early morning wake me up

hayden rholing. Living one day at a time, with a fresh baked cookie. And with a coffee. And maybe some chocolate. But I promise to take my vitamins.

[haydenwth]

Hayden: Happy birthday, Reuben! hope its kickass for ya!

[haydenwth]

↳INSTAGRAM: @haydenrohling uploaded a photo:

Pace tried to call this pose the elfie selfie. Merry Christmas!

[haydenwth]

Hayden: Happy birthday, Bruno!! There's a couple rounds on me with your name on it. Try not to burn down the town tonight 😜

[haydenwth]

TEXT: IVY

Ivy: FREE FOOD AND A DATE WITH THE SUPER HOT HAYDEN RHOLING? sold

Ivy: thanks, hayd. i love you right back, dude. I'M FREE WEDNESDAY NO TAKE BACKS

Hayden: If you're free Wednesday I'm making myself free!! I'M IN

[haydenwth]

TEXT: IVY

Hayden: Happy birthday my favorite little asskicker! I hope you have a splendid day and you better let me buy you dinner within the next few days. Love you, lady!

[haydenwth]

↳SNAPCHAT: added to snapchat story

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: idk that lady seems like she's got a history. i bet she's like an assassin or something. we should protect josie.

Dan: STOP IMPLYING THAT IM YOUR MOM THIS IS NOT RIGHT

Dan: yeah maybe not a good plan lily might go all jedi on you

Dan: it's aces

Hayden: Dude, that old lady fucking terrifies me. Besides, I've already made it my life purpose to protect Josie. Tag team? Tag team.

Hayden: I can't even say you did this to yourself, I did this. Literally, all of it. You're too male to be my mom anyways.

Hayden: Lily may be tiny but she is fierce. I ain't fucking with her.

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: i might have to leave the country. maybe she and josie will fight. throwdown in the lobby.

Dan: fuck no i revealed too much i don't actually shower so that won't be happening bye

Dan: you sly minx

Hayden: i'm putting money on Josie. Safe travels. Send me a postcard. If you go to London tell your twin her daughter says hi.

Hayden: I guess I'm going to have to fall to Dalton.

Hayden: Except he's taken too good god what is it with you guys the attractive men in your fucking apartment.

Hayden: I bet you have a really nice water bill, then.

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: oh god we don't need to talk about that it gives me nightmares

Dan: whoa hold on that's not how anything works ever i don't do the singing business outside the shower missy

Dan: it's not corny it's really witty and well thought out thanks

Hayden: At least she's not the one giving you heart eyes. Poor Cullen but another bites the dust.

Hayden: Ooooooohhhhh, yeah we will see about that. Just wait. Your time is coming.

Hayden: Sounds like it should be the name of your band. For when you sing.

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: great, i'm looking up karaoke machines online and they're kinda expensive, might have to put cullen in a strip club to finance one

Dan: IT WASN'T A WOMAN I SAW WHAT I SAW AND WHAT I SAW WAS BRUNO MARS

Dan: that's harsh, i guess i'll just have to be super fuckin careful huh?

Hayden: You'd hardly have to have him thrown in there. I saw the old lady across the hall giving him the heart eyes. She'd probably straight up give money if you said it was for him.

Hayden: Wait. No, no, no. NOT FOR ME YOU'RE NOT. You already saw the peak of my performance skills. It's your turn to do the singing, buddy boy.

Hayden: I guess so. The Dan Machine is too catchy. Corny, mind you, but it's a catch.

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: you are a blessing

Dan: i think you should do that full time, i'm just saying

Dan: bruno mars brought us together hayden don't shit talk him

Dan: nah he probably wouldn't forgive you, nobody wants to be in a world without the dan machine

Hayden: For sparing you, maybe I will.

Hayden: Maybe I wouldn't if I saw him dressed as a woman. Uptown Fucked me up.

Hayden: It would be heartbreaking. If you ever leave I'll hunt you down and make you go away myself. Just saying. I'd bring you back but I'd make you go away.

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: YAAAAAAAS

Dan: not to be a complete dick but would you mind just sending her that as an official copy, maybe sign it and stuff, just so it's out there

Dan: yeah given my lifelong search for irony that'd make me real happy

Dan: idk i mean i nearly fell asleep in that traffic before i heard you singing so in my opinion he saved my life

Hayden: HAHA done. It's happening. I like the way you think.

Hayden: Just doing my daily Caraeoke duties... you're welcome. The last thing I would have needed was another traffic jam at the sacrifice of you. That's something I feel like your mammoth of a roommate would have never forgiven me for. Had I been singing Highway to Hell, events could have been different. I feel like a god.

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: well to start out, and in the most respectful way possible, you're hot as fuck

Dan: i'm just saying you know if you wanted to run me over with your car or something i'd be totally okay with it

Dan: anyways

Dan: IT WAS BRUNO MARS FUCK ALL OF YOU

Dan: no i had a mcflurry in one hand and some fries in the other and i wasn't about to fucking drop those

Hayden: Yeaaaah, fuck Ivy I'm keeping you around instead.

Hayden: That would imply I'm not going to run you over with my car. That would be immoral. The irony would be funny, though. Man who fixes car gets taken out by car.

Hayden: YEAH OKAY. Whatever you say pretty boy.

Hayden: But fair dos. Bruno is ruining my life anyways. Spare the goods. They didn't do shit wrong.

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: i mean hey it wasn't just that lovely rendition that did me in, you know.

Dan: i swear on my life

Dan: okay dalton says it was actually a lady but he's full of shit i swear to fucking god it was him

Hayden: It wasn't? Very interesting. Go on.

Hayden: DAN. Oh my god. You thought a fucking lady was Bruno Mars.

Hayden: I can't even get upset about that. That's fucking brilliant.

Hayden: Did you take a picture?

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: dammit ives

Dan: dreamy, huh? let's elaborate on that. i think texts should have italics specifically for this purpose.

Dan: so, my story. i totally saw bruno mars today. like no fuckin joke.

Hayden: Listen, if you could listen to a cover of Uptown Funk and still bare to stay in contact with me. That's dreamy as shit.

Hayden: Get the fuck out you did not? ...did you?

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: this got so weird so fast

Dan: i dunno i'm not really feelin it now i might need convincing

Hayden: Yeaaaaaaaah, I've spent far too much time with Ivy.

Hayden: You're so dreamy, like... mega dreamy. So much so that if texts could have italics, 'so' would be in italics. So not mom like.

[haydenwth]

TEXT: HAYDEN

Dan: i AM cool and shit just not right now

Dan: yep that's it I'm changing my number and moving away you won't ever get to hear my story that i was gonna tell you

Hayden: Mom, don't be like that.

Hayden: But no.. dude. You can't leave it at that. Give me the story.