post, may I suggest: spiritual tamagotchi

[timemachineyeah]

do you have any idea how refreshing it is to see a correction/suggestion to this post that actually understands the assignment

[hmspolychrest]

catastrophically based stephen once again

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

I've mostly been spared hot flashes during all this nonsense, possibly because fibro kinda wrecked my temperature regulation so I'm not normal to begin with. But hi. I'm up at 4AM because I'm too warm.

I count myself lucky that I haven't had too much gender dysphoria to deal with over the years but Jesus fuck it is obnoxious to have to think about my vagoo and low estrogen levels every damn day now.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

In other news... started talking to T. again and I made the mistake of mentioning health issues... now she's trying to throw all these TCM suggestions at me. I was trying to be nice and stay conversational while still hinting that I need evidence before I do anything, and she... sent me an AI-generated wall of text summarizing/hallucinating what peri remedies people are recommending on Red Note. I have NO idea how to respond to this. Does she really want me to think she wrote that? I've chided her about using AI chat bots before because they literally nearly ruined her vacation last year. I know that just telling people off or picking apart the factual inaccuracies in the Mad Libs Generator text doesn't actually convince anyone to stop. Do I just draw a personal boundary and say don't send that shit to ME and just grit my teeth and say nothing knowing she's falling into the gen-AI hole?

And she is one of the few people I've met out here who actually wanted to be friends, but like... I can't even with the whole "water has memory" and healing crystals stuff and now THIS.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Everyone goes for the big theropod photo op but what about the ceratopsians and the duck-billed dinosaurs. I love that Protoceratops nest. And the texture of the fossilized skin on that Hadrosaurus.

The last time I was at the AMNH was when I was still a kid. My uncle was living in NY at the time and when we came out to visit, he took us here knowing full well that Sibling and I were huge dinosaur nerds. He's really the only one of my dad's siblings who was even willing to see us for who we were, and he was pretty mad when he found out that Dad had been deliberately hiding our interests in art and biological illustration from him to prevent him from encouraging and mentoring us. It is heartbreaking in retrospect, but also at least a little funny that my dad was really convinced nurture trumped nature only to have that eventually, inevitably blow up in his face.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Let's undergo permineralization and replacement with mama

[danielkanhai]

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

[ayellowbirds]

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

[erkhyan]

And now, a lesson in biases:

We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We don’t even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.

Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a “precursor” ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascar’s current population.

The point is, we do not know.

So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascar’s human history?

Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone else’s pet Major Event.

[ayellowbirds]

It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

I feel like a bit of an ass doing the Instagram thing at an actual omakase place so I did not do this for every dish. But I'm so happy to finally have the good stuff again and I want to fucking remember this so I can remind myself that nice things still exist sometimes.

Excellent quality fish and great flavor pairings. The chef here seems fond of torch-searing the fattier cuts and topping them with stronger-flavored condiments than what you would get with the same pieces raw. I dig it.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Dinosaur fossil posting will have to wait. We're going to go have proper sushi for dinner BECAUSE WE'RE IN NEW YORK GODDAMMIT

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Obligatory charismatic megafauna fossil photo dump:

And I adore this Edaphosaurus skeleton next to all the prehistoric mammals; it's a synapsid, which means it's on an evolutionary branch closer to present-day mammals than to present-day reptiles, although it came along waaay before mammals themsleves ever did (I do wish they had made the significant time gap between this specimen and the others much more clear in the display signage). The very similar-looking Dimetrodon is also a synapsid, and that species got put in all the dinosaur books when I was a kid. :p

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Now that Spouse also studies evolutionary biology and animal intelligence it turns out we are both ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE inside a museum like the AMNH. Jesus Christ what a pair of nerds we are.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

LETTING ME LOOSE IN A NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM IS LIKE LETTING A NORMAL KID LOOSE IN A CANDY STORE

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT COLLECTIONS DISPLAYS DO TO MY BRAIN

You have to understand, back when I was a wee little sprout I loved going to the Cal Academy of Sciences to look at their collections displays and I know enough about museum design to understand why museums have moved away from static displays and towards more interactive experiential learning stuff intended to be more all-ages inclusive... but listen. Me and a lot of the rest of the kids in the Weird Brain Club loved these things and it turns out this is some terribly nostalgic catnip for me.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

LET ME IN TO YOUR COLLECTIONS ROOMS I AM NORMAL AND CAN BE TRUSTED

Full Nerd Mode Activated seeing those specimen shelves peeking out from behind the displays. Back in SF, I did so many summer programs at the CalAcademy as a kid because we got to go behind the scenes and look at the equipment for maintaining the aquariums and explore the specimen collections. I don't know if the new CalAcademy even lets young kids into their collections rooms anymore. I hope the AMNH has kids' programs like that, because my God what an insane treat these archives would be for budding biology nerds who aren't yet old enough to be in there for proper research. That kinda stuff was so meaningful to me in elementary and middle school, much more than I even realized.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

LETTING ME LOOSE IN A NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM IS LIKE LETTING A NORMAL KID LOOSE IN A CANDY STORE

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT COLLECTIONS DISPLAYS DO TO MY BRAIN

You have to understand, back when I was a wee little sprout I loved going to the Cal Academy of Sciences to look at their collections displays and I know enough about museum design to understand why museums have moved away from static displays and towards more interactive experiential learning stuff intended to be more all-ages inclusive... but listen. Me and a lot of the rest of the kids in the Weird Brain Club loved these things and it turns out this is some terribly nostalgic catnip for me.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

LETTING ME LOOSE IN A NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM IS LIKE LETTING A NORMAL KID LOOSE IN A CANDY STORE