It's a mess, it's always a mess

I Have No Money The $5 Left Over after Bills On One Paycheck Does NOT Make It To The Next! I'm Donating Plasma To Make Ends Meet!

[grandenchanterfiona]

Why do my interests in canning, couponing, and homesteading overlap so often with blogs with titles like ‘The Obedient Housewife’? 

[livingdeadpoetssociety]

Like, I’m like, “I want to learn to make soap and farm,” and suddenly I see 500 “traditional family” motherfuckers like no you are mistaken. I am just a simple lesbian anticapitalist looking to limit my consumerism as much as possible.

[roachpatrol]

‘these fun crafts will keep your kids occupied until your husband gets home!’ no i want a clothespin crown for me

[plantyhamchuk]

As a nerd who homesteads, let me share the data I have gathered!

First is my megalist of homesteading-related links I’ve gathered over the years. I’m a mod over at r/homesteading and this is where I’ve put a lot of good sources (not all, admittedly some are still sitting in my bookmark folder waiting to be added). The search function at reddit is wretched, but there’s also been lots of good things I’ve shared there too. Please note that many of these sources are not actual webpages, but PDFs. That’s not an accident, PDFs are where you find the really good in-depth stuff.

Many of my sources are from the Extension Service. They won’t try to relate to you based on your lifestyle or sexual identity or religion or whatever, but due to that, they also won’t be alienating you either.

The Cooperative Extension Service (US only) exists in all 50 states and in most counties. It is taxpayer funded. The Extension Service exists to help people become more self sufficient, for farmers to be more successful, for people to be healthier, for kids to be well adjusted, to figure out how to grow the best plants in your area, etc. Some county offices even offer cheap classes in things like gardening, canning, soap making, and they’re taught by people with training in these areas (I once heard a great talk on composting from a soil scientist that way). Do you want to know what type of plant something is? Do you need help figuring out a plant disease or pest issue? You can now contact them online and get great info.

I HIGHLY recommend checking out your state’s extension service website, because they do offer different types of information, depending on what is grown/raised where you are (and how well funded they are). My county extension puts out a monthly gardening newsletter, which includes a helpful ‘this is the time of the year to do —-’ part.

Here’s an example from North Carolina - check out that left sidebar

Here’s an example from California - this website is HUGE so dig around

Here’s an example from New York - they have a calendar at the bottom, showing how they have things like hydroponic and urban agriculture workshops coming up.

Interested in raising animals? Penn State Extension is really really good. They have tons of free materials and courses available online, some I pulled for my megalist at the top of this.

National Center for Home Food Preservation - they cover the important aspects of food safety, and also have some recipes. Many state Extension Service websites will have lots more recipes.

If you have kids, check out 4-H programs for them. It’s part of the local public school system here. If you’re homeschooling, you can also purchase their science-filled educational and self sufficiency materials (materials are divided by age ranges - Cloverbud Member: ages 5-8, Junior Member: ages 9-13, Senior Member: ages 14-19). One of my coworkers is in 4-H, she’s still in high school, and last year she raised an award-winning heifer.

Congress grants the money for funding these programs, and they’re connected with various universities. There’s a level of cutting edge scientific knowledge and academic rigor you don’t find in blogs or even most books. There’s LOTS of homesteading books filled with outdated information like ‘till the earth every year’ hell I still have older coworkers who do it and I’m trying to figure out how to gently tell them that they’re destroying their soil that way, and that there’s better methods now, methods grounded in science.

Knitting - try this youtube series

DIY Crown - here’s a youtube video on how to make a mermaid crown

Hope this is helpful to someone out there.

