One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures.

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@haveasipofmoriartea
One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures.
So I went to go look at some cats today at a shelter and there was a little skinny cat named Jimmy Dean (like the breakfast sandwiches) and he was purring and sitting on my lap and I asked the volunteer what the adoption process was like and she explained it and then said “hear that Jimmy Dean, you might have a home for Christmas!”
GIVE ME THE FORMS RIGHT NOW IM TAKING THIS CAT
I NEED ONE (1) SMALL BOY
TOMORROW I AM ADOPTING MY BOY
JIMMY DEAN IS GETTING A HOME FOR CHRISTMAS DAMMIT
ON MY WAY TO GET MY BOY
SHOW US THE BOY
MY BOY
BEST BOY
HELLO YES I NEED UPDATES ON THE BOY! IS HE OKAY? IS HE HAPPY? IS HE BEING SPOILED? HOW IS THE BABY OP HOW IS THE BABY???????!!!!!!
Oh, he is very spoiled 😂
Yesterday was actually the one year anniversary of when I adopted him!
He’s a smelly little jerk but I love him with all my heart.
this is what happens when you name your pokemon before you know what it evolves into.
she still baby tho…
no thoughts word doc empty
many thoughts word doc being edited on my phone in the publix cracker aisle
Hey, do you know that feeling of hitching up a long skirt so you don’t fall on your face when walking upstairs, and then you immediately become a wretched yet resolute Jane Austen character? It’s a universal thing, right?
It’s like resting a laundry basket against your hip and suddenly you’re a long-suffering peasant woman, wondering if you’ll survive the winter.
a shawl wrapped around the shoulders and you’re wandering the moors in a Brönte novel, feeling melancholic
Looking out the window at the rain and you’re a love-stricken newlywed wondering when your husband will return from the war.
Long skirt billowing behind you while to go down the stairs, you’re a proper Lady in a flowing ball gown being introduced at a fancy social function.
Hair blowing in the wind and suddenly you’re hovering on a cliff by the sea, staring out into the waves and praying your merchant husband will return from his voyage across the ocean
Hood up against the rain and wind and you’re a medieval abbess defying the weather and travelling on foot with your people to find a place to establish a new community.
Step onto the grass while wearing lace-up boots and you’re a nine-year-old girl from 1902 who is neglecting her embroidery in favor of Dashing and even Leaping
Hair, skirt, and sleeves billowing in the wind and you’re a powerful sorceress summoning a storm to defend the keep from an invading army.
Pick up a bow and arrow(real or fake) and suddenly you’re an elven prince of the woodland realm, fighting in a great war to free the kingdoms of earth from an oppressing tyrant.
They have nine beverages between the two of them
i have that painting ai app on my phone so i went ahead and took the liberty…
What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.
The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?
They are trying to learn modern dancing… well, they have all the time in the world!
Crowley + Tumblr text posts
wait WHAT
Wait, so… does -copter come *from* helicopter?
Yep! This is called rebracketing. Another famous example would be “-burger”: the original food item is named after the German city, [Hamburg]+[er], but got semantically reinterpreted as [ham]+[burger]. Now it’s used as a suffix indicating a type of sandwich.
I love etymology!!!!!
new movement to not pronounce the p in helicopter
shit I missed my window, next week I guess
Reblog on Tuesday to let your followers know it’s safe to leave the bog
in 20 years this post will be totally incomprehensible
I REFUSE to let that happen
Things Not to Do in a Cemetery
By someone who works at one.
Please don’t leave glass items on your loved one’s grave. I understand the urge, really I do. But those vases/picture frames/beer bottles/fancy solar lights/etc are gonna break eventually, and be a pain in the ass for everyone involved.
Different cemeteries have different regulations when it comes to what’s allowed in the park and what’s not, and some are more lenient than others about enforcing those regulations. If you’re not sure, ask someone who works there.
If you put up tiny plastic fences and solar lights and garden decorations around your loved one’s space it will probably be removed at some point bc y’all… The grounds crew needs to mow the grass. And some of that stuff is probably technically against the rules anyways, but everyone’s trying to be nice about it.
Do not sit on or lean against any of the markers or memorials. They may all be made of granite, but the upright ones will flop right over if you push them hard enough, and if the ground is wet the flats will sink into the dirt. Also it’s fucking rude. If someone sees you sitting on their mom’s headstone, they might just kick your ass.
Decorations around a grave will be removed if they are broken, or if a grave side service/ burial is going to take place nearby. We do need to bring heavy machinery in to dig graves, and for outside services there are also tents and chairs laid out. If you notice the decorations have been disturbed, it’s probably not vandalism BUT if you’re not sure, it never hurts to ask.
I personally don’t care if you want to place food or drink on your loved one’s grave. It’s very common. But if you complain about ants all over the headstone, and I go out to see that it’s because you left a whole ass packet of oreos and an open six pack of corona, I’m not gonna be impressed or happy. Like I’ll be nice about it, but I will think you’re a dumbass.
If the cemetery allows you to bring pets into the park, that’s great. That’s chill. Please pick up after them. No one likes to see a big pile of dog shit in the middle of the cremation garden.
Do not fuck in the cemetery. I swear to fucking god. Don’t even make out in the cemetery. You shouldn’t be doing that shit in public anyways. I don’t care about your morbid goth fetish. Some grandma is going to see you getting frisky next to her son’s grave, and beat you to death with her purse and the ten pounds of silk floral arrangements she brought to place there.
Don’t be afraid to visit. We want these parks to be a place where you can both mourn and celebrate the person who died. I regularly see families who have picnics out there, especially on holidays. If you haven’t visited in a while and aren’t sure where your loved one is, ask someone on staff. It’s our job to help you find them, and no one is going to judge you for visiting for the first time in like 10 years.
Due to recent events, I have decided to update my list.
Do not be naked in the cemetery.
can't wait until i have a wife so i can say "i love my wife" and introduce her to people by saying "i'd like you to meet my wife" and get out of boring social engagements by saying "i have to go home to my wife" and talk about her to anyone who will listen to me because she's my wife and i adore her
and how could i possibly forget, show my appreciation of her achievements by pointing wildly and shouting "THAT'S MY WIFE!!!" before running over to hug and kiss her and tell her how wonderful she is and how much i love her
damn all you have to do is say "wife" and it's like an incantation for summoning every wlw on this site
Ellsworth Kelly, Austin
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this is the sword of good fortune, may it aid you in your travels.
You compared me to an animal yet were surprised when I attacked. Did you forget that beasts have claws and teeth?
What kind of Shakespeare copy is this
“Thou calledst me dog before thou hadst a cause.
But since I am a dog, beware my fangs.”
- Merchant of Venice, Act 3 Scene 3