Theo-blog-ically speaking

Spiritually minded musings by Rev. Margaret Hawk, former pastor of New Creation Metropolitan Community Church, Columbus, OH. (www.newcreationmcc.org). As part of my daily spiritual practice, I look for a picture on Flickr.com that inspires me and then I write...

[hawk27577]

Becoming

 The road to   becoming one’s best self -   finding their place in the big scheme -     and becoming aware    of deep connections   that ask for wholehearted balance   is different for everyone

  What opens one person's eyes   closes another person's heart

  What destroys one person's hope   births it in another  

  What inspires one person to try again   defeats another person forever

  What leaves one person raw and uncertain   steels the determination of another

  Sometimes the best we can do   is pray that our road will lead to seeing   even when our eyes are shut tight in fear   when the map is upside down   when we aren’t sure what we’re looking for   and we haven’t managed   to leave the backyard   or venture across the street

  maybe along with boots   map   compass   and curiosity   we should memorize a few words   to remind us that   love is the only meaningful direction   trustworthy guide   or true answer

  when love is present   all is not lost -    not even us -   no matter how many streets   we cross    or how long   we refuse to leave the backyard.

[hawk27577]

The time has come...

When it's time For the pussy willow to "bloom" It doesn't hesitate to Push past the husk The seed pod The chaff The hull That kept it safe while it grew.

Now it’s time for that  Cute, fuzzy, ball To be what it is  Destined to be. It has more stages  To go through And even though it doesn’t Really look like other flowers One thing it needs to do Is make pollen For the bees who are just waking up

It isn't arrogant for the blossom to say "The hull no longer serves me” Once it has served its own Divine design, It must be let go   It has fulfilled its purpose and No one, not even God, Can ask any more of it..

What hull are you ready  To burst forth from What has to be cracked open And split asunder If you are to go on To pollinate the world With your light and love Your creativity and questions Your laughter and tears

Whatever it is,  Bless it! Thank it for bringing you this far! Thank God for it And continue to grow - Don’t let what held you Hold you back -  For if you fail to move forward, Its work was all in vain.

[hawk27577]

To be - or not to be...

  Crocuses   are sturdy enough to grow and bloom   even when they get snowed on.   They need not rebuke the snow   or call upon the the Spirit to   give them strength to endure the snow.   If a crocus will just be what it is   it will live as if the snow has no affect on it   and, indeed,   the snow will not have an affect on it.

  Sometimes,   even after the crocuses come up,   it’s going to snow.

  Sometimes, the circumstances   in which we find ourselves   have nothing to do with spiritual warfare,   attracting negativity into our own lives,   manifesting strife or   reliving past trauma.

  Sometimes, the circumstances   in which we find ourselves   are just the natural course of events.

  Whether spring temperatures are   kissing the soil with warmth,   or the snow is still falling,   the crocus only has one choice -   be a crocus.

  Whether things seem to be   going well   or ill   we have two choices -   remain true to our nature   or discover what our nature is.

  With as little fear   or fanfare   as possible,   we must simply remain aligned   to that which already defines us,   inspires us,   empowers us,   strengthens us,   instills serenity.

  When in doubt,   explore any mindset,   theology,   guru,   or practice   until you find your soul   sighing with sighs   of recognition and delight   that are too deep for words.

  Then you will be home.   Then you will have found   a reflection of,   the words for,   an image you recognize,   of what you already are.

  When a crocus, hardy and compact,   blooms despite the snow,   I notice   I see beauty and wonder   hope and promise   comfort and reassurance.   I am inspired.   I am encouraged.

  And I realize that   living to my fullest   with as little fear or fanfare   as possible   in circumstances of   ease or agitation   is an opportunity for   whoever may be watching   to take away whatever insight   they’re in need of.

[hawk27577]

Crashing

  water rushing out   along the sand   and over the rocks   meets   water rushing in   water rushing out   meets water driven in   by winds   or even storms way offshore   water driven in   sucks the water rushing out   into a crashing   dynamic   meeting of the ways

  no parting of the ways here   no outgoing and incoming   passing like ships in the night   or keeping a polite distance   together at the same time   equally present   the dynamics create a   beauty    that holds water   and sand   air   and shells   millions of tiny creatures   and trillions of tiny plants   within the crash

  incoming spirit   outgoing body -   or is it the other way around -   equally present   together at the same time   the beauty of our crash   holds experience   and prayer   music   and emotion   thought   action   intention   and so much more   

[hawk27577]

What’s at stake?

   from whom    am i protecting    my treasure    my secrets    my precious ammunition    leverage for mutual tranquility?    against what    do i protect them?    judgment    ridicule    theft    breakage    healing?    if i must protect    against judgment    ridicule    or theft    from the people who    know me well enough    to get close enough    to even know    i have this coffer,    should they be the people    who are allowed that close?    if what's hidden within    is already broken    judged    ridiculed    or missing pieces and parts    from previous thieving,    insult    or carelessness    how will the healing come    unless i throw open the lid    to the One    who knows just how    soul-sick    my secrets     can make    and keep me

   The Great Love    hovers near    offering to overturn all judgment    silence all ridicule    repay any theft    and repair all breakage    so that coffers    chests    and caskets    might forever be thrown wide    so that meaning comes from    the chaos within    so that imagination     tames the void    so that new dreams    new visions    new treasure    new life    rises out of the release  

[hawk27577]

Pray louder?

