I'm just a bitch trying my best here

I'm here for a long time not a good time welcome to the dumpster fire

[youcanemptymyarteries]

Are you a squirter?

If you cut the right artery.

[thecryptkeeper]

how it feels to drink water out of a mason jar

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you are now a cat in the warrior cats universe! Spin these wheels for your name!

Do you like it?

YES!!!

yes

eh it's okay

no.

IM MOON MOON

results/other

Remaining time: 6 days 6 hours

note: I (the owner of this blog and maker of wheels) am not into warrior cats! I just thought this would be fun to make

(prefixes and suffixes from @yarrowleef)

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

I DON'T WANNA BE DEAD WOLF

[kosmogrl]

[qalbtalk-deactivated20231105]

“…use things to have good days.”

[narcissistcookbook]

the loading screen trying to convince me to use even one of my 3000 consumables

[imaginarylands4000]

[hyunpic]

“global birth rates are declining”…… yeah and so are the reblog rates on tumblr.com too, so what now

[queer-as-city-folk]

is it weird to wish nudism was normalized purely because I'm curious what my friend's dicks look like?

[queer-as-city-folk]

not like in a sexual way, just because I think it's be interesting

[lastnightisatum-blur]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[meow-moment]

creating a new OC. He's a doctor who treats weird kink furries. his bit is that every patient who comes into his office he has to figure out how to complete the checkup while working around some weird toon-logic contrivance. He's like the doctor house of kink because he's the only one in his field capable of getting results. He's massively overworked and he's been IP banned from the e621 forums.

[meow-moment]

His name is Doctor RJ Yiphman and he's one wrong move away from getting fired.

[meow-moment]

Doctor Yiphman treats more patients

[meow-moment]

Yiphman's back

[meow-moment]

[f0restnympho420]

i’m on my heehee haha bullshit

[fairyinthetrees]

do you still think i'm hot with this giant hole in my chest

[dankmemeuniversity]

[iamoutofideas]

[the-big-mood]

[wizardshark]

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

[sexshopshenanigans]

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[giskie]

do i have to play warhammer 1-39999 first to understand 40k

[anxietyproblem]

[yellbug]

modesty