Feeling Worn

Luc(y/a). Genderfluid. Ask my pronouns. 21.

[itsnotvinebutitsfine]

| That’s…. not how that works

[leupagus]

This woman deserves an oscar

[it-is-a-mystery]

same energy

[greia]

Transcript:

Person in scrubs: This was a conversation I had while working at a retail pharmacy.

Person in scrubs: Hi ma’am, how can I help you today?

Customer: [rude, sounding bored] I need to refill my birth control.

Scrubs: Sure, let me check on that. Hm, it looks like you’re a little early. Did the doctor change the way you’re taking it?

Customer: [snidely] No, he told me exactly how to take it and that’s exactly how I’m taking it.

Scrubs: Okay, why don’t you tell me how you’re taking it, and I’ll make sure we wrote the correct directions the first time.

Customer: [rudely] I take one every morning at 8 AM, and so does my boyfriend.

Scrubs: [long pause, blinking] What?

[luthorchickv2]

I am shrieking with laughter but only because if I don’t laugh I will burst into tears. 

[topshotpicks]

[youthoughtiwasasleepdidntyou]

I feel these in my soul

[the-horologist]

“Tonight I can write (The Saddest Lines),” Pablo Neruda / frenchtoastlesbian / Hozier / “seven,” Taylor Swift / Fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge

[gerwoman-deactivated20160523]

rapper in a song: you know who this is!!

me: 

[bitchbitesdog]

whenever i talk about men’s boobs guys are always like “you mean pecs?” bitch i said boobies. tits.

[cryhounds]

I yank my coochie hair out when I'm stressed out (like chacha trichotillomania) and I just yanked one out that's strawberry blonde and I am so shocked. Everybody else dark at but this bitch was thinking she the anime protag of my hahina

im obsessed with you

[whitepeopletwitter]

[r4cs0]

[the-memedaddy]

meirl

[warped25]

[ip2lb]

[hexpress]

sink the wholeass island!

[catsi]

physchem didn’t expect any of those lines to actually work. she wasn’t prepared for the possibility of having to confront her feelings in a meaningful way. she doesn’t know if their city even has a Charles Entertainment Cheese establishment

[mockwa]

[anhedoniczoruko]

He’s so committed to the act too.

He’s fake wincing and scrunching his face like he’s in pain before she’s even in the room.

[puertohurraco]

Val Kilmer wild for that one

[kaijuno]

This is what it’s like living in Michigan

[the-new-mandalor]

It’s a Monty Python skit.

[flyingwerecats]

Guy: *Singing* I’m doing some fishing…

Officer: *Emerges from the water with a grunt* You there, Sir!! I certainly hope you’ve got a fishing license!

Guy: *Panicking* Wha, no, I don’t!

Officer: Oh no?

Guy: *Screaming*

Officer: I’ll have you beheaded!!

[hclark70]

As a Michigan native,  I confirm this is all true.

[gotshadowbanned-feralfungii]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[noahnomore]

[funny-tik-toks]

[dajo42]

a few weeks ago i was playing smash ultimate and my brother was like “you play with final smash on?” and i was like, yeah, my dude, i play the ridiculous cartoon character fighting game where byleth and captain olimar can brawl to the death in green hill zone and funnily enough i dont turn off the magic floating ball that lets them do the biggest silly bullshit. im playing this game in the kitchen

[dajo42]

“you play with ITEMS???” like YES its literally the silliest game possible by design, if i wasnt supposed to play as isabelle and spend the entire time assembling a giant gun to blast bowser off the side of palutena’s temple it wouldn’t be a fucking option

[reginaldqueribundus]

why would you buy a game where you can make Donkey Kong beat Solid Snake to death with a flower on the back of a giant turtle and then…not do that