The more trouble I have hearing God's answers when I pray the more likely I am to pray louder and louder until I start screaming start bargaining start begging The more trouble I have getting God to do what I want the more likely I am to start screaming bargaining begging. Screaming bargaining begging - may manipulate other people, but it never works with God - so I might as well save my breath, or sing instead... both of which increase my chances of being calm enough to recognize God’s answer when it does come

The answer might be  no  or not yet but it also might be  what I asked for to begin with - but in an unexpected package -  or something even better.

It's just that in the space between not having what I wanted materialize in my hands  like so much bread  or wine -  and receiving the better blessing -  I sometimes lose my patience and think that I'm being ignored... but screaming,  bargaining and begging will never convince God to give me an inferior gift. 

[hawk27577]

The road to seeing

   The road through life    is different for everyone   What inspires one person to try harder   defeats another person forever     What opens one person's eyes    closes another person's heart    What destroys one person's hope    births it in another    What leaves one person raw and uncertain    steels the determination of another    Sometimes the best we can do    is pray that our road will lead to seeing    even when our eyes are shut tight in fear    Sometimes the best we can do    is trust that right behind is     someone who can help us    find the way    carry us a while     when we’re too tired to    make any more choices    by calming our fear    our doubt    our confusion    with encouragement    with love    When love is present    all is not lost -     and if we're not lost    we can be on the path to seeing    something    new

[hawk27577]

Letting Go

   Releasing old attachments    creates the opening    through which     the next chapter begins

   The past got you here    gave you life    nurtured you    bruised you, perhaps    lifted you toward the sun    held you securely    so you had the chance    to become full    ready    fully ready

   If you hang on now    you will never realize    just what those gifts    prepared you to be    and do    and give

   The choice is always ours -    wither on the branch    and maybe feed    a hungry bird    or risk the hurt    to sow some seeds    to burst with flavor    to be juicy    for a glorious moment

[hawk27577]

Change

   Change -    change your mind    change your style    change your focus -    it’s OK    try new paint    replace the hardware    change the lock    throw away the key    it’s OK    Who you are remains    fundamentally the same -    a doorway for the divine    a keeper of sacred spaces    who knows when to keep one’s own council    and when to throw a party!    when to be quiet    so babies can sleep    and people can pray    and when to gather at the table    to sustain one another with    food and stories and laughter and love…    Who you are remains    fundamentally the same -    so choose and choose again    open or closed    sealed or ajar    fanciful or practical    the changes give you character    and another story to share around the table    and another layer of knowledge about yourself    Who you are remains    fundamentally the same -    a fanciful    practical    fearful    courageous    keeper    sharer    who’s been pierced    sanded    rattled and    pounded    and yet continues to open and close    right on schedule and just in time    Who you are remains    fundamentally the same -    a portal of welcome for the    least, last and lost,    a threshold of welcome for    prodigals sons and daughters,    an entry (or exit) for following    the call    to be on THE WAY    no matter where you are

[hawk27577]

Layers

   a great deal of life     is the building up of layers -    year after year    lesson after lesson    in school     and in the school of life

   through positive    and negative experiences    love and betrayal    growth and pruning    leaps and stumbles    we become who we are

   somewhere along the line    the building up will end    and a digging down begin

   when something begins to reveal our inner layers    is it a stripping away that    foretells the end of things,    or is it the next natural step    that lets us    evaluate    appreciate    inspect    even honor    all that has gone into making us who we are?

   some of us are never ready    to give away the surface things    some of us are truly afraid    of what we might see    if we really look within -     and when the river comes,    it will be a painful stripping away.

   some of us are learning to yield    to the flow of    years    Spirit    experience    so that in the letting go    we might find what really matters.

   Jesus said something about saving your life and losing it    or was it    losing your life to find it

[hawk27577]

First bloom

   The first blooms are at the most risk     for being damaged by frost     and they will be the first     to fade and die

   They will also be the first    to let their petals    waft down in the breeze    like a blessing whispered    to a passerby    or someone sitting on a park bench    or someone choosing a picnic spot    or someone thinking about suicide

   Maybe the early bloom     gives hope     to someone who needs it    Maybe the wafting petal     is the kiss     some wounded soul needs

   Whether anyone will notice    is an unknown mystery

   Blossoms    blessings    people    are often overlooked    so we might as well be ourselves    in all our glory    even if we're a little ahead -    or even a little behind -    the curve

   Because, even if    we don’t realize it,      we might be a beautiful thing    in the landscape of another life

   Our being     who we are    in the moment that is now    might be    a sign of hope    a reminder to someone    of what really matters    to their heart and soul,    a kiss that gives some weary soul    strength for going on        So we better not worry    about being early or late    and just go about the business    of being 