[systlin]

HOLY FUCKIN SHIT BLESS

[somecunttookmyurl]

one of my favourite things about my boyfriend is that he's 6'4 but convinced he is a normal sized person and this does not constitute "tall"

once, if not twice, a week the card game shop he plays digimon at upload a top-4 photo best described as "gandalf and the hobbits" and every time he is genuinely baffled as to why he looks like that

[somecunttookmyurl]

told him i made this post and he's still insistent that he isn't tall

bf: i'm not tall! i feel like everyone i see is around the same height as me. like people in the street

me: they aren't

bf: but i can see their faces! if i'm looking at their faces they must be the same height

me: you're looking down slightly babe

bf: why would i do that

me: because you're tall

[somecunttookmyurl]

incidentally the fact i am 5'5 also comes as a shock to him at least once a day and then he inevitably asks if i'm "normally that short"

[somecunttookmyurl]

if you lean in real close you can hear his singular brain cell bouncing around like a windows screensaver

[roskapanda]

Has your boyfriend got his eyesight checked? Bc when I don’t wear my glasses I’m nice and close to the ground but when I do it’s HOLY SHIT WHY AM I THIS TALL, I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS, HELP ME time and it’s genuinelly terrifying.

[somecunttookmyurl]

he wears glasses he's just dumb

[somecunttookmyurl]

update to this post from yesterday:

bf: apparently only 7% of people are over 6' tall me: yes........? bf: that isn't very many. am i tall? me: i cannot believe we are having this discussion again. yes. you are tall. you are still tall. you were tall yesterday. you will be tall tomorrow bf: oh my god i'm tall aren't i me: my love the netherlands is the tallest country in the world and even there average male height is 6' 0.5". you are tall by "kingdom of giants" standards, even. but we live on "shortarse island", so... bf: AM i tall though me: you are 6ft 4

[somecunttookmyurl]

he is he's very pretty

[teacupsandtimelords]

Can he make spinach puffs? Asking for irrelevant reasons....

[somecunttookmyurl]

having watched emperors new groove (it's my favourite) he does understand this reference but also he really loves cooking so you saying this has now prompted him to look up how to make spinach puffs

which is to say that yes, he is kronk

[somecunttookmyurl]

fun fact they're both the same person. same 6'4 boyfriend referred to himself as a short king because he thought it meant a man who really likes wearing shorts

[cipheramnesia]

Large dog energy

[jaubaius]

14 Wind Turbines Aligned In A Row In Nevada

[shetheyslay]

@missouri-misery don’t leave this in the tags

[what-even-is-thiss]

You should be able to adopt adults for inheritance purposes like in Ancient Rome. Yeah this is Cathy the 23 year old and she’s my daughter now. She has my last name. When I die she inherits the tire shop.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Cathy will bring glory and dignitas to this America’s Tire franchise location just as I and my father did before her.

[foone]

The three types of kink are

* you have power

* you're safe

* feet

[foone]

this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):

You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.

You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.

Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.

[foone]

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

[sleepydogdisease]

oh no, animal ears are feet

[foone]

yeah. cat ears are feet!

[mere-technicality]

can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue

[foone]

oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it

[itsmsdirection]

this post was rattling around in my head

[taumoebros]

mysterious next door neighbors~

bonus:

[coleslawwwww]

Simon’s not used to the supervised sleep yet

[parkayquarts]

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

[everyday-cutephoto]

[matineaux-deactivated20260222]

kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc

[hi-im-ryn]

[wayba3]

A teacher and his aquarium

[bad3idea3]

So Shane Hollander is put on IR for something minor and gets to join the Ottawa WAGs for a game. They are so jazzed they get him a WAG jacket just for the occasion. They’re coming down the stairs of the stadium in a pack and the jumbotron catches them. The WAGs all jump up and down and start waving, grabbing and pointing to Shane’s jacket as he blushes, until one new girl in platform heels buckles her ankles and nearly biffs it.

NEARLY because Shane Hollander catches her with his professional athlete reflexes. With no room to move on the crowded steps, he pulls her into a bridal carry like she weighs peanuts and twists and shuffles her to a seat. He places her down gently and gets on one knee to ask if she’s ok. She is truly swooning. Everyone in the stadium is swooning.

Shane rights himself and to his surprise a grown woman and girlfriend of his teammate is requesting “uppies”. He tries to laugh it off. Dr. Lisa Hayes announces “You guys are amateurs, watch this!”

She sprints up a couple of steps, turns, and jumps. Shane catches her immediately, but flops her into a fireman carry. He goes full captain about how unsafe this is and they should all know better. He then puts Lisa down just as gently and she high-fives the new girl with no remorse.

Every Centaur accuses Shane of trying to steal their girl. Ilya wants “uppies”.

[sparklequeen1989]

Shane doesn't use the Pride Tape on his stick. He doesn't like the feel of it, he likes his specific tape and his routines. After the Fanmail Outing, a reporter asks him if he's going to use the Pride tape now and Shane is like "no? It's cool that other people use it but it's not for me" and people keep bugging him about it and someone online posts a big thing about internalized homophobia and Shane just posts online

"I'm not homophobic, I'm autistic, thanks for making me reveal something about myself I wasn't sure I wanted the public to know about AGAIN"

And Ilya, who never used the Pride Tape because of the whole Being Russian thing just posts a selfie of him and Shane post-fuck with the quote

"how can I be homophobic, my bitch is gay"

[clownboybebop]

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

[lavenderprose]

Shane in the locker room of any given All Star Game after he and Ilya get married and are playing on opposing teams for the weekend: If we don't beat those guys I will actually spend the rest of my life thinking about it. This is your only chance to prove to me that you belong in the NHL. This is not a friendly game, this is a grudge match to the death. I want you all to lock in like you have never fucking locked in--

Meanwhile, Ilya: Woohoo boys let's play some fucking hockey [Timber by Pitbull blasting at full volume]

Cliff Marleau, probably: Hollander's gonna kill you in cold blood, man.

Ilya: Cliff. Cliff let me look in your eyes when I say this. I know. I will enjoy it very much. My night ends the same whether I win or lose, Marley. Anyway. [Song switches to Party Rock Anthem] LET'S MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT BOYS. WOO

Cliff: Dude what is this playlist.

Ilya: It is called 'Prom Night 2013.' Was a good year for me, Marley.

[deletiaclementine]

Something I eat up in fic every time is when Shane calls Ilya pretty or hot or beautiful and it stops Ilya and his low self esteem in his tracks to ask “do you really think so?” because Shane never says it and poor autistic blueberry Shane is like “I figured he knew on account of all the very enthusiastic sluttery we engage in together”

[bunchofstufffff]

Anya had had a long, happy life. She knew she would from the moment Ilya first picked her up in his arms. When the time had come to say goodbye, Anya went to sleep looking into the eyes of all her favorite people in the world. She felt their hands caressing her fur with love, heard hushed voices enveloping her in a cloud of peace, and she thought, "this isn't the last time we'll see each other". She didn't need to make a promise about looking after them for the rest of their time, because Anya had made that vow a long time back.

She didn't waste a second. The day after they parted, Anya watched as Shane and Ilya sat on the couch, her little sister laying on the pillow Anya loved to cuddle.

"I didn't want Anya to go away yet," the little one sniffled.

Ilya looked up trying not to cry.

"I know, honey," Shane said softly, running a hand through curly, jet black hair. "She didn't want to either, but she was really old, and her body was having trouble keeping up with her energy."

That was true, Anya thought. By the end, she couldn't even go on walks anymore, and she hadn't been able to carry her sister on her back for a few years. She just wished they weren't all so sad, Anya was right here! There must be a way to show them!

"She lived a really amazing life with you, solnyshko. Your dad and I thought she was always the happiest dog, but we got to know a completely new side of Anya when you arrived."

"Really?"

"Really."

Anya watched as her little sister sat in silence for a moment, patting her hands onto Anya's pillow.

"I'm going to miss her, daddy," she cried, launching herself onto Shane's lap. "I will never forget her."

Shane and Ilya shared a look between them, their wobbly lips and shiny eyes breaking Anya's heart.

"We won't forget her either, baby," Shane said, and at the sound of his broken voice her sister looked up.

She put both of her hands on Shane's cheeks, pouting.

"Don't be sad, daddy. I cry because I'm little. Tomorrow I will be brave."

Shane and Ilya laughed, softly squishing her between them.

"You are brave, solnyshko. I know Anya is looking down now, so proud of you for wanting to be better. But I'm sure she thinks you are already perfect," Ilya told her.

Yes!

"That is right," Anya thought. "I will make sure to let them know when we meet again", she promised to herself, rolling around the greenest and softest grass she had ever walked on.