[hawk27577]

True Colors

   What we see on the outside can be misleading...

   prior to being sharpened,    the differences between these pencils    would seem insignificant -    a little fatter or thinner    maybe a little longer or shorter -    but mostly they all look alike    till we can see to the very core of each.

   seeing to the core of pencils    is pretty easy    because we do the sharpening    shaving    revealing    seeing to the core of people    is much harder!

   we can't sharpen them and take a peek -    they have to be willing    to let us see    what life has revealed    by whittling away at them;    what God planted uniquely within;    what experiences, for good or ill,    have colored their souls...

   seeing to our own core is even harder still

   what we know is that, like the people    gathered along the road    when Jesus    came to Jerusalem    the last time,    it's easiest to blend in with the crowd    singing hosanna one day    and crucify the next...

   letting our true colors show    is risky business    we might not like what we see    others might not like what they see    but it's only in seeing that we believe    and in seeing that we know the truth:    that tax collectors and prostitutes    sometimes find their places    in the dominion of God    more quickly than the rest of us

[hawk27577]

   My face shows where I’ve been,    My heart shows where I’m going.

   It’s a line from a movie    and it stopped my mind    in its tracks    and set my spirit free

Photo Credit: Old Beauty -Cusco-Peru #Milvus50mm by Kimber_Photo Soeholm Via Flickr: The power of love

[hawk27577]

Hiding in plain sight

   When the light is just right    so much can be seen    that’s normally invisible    hiding in plain sight    behind    beneath    and within    things as normal as grapes

   When the light is just right    you can glimpse the    veins     that nourish the fruit    and nudge it from translucent    to green    to red    to purple maturity

   When the light is just right    you can tell where the seeds lie    waiting     collecting energy    collecting ancient wisdom    tarrying until one day    becomes destiny

   When the light is just right    that which hides in plain sight    within us    is revealed as well -     within the heart    within the soul    dreams and visions    hopes and doubt    faith and fear    image and likeness    gathering energy    gathering wisdom    glowing as an ember    a spark    a glimmer    until one day the flicker     flashes    and flames dance    above us    within us    among us

   Do you look in the mirror    and see nothing but a    juicy grape    plump     normal    good for a quick snack    or a little buzz?

   Then you have yet to catch the Light    in just the right way    to see the destiny    already within    nudging you toward     brilliant    transparency

   keep looking

[hawk27577]

   if you cut me    would you    find something    this beautiful inside?

   if you cut me    will my inner angel    come to light    or will that little devil    on my left shoulder    show her face?

   if you cut me    will the layers of growth    indicate something - anything -    more important than my age?

   if you cut me    and turn me inside out    will my purpose be found    my beauty revealed    my true nature discovered?

   if you cut me    will there be anything    inside worth looking at?

   i'm not sure i could bear    to allow this angel    to share her light    even if her creator intended    for her to be put upon a lamp stand...    though i will not hide her    under a basket, either

   it is enough for me    to gaze upon her in the light of day    and know that my Creator    is at work, too,    layer upon layer    twist after turn    first imagining and designing    and then bringing my hidden treasures    to the surface

   if i am uncertain about exposing    all that lies within    i must trust that S/HE    knows how the juxtaposition    of all my moods    my gifts and defects    my training and intuition    will play against each other    in the end

   i must also trust    that only that which gives glory    to the Creator will be revealed anyway    so hide me in Christ    and hide Christ in me    that even my inkiest layers    reveal the spark within.

Originally posted on 21st April 2014 by Margaret Hawk (also known as Rev M~), on Blogger.

[hawk27577]

Matthew 5:43-47 “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. God gives the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty."

 - scripture quoted from The Message,emphasis by Margaret Hawk

Originally posted to Theo-blog-ically speaking on Blogger, 17th April 2014 by Margaret Hawk (also known as Rev M~)

[hawk27577]

   Bricks are great for    building solid    sturdy    airtight    walls for    homes    offices    churches

   but the temple    that is my life    is made up of     experiences    memories    dreams    breath    love    hope    and many of its pieces    were broken    as they were set in place    or came broken    and flawed to begin with

   they came oddly shaped    and had to be trimmed    smoothed    clipped    shaped    chiseled    hewn    before being assembled    into all that I am

   some came misshapen    from the start    rubbing blisters    cutting tender skin    straining muscles    backs    hopes    dreams    in the effort to     make them fit    make sense    yet always they    shifted the line    off level

   but look closely    for holy hands    saved every shard    chunk    fragment    scrap    lump    and gave them back to me    for correcting    the precarious    uneven    unstable     irregular    rise and fall    of experiences    dreams    hopes    broken    healing 

   in the end    those holy hands    restored what I would have    thrown away    creating an amazing mosaic    that somehow turned out    capable    strong    beautiful in its complexity    with room for prayers    to be tucked away    and safeguarded     for eternity    room for fingers and toes    to get a hold    to explore    investigate    climb beyond    and build higher    room for holy breath    to flow    whistle    sigh    soothe    and whisper     that all shall be well    because of the love    that has never    